Advice needed please

Please give me some advice.
My father and I have never seen eye to eye about anything. So when I told him my surgery date he went on his usual tangent with his negativity towards my choice. Is it wrong for me to not want him at the hospital? I just can't get with all the negative energy he brings.  

you surgery is about YOU.

My mother and I didn't agree either and my best friend took me to the hospital the morning of and stayed until I was out - then did my first floor walk with me.  Now that I have lost the weight and kept it off, my mom is cool with it - but I was pretty much on my own in the beginning.

Keep him away if it will keep YOU together - you will have enough to face with the process without the BS!!

Good luck to you! 

Hi Miranda... If he is going to be negative do not have him around... My fiance was 50/50 at first and I made him stay home from my group meeting prior to surgery and then he started to act right... I would try to work it out prior to surgery but if you guys cannot see eye to eye you need to give him a choice.

I know that he is scared for me because I am his only child, but he has only heard myths and horror stories from 1 coworker. I love the man, but we will not debate this life choice! LOL I can just hear his smart ass remarks that he will be muttering!

Miranda72380;

This is about you! If you are comfortable with your decision then PRAY and move with it. Everyone else will have to fall in line or get to stepping!

Sorry to hear that Miranda but negative energy is definitely not what you need around you right now...no matter how well meaning it may be.  When I mentioned that I was researching and considering WLS to my family, there were losts of negative reactions and a bunch of "my friends cousins aunt had it and she" followed by some horror story.  Because of that they don't know of my final decision. The only people that know are my fiance, boss and 2 of my girlfriends.

I asked the phsychiatrist during my eval. about how to handle the negative reactions of people who I told that I was having WLS and she turned the question around to me.  She said if I had done all my research and I was sure that this was the right choice for me....why did I care if others didn't agree with it? She asked if I was looking for their acceptance? I said no but I love them and I want their support.  Then she asked me if I did not get their support, would I still want this for myself and my answer was yes.  She then suggested that I be very selective about who I told and for those who didn't support me, she suggested I be very firm and tell them that I understood their concerns but that this was a decision I have made for me and while I would like their support if they were not able to give it, then we would have to agree to disagree and move on.

Good luck!

Honey
I wish you nothing but Blessing in your journey and I can totally understand where you are coming from. I have not yet even told my father that I am going to do the WLS just because I know his attitude may bring me down so I applaud you for your courage!!!! But thinking its all about YOU never allow anyone even fam to steal your Joy!!!!
 
If he loves and cares for you then he will come around. And stay your Arse at home if you going come with some bs because you don’t need to be stressed!!   Maybe I need to take my own advice….lol

 Thanks for all your advice! I will try and let him know in a nice way. I said TRY but that aint no guarantee! LOL Ya'll pray for me!  

No it's not wrong at all.  Considering what you said your feelings are warranted.  My mom had the same reaction initially when I told her about my surgery.  However, I had to let her know that it was my life and I was doing what I thought best for me.  I talked to her about my heath issues and told her that my doctor's said if I didn't lose weight I'd be dead before my 40th birthday.  She still didn't agree but said if this is what you want to do, then so be it.  Intially I was like you and didn't want her there but then I realized that her feelings were coming from a place of love and fear.  I'm an only child so the prospect of losing her daughter scared her.  I also knew that there was no one in the world I wanted there more than her.  SO I told her mom I know you love me and I know you're scared but this is for my health and at the end of the day, I can't do it without you.  And I was right, she was my rock, she took off work, took care of my daughter cleaned my house, washed my clothes etc. 

Hey girl!  My husband started off negative too.  I explained to him that I needed to so this to make sure I stay healthy.  He finally came around once he realized that I wasn't gonna change my mind.  

You can make it through this and so will your father.