Had a What chu talkin bout Willis moment.......
I know I'm late adding my thoughts, but let me say. You and this man have a dynamic in your relationship that has been VERY well established over the past 15 years and you are shaking things up! He knows you, what you like, don't like, need, don't need, want and can't stand! The fact that he is feeling insecure....is normal. Almost text book, honestly. He is worried that you will change and he will not know how to deal with you anymore or how he fits into the picture. Guess what? He's right. You will change and with a swiftness. Change is inevitable, in everything but especially weight loss surgery. That is not to say that your feelings towards him will change per say, or that you won't want him anymore because of all the other men now pursuing you, but…..it may mean ALL of those things will change. YOU are changing which immediately changes the dynamic that has been so long in place. He is loosing his comfort zone. What was your relationship will no longer be...even if you wanted it to be.
Okay...here is a great example.. the same thing happens when we add children to our marriages. It changes everything. You are now not exclusively his and your body is now used for more than his enjoyment. Your time and attention are now split between this child and him and regardless of how much he loves being a father and how much he loves you, the relationship between you changes and if it is to be a successful change, it requires that you both be real about it and change with it. He needs to feel secure about where he stands with you and you need to know the TRUE nature of his feelings toward you. Now maybe he needs to put a ring on it if he is all that worried about you leaving him!! (Damn, that sounded just like my mother. How hell did she get in here)? The baby drama is a despite attempt to nail you down, to tie you to him. He is grasping for straws and doing whatever he thinks will work to keep you with him. It’s immature and useless and leaves us, as women scratching our heads like…..WTF???? If he is the one man you want, let him know that. Fat or skinny, you belong to him only. If not, then let him know that you are not sure what will happen. You may want to ask, is he with you because he is under the impression (and mistakenly I might add) that you have no other men pursuing you? Is he with you because you aren't a challenge for him? Are you convenient? Is he? Is your relationship like a pair of comfy slippers that he can put on or taken off when needed? If he wants you for you, fat or skinny and you want him (immature and insecure) then it all starts with an honest conversation with each other. WLS changes you and your relationships. It just does.
Okay...here is a great example.. the same thing happens when we add children to our marriages. It changes everything. You are now not exclusively his and your body is now used for more than his enjoyment. Your time and attention are now split between this child and him and regardless of how much he loves being a father and how much he loves you, the relationship between you changes and if it is to be a successful change, it requires that you both be real about it and change with it. He needs to feel secure about where he stands with you and you need to know the TRUE nature of his feelings toward you. Now maybe he needs to put a ring on it if he is all that worried about you leaving him!! (Damn, that sounded just like my mother. How hell did she get in here)? The baby drama is a despite attempt to nail you down, to tie you to him. He is grasping for straws and doing whatever he thinks will work to keep you with him. It’s immature and useless and leaves us, as women scratching our heads like…..WTF???? If he is the one man you want, let him know that. Fat or skinny, you belong to him only. If not, then let him know that you are not sure what will happen. You may want to ask, is he with you because he is under the impression (and mistakenly I might add) that you have no other men pursuing you? Is he with you because you aren't a challenge for him? Are you convenient? Is he? Is your relationship like a pair of comfy slippers that he can put on or taken off when needed? If he wants you for you, fat or skinny and you want him (immature and insecure) then it all starts with an honest conversation with each other. WLS changes you and your relationships. It just does.
Most Active
Recent Topics
