Venting...& embarassed of BIG extended family

My extended family is all VERY overweight - Mothers, Dad, sisters, brothers, etc/etc.  Some of us have done Weigh****chers together, Optifast, etc.  Everyone is _ALWAYS_ complaining about their weight BUT nobody has EVER stuck to anything.  UNTIL NOW - and it's ME!!!  We're all about a size 30/32, 26/28, etc.  I'm the only one losing.  They go to WW every week but then go out to eat afterwards (pie, hamburgers, fries, etc).

Over the weekend, I went out to dinner with them - it was t.o.t.a.l.l.y. embarassing.   They made a scene about the chairs not being big enough, they wanted a pitcher of drink (instead of glass by glass)  They eat off eachothers plates, order more, more, more, talked about other people (that lady is poured into that dress!, wow-he's a big man,  etc. etc.). They generally caused such a scene!  Sadly, reminded me of the KLUMPS!!! 

I ate my small portion of roasted chicken & veggies - - - and was DONE...((((((YEAH ME!!!))))) but throughout the ENTIRE meal, "are you sick", "what's wrong w/you", "you think you're better than us because you've lost a few pounds?!" "you're never going to lose weight if you're starving yourself"? "don't worry, this pie won't hurt you - it's only 1 piece".....blah/blah/blah...    They know that I'm really serious about this but on every hand, they keep trying to sabatoge me!   I feel horrible that I'm embarassed of them.

I don't know what my question is - just venting I guess but I'm feeling HORRIBLE because I don't want to go out w/them anymore.   Feel like their spirit is a LEAD BALLOON - I choose to have myself around people who are bright & positive!  I talked to my husband, he said they're just jealous.  That didn't help. 

Thanks for letting me vent. Advice welcomed. 

Awww - sorry that happened - but you are opening your eyes.

I had the same realization with my mother - that heffa STILL tries to sabatoge me.  KNOWING I am doing no red meat and no pork right now AND I told her about my BK Veggie burger trip - this woman brings SIX mini BK burgers with her to my house on Sunday when i did her hair - now if THAT ain't evil I don't know what IS!!!!

Try to find other things to do with them that are non food related, or minimize your contact.  They are not going to change - only YOU can decide how to work the situation.

Hello.

Maybe you do need to divorce yourself from family dinners.  Sometimes while we love our families, they can be toxic, I guess. 

That they are eating and behaving they way they are, they may not be trying to sabotage you, per se.  They seem to just be being themselves.  The thing is that now you are more cognizant of what's going on.  So, it may not be jealousy.  And if it IS jealousy, maybe they need to stop eating out after Weigh****chers meetings.

You know, before you mentions The Klumps, that was the first picture that jumped into my head. 
Its difficult NOT to feel horrible, but you have to do you.  Ultimately, this journey is your's to take, not your family's.  They are going to do them, regardless.  If you have to kinda distance yourself from them in order to continue on ur journey where dining out is concerned, then that's what you may have to do. 
You'll be fine, though.  :)

 

Yeah...sorry about that Anewme....I know that was rough for you.  I personally...try not to hang out with folks...even family that I know might try to sabotage me.  My number one rule....is that I will not go to ALL YOU CAN EAT restaurants. It just brings back so many bad memories and I can't stand to see the gluttony.  Hope things get better for you.... Lisa

seems like they only know one way of being. they need to be educated. i wouldnt blame you if you said you aint have the patience to deal with them cuz it won't be easy. but its apparent that they're ignorant....as in not knowing not the actin a fool 'ignant'.

It may be best for YOU to limit dining out with your family.  You could even tell them the truth.....that it is not good for you to be around them since you are trying so hard to lose weight for your health and you don't want to jeopardize what you have accomplished so far.  You don't even have to give them a reason, you can just decline any dinner invitations with them.  I'm sorry you are having to deal with this, it must be so hard.  You are doing great, do whatever you have to do for YOU!!  Good-Luck!!

I'm so sorry honnie-  I know how you feel to an extent though- I've had a similar experience.  This is why some doctors say people will get depressed afterward- you do have to have the support.  But you can support yourself, thats really all you need- you're husband sounds to be pretty supportive.  It's typically people don't understand and they could be slightly jealous. but it can be depressing to see other people eating, whether you're depressed because you can't, or you're depressed for what they are doing to themselves.  I would suggest trying to distance yourself till you're very stable and confident in your sucess.  Good luck honnie- we're all embarassed by our families in one way or another.  I'm sorry you have to go through this though!  It's probably not as bad from the outside looking in though just to let you know!  if that gives you any condolances!