In Praise of My Sisters. -- -long post.
I can't take credit for this. A friend of mine (a woman) posted in in Facebook, but I felt compelled to re-print it. Somewhere along the way, I and many of my brothers have lost sight of some things that were / are important in understanding our sisters.
Let me remind everyone that black women are strong by nature. When our men were brutally killed and/or taken away, we led the household. But, not by choice. We've been force-fed this idea of superhuman strength for centuries. When our men marched, we marched. We our men were slain while fighting for justice, we picked up the torch, bounced the baby on our hips and carried on. No one will ever love a black man, like a black woman. It's a love that's deep-rooted in our souls; a kinship perfected over time. And, now we're being crucified for the very thing that shapes our identities as black women.
Danger: I'm about to make a bold statement. It's not that we're too strong, it's that many black men have become weak. Too many times, we women try to campaign our positive points instead of really pinpointing the underlying problem. Point blank truth: black men are not stepping up as leaders and our families are paying a detrimental price. Instead of protecting our honor and shielding us from becoming distorted images, they've demoted us to shawty, ***** and ho'. Instead of re-affirming the essence of our natural beauty, they've gladly given the world the right to define us according to the ****eyed standards they've embedded and capitalized on. Let's gather the opinion of our local video ho' ....."...." Oh, that's right. They don't actually speak.
I'm not generalizing all men. I whole-heartedly believe that many black men are good-natured at heart, but as much as we'd like our hearts to represent us, we all know that it's your choices and actions that do the talking. I do thank God for the real men...though you are outnumbered, you shine brighter than any diamond-encrusted crown swinging from the neck of an empty-headed fool. Let's not forget the intelligent, witty, successful fool. Or, the fist raised to the air Marcus Garvey quoting fool. They exist too.... Hiding in the flimsy shells of their egos, fearful that a woman might pose a challenge.
When are black men going to become worthy opponents instead of looking for an easy win?
Hey D:
This is really saying a lot...sounds good. I used to think like that but as I got older, some things I had to reconsider (1) Relationships are 50/50, give and take, and I gotta say that as an Adult....ain't nobody gonna tell Me what position to apply for (just using the example). When 2 ADULTS are in a relationship BOTH have to accept responsibility and "take attitude" DOWN a notch because you Do NOT talk to another Adult in a certain way and expect to get away with it over a period of time. So whatever attitude is needed to GUIDE your CHILD CAN NOT be Transposed in an Adult Relationship; if a person has to be a Boss or a Boss is needed in an Adult Relationship then SOMEBODY is a Child. or someone is NOT getting/giving proper respect; (2) Sometimes you get with someone in a part of your Life where they FIT and You FIT. But what happens when "somebody out grows" the next... and what it took "back then" doesn't work NOW...again, Relationships have a Life also, they are Fluid/Evolutionary. At one time one person may needed a Coach (Vince Lombardi type), years later that person may have gotten to a place where they need a counsel and confidante...how well are "we" all adjusting to the Fluidity of our Relationships? (3) I don't really care for the term "strong Black Woman", sure our existance here in the USA has been unique and harder than most, but most other Ethnic Women have had to bear similar burdens. We (Black Women) need to admit that we are not "Super Women" and NEED some HELP and stop making EXCUSES for lazy/no good men. See, there in lay the conflict, we uphold the "sorry" MF and call it "protection", or say we are Strong BUT won't live without a man No Matter how sorry he is...carrying a lazy, trifflin man is not Strength, that's weakness, and sometimes I think some women do it because they CAN BOSS and call the shots.
I think that the soliloquy is acceptable depending on one's experience but by no means represent most Black Women's thoughts anymore...why? Because I believe that many Black Women are exercising other options in terms of the Ethnic make-up of their spouses...and also, many Sisters don't feel that we have to justify who we are and that this soliloquy is in fact a Stereotype of Black Women (loud, head bobbin, gum poppin, bossy, sex crazy *****). As for Me, the writer can keep that Stereotype because that is in fact what/who she is DEFENDING.
This is really saying a lot...sounds good. I used to think like that but as I got older, some things I had to reconsider (1) Relationships are 50/50, give and take, and I gotta say that as an Adult....ain't nobody gonna tell Me what position to apply for (just using the example). When 2 ADULTS are in a relationship BOTH have to accept responsibility and "take attitude" DOWN a notch because you Do NOT talk to another Adult in a certain way and expect to get away with it over a period of time. So whatever attitude is needed to GUIDE your CHILD CAN NOT be Transposed in an Adult Relationship; if a person has to be a Boss or a Boss is needed in an Adult Relationship then SOMEBODY is a Child. or someone is NOT getting/giving proper respect; (2) Sometimes you get with someone in a part of your Life where they FIT and You FIT. But what happens when "somebody out grows" the next... and what it took "back then" doesn't work NOW...again, Relationships have a Life also, they are Fluid/Evolutionary. At one time one person may needed a Coach (Vince Lombardi type), years later that person may have gotten to a place where they need a counsel and confidante...how well are "we" all adjusting to the Fluidity of our Relationships? (3) I don't really care for the term "strong Black Woman", sure our existance here in the USA has been unique and harder than most, but most other Ethnic Women have had to bear similar burdens. We (Black Women) need to admit that we are not "Super Women" and NEED some HELP and stop making EXCUSES for lazy/no good men. See, there in lay the conflict, we uphold the "sorry" MF and call it "protection", or say we are Strong BUT won't live without a man No Matter how sorry he is...carrying a lazy, trifflin man is not Strength, that's weakness, and sometimes I think some women do it because they CAN BOSS and call the shots.
I think that the soliloquy is acceptable depending on one's experience but by no means represent most Black Women's thoughts anymore...why? Because I believe that many Black Women are exercising other options in terms of the Ethnic make-up of their spouses...and also, many Sisters don't feel that we have to justify who we are and that this soliloquy is in fact a Stereotype of Black Women (loud, head bobbin, gum poppin, bossy, sex crazy *****). As for Me, the writer can keep that Stereotype because that is in fact what/who she is DEFENDING.
Be Well, Live Well
I Am Most Excellent - Affirmed Only Of GOD.
I wish for You, what I pray for Myself: Wellness, Happiness and Success In ALL Things Good!
I know for Sure I Control: My Attitude and Effort, My Health and Happiness.