OTQuestion: Those That Have Loss Someone Close

Lately I have been on a serious scary happy highs...BUT at the same time I have been feeling serious lows and really really really missing Casey (that is my grandchild that passed away at 8 months last August)...my daughter has been feeling the same way, REALLY missing her daughter and blaming herself 

However my daughter started an internship with the social services agency, and is doing very very well...this is an opportunity she would not have had if Casey were still with us, not to mention prior to Casey's death she was sinking in a very dark hole of depression and pretty much ****** off her life....now she is actually, believe it is in a better space in her life...I am very proud of her...she is doing very well at the "normal" thing

Casey was our first major loss....so dealing with these death things/emotions is all new for us

Crazy her death somehow made us both really look at life and appreciate it...be happy about it...but somehow there is still this lingering guilt and despair...that I can't explain

I was wondering if anyone out there that has lost someone felt the same way...do you feel guilty about being happy?

I know this might be a bit much today but.....whatever

It's very normal to feel gulity about being happy.  I miss my godsister - she was 40 and died a couple months ago - she has a 5 yr old daughter that she was THRILLED to have. 

I was gifted with my daughter by God -you know my story.  I feel gulity about being here and having her - when my godsister worked SO hard to have her life and tried so long for her daughter - now she's not here with her.  I just don't understand.

So - I feel you, man.  I really do. 

Crazy stuff dude.....crazy stuff

My dad died suddenly on a Friday the 13th.  It took a long time not to feel guilty.  But my dad was the good times dude - throwing a party, telling jokes, etc.. so I knew he wouldn't want me, my mom & sis to be down.

It hurts, and no matter how many people tell you they understand.  They don't.  Every relationship has different dymanics. Everyone grieves and hurts differently.  Me? I was the ONLY one in my family that didn't get to talk to him before he died - by the time I made it home, he was under (like a medically induced coma). They induced him that Wednesday night when he went in the hopsital (family told me to stay put, b/c they thought he was going to make it.  He died on the OR table just as they were about to cut him)  That's something I have to live with every day.

It gets better.  BUT, don't ru****  don't let ANYONE tell you to get over it - I had a coworker tell me that... I wasn't to punch that bytch.  The next year, her dad died and she was like she understood.

If you're feeling down, HONOR It - whether depression, lost of a loved one, whatever. Fighting it makes it worse - I'm not telling what I heard, I'm telling what I know.  When you feel down, think of the good -in this case, the good times you had with your grandbaby.  Take a walk down memory lane.  

Honor her life, but keep  living YOURS.

I know you may not think much of me - it doesn't matter.  I don't like seeing/reading that people are down.  Be encouraged, my sister!

I am almost "40" years old and have never lost a close love one, when my day comes I can ONLY imagine. I pretty much always offer my condolences and tell others I can only imagine how you are feeling.

Krazysexycool after reading your story I promise you make me want to call my daddy.

My thoughts and prayers to everyone on this thread!!

Wow

Is all I can say...thank you girl...and what is this talk of not thinking much of you?

Huh, what?  Momentary like of insanity...

But seroiusly.  Time heals all wounds... but you'll never forget her.  She may be physically dead, but she lives in your heart forever.

WOW KSK  sorry  about your dad  ya'll got me cryin early this morning

I totally understand how you feel.  Happiness translating into guilt, etc. 

There will always always be a sadness and void in your heart for your granddaughter.....but just live in the "moment" when happiness visits..........it doesn't stay long, it comes and goes.............the sadness will never leave.....so try not to feel guilty about feeling happy at times........I think it's just God's way of renewing our strength to get through the midnight hours that are so difficult.  I had to learn how to do this for sure.  My mother use to say "quit all that laughing, because in a minute you'll be crying".......that seemed to be so true in life..............if I got "too happy" surely something bad was getting ready to happen, and it usually did.........But over time I've learned to just "be in the moment" of feeling really good and really happy..............sadness and a heavy heart lie just around the corner......so hang in there and enjoy the happy moments that you have.............without guilt !  There's nothing wrong with that. 

dayummm Lady you are so RIGHT!!

Yeah I have been waiting, thinking that the other shoe is about to drop...I gotta stop that