Black and White Men in the Workplace

hey fam..with all this talk about weight loss and self perceptions, i have been paying close attention to how others react to me in the workplace.   now that I lost a few pounds and let my hair grow a little it appears that people find me more approachable or maybe a better word is less threatening.. (or maybe i just ain't walking around looking mean like Stokley Carmichael no more)anyways.. over the past couple of years i have become real tight with a cat at work who happens to be white..believe it or not we come from similiar backgrounds which i think is the basis of our "friendship".  Dude grew up in an old tenement building up in the Bronx where his family still lives and had to go into the service because his parents couldnt afford college..Dude plays straight rough house bronx style basketball and those brothas from NY can understand that term.. he goes from his MANSION in northern NJ to the Bronx every sunday to take his moms to mass just like some brothas i know who drive moms to church every sunday.. he fist bumps and leaves the er off of MotherF..so suffice it to say his life experiences are more in line with the struggling masses than those who were born into wealth..every morning we look for each other and we sit over a cup of coffee and kick it about everything from office politics to world issues..and even though he is a republican, our core values are still very much the same.. now here's the head crack.. because we come from similiar backgrounds our supervisory styles are similiar..however where he is perceived as a go getter i am perceived as an aggressor.. where he is perceived to be efficient and thorough i am thought to be overly sensitive and slightly paranoid..when he gets loud he is being firm when i speak loud i am being confrontaional..he holds a higher rank than i so I ain't no threat to him in that regard but we both have the same formal education, the same amount of seniority and still the rules and standards change when it comes to me.. i wonder if my Dude is even aware of this level of  my reality... and i wonder if you brothas have had similiar situations in your workplace..  

your friend has no idea how different the two of you are. while he doesn't see you as being aggressive or confrontational, he probably doesn't see that others see you that way.

being a brotha in management...well, i was before i got laid off....i learned early on that my skin was my sin. being a black man and being largest person in the room always scared folks. 

i concur Big Sam..

Although you weren't looking for it, I'm throwing in my .02. 

Unfortunately, you are seen as intimidating regardless of if you actually are or not.  It comes with the again unfortunate territory of the whole cross the street, hold your purse closer to you mentality that some people have.

For some people. their entire perception of Black Americans is based on TV, what they have been told, etc.  So to them here you are in a position of authority, about business and it brings out all of their insecurities and false realities.  I can tell you that assumptions are made in the workplace just as much about women, specifically Black women.  Both our VP and Sr. VP are black--and the instant remark about the VP who is a woman--"she's going to be a beyotch."--general consensus within my department.  I on the other hand love her-- because she's about business and you instantly know what's up and what's acceptable with her.  She has no time for games and unfortunately some people don't know how to handle that so it becomes an issue with her personally instead of themselves.

I don't think this will change in many ways until the baby boomer and possibly even the next generation is out of the workplace. 

 

I can tell you that assumptions are made in the workplace just as much about women, specifically Black women.  

 

 Cosigning.

I have been on the receiving end of this too.  I’ve never been one to walk around with a fake perma-grin plastered on my face, so (especially when I was heavier) they would assume that I wasn’t “friendly".  

 

Truthfully, I’ve received more flack from white males during my professional career than from any other demographic group.  I seriously think they were insulted or threatened because I’m not passive and didn’t take a submissive posture to them.  OMG, the stories I could tell.  When I was finally promoted to a senior management position, you would have thought somebody died around here.  Not a single one of them offered me congratulations. 

As long as my paycheck doesn't bounce I could care less.

Edited to add:  My current boss is a white female and she’s great.  It’s funny, but she’s also one that some people wanted to label as “difficult" but to me she has very a strong work ethic and expects people to pull their weight.  I think there’s anything unreasonable about that. 

 

 

 

I feel you Sue...I have worked in male dominated jobs scince I was 18 and trust and believe I have got alot of testostorne(sp? ) thrown in my face over the years.....now a days most guys have come around however there are still some cave men around who are just set in thier ways , but I just say a prayer for them and keep it moving

I've never had to deal with that kind of mentality from the brothers though.  I guess because they are accustomed to working with us as partners. 

I so agree with you on this point So Blessed.  When I started working here...I replaced a white woman who had been in the position for 25 years.  Now mind you....As the gatekeeper for the research funds....I was the last person folks wanted to see.  I must work with every  faculty member from all nationalities and other demographics.  Guess what I got just as much flap from the black folks as I did from the others.  There were serious trust issues on all levels ...constant testing.....so I had to wear my Muckmaster Boots just so I wade through all the crap my first year. For me a lot came down to showing them that I could be effective and dependable....haven't had a problem since I "proved" myself.

I also think wherever you work the attitude of leadership is going to impact the climate. I am lucky that leadership here is very supportive of me.  My boss (white female) and I go at it from time to time...but when it all comes down to it...she has my back....and that is really what counts. 

ETA: The white males gave me the most problem as with you.  My consolation came when one of the faculty who had given me major problems..was singing my praises prior to his retirement... all comes down to building that rapport.

So Blessed,

I read your post, and I GUARANTEE that your story is shared by millions of other sharp ass, intellectual sisters.

I used to agree with your last sentence as well,,,,,,,, but what about the NEXT sharp sister that comes along?

Why should SHE have to deal with all these stereotypes you had to fight thru?


White folks do NOT get that. I guarantee you, you could NOT convince my boss that I was EVER treated differently than any other manager. He would take that mistruth, to City Hall. And I dont even know if I would try to explain that to him. He is a shrewd businessman, and he personally is not prejudiced. Nor, would he employ anyone he thought was like that.

But that STILL doesnt mean he understands what the "big, black, deep voiced, black man" goes thru.

And the first thing they try to say is "Well, I think thats how HE perceived things"  which is more bullshyt.


Que

I read your post, and I GUARANTEE that your story is shared by millions of other sharp ass, intellectual sisters.

I used to agree with your last sentence as well,,,,,,,, but what about the NEXT sharp sister that comes along?

Why should SHE have to deal with all these stereotypes you had to fight thru?




She shouldn't have to but I know that she will because that is just the world we live in.  We talk to our girls about this because they need to be prepared for what they're going to have to face.  The high schooler had an orchestra concert last night and she was the only black face on the stage.  My husband and I made a point to encourage BOTH of them to pursue their dreams even when there is nobody else there who looks like them.