Testimony Sunday - long..... but on my heart......

I don't normally do this - but if you will indulge me today, I thank you......

My brothers and sisters, be very happy when you are tested in different ways. You know that such testing of your faith produces endurance. Endure until your testing is over. Then you will be mature and complete, and you won't need anything. If any of you needs wisdom to know what you should do, you should ask God, and he will give it to you. God is generous to everyone and doesn't find fault with them. When you ask for something, don't have any doubts. James:1 2-6

When everything went down with my surgery last year, I was very upset, hurt, confused and mad.  My hopes were so high for my results and I prayed constantly beforehand, asked for God's guidance, his help, his wisdom.  I put myself in his hands and ended up with a result that was way less than what I wanted.  I felt God had shortchanged me, cheated me.  That he had ignored all the prayer, faithfulness and everything I had put in him - to me, he passed me over.

I struggled with that for a while.  I stopped going to church.  I stopped reading the Bible.  I was mad, yall - angry beyond belief - I wanted answers!  I did my part, how could God let me down?  I got jealous of others I saw go through surgeries with good results.  I started to get resentful - I couldn't even wish others well. 

After some time - months, in fact, I started to let it go.  I realized that I am ALIVE - God did not fail me - and what happened MUST be for some reason.  I can't understand WHAT that reason is - and I can't say I agree with it - but - it is what it is.  While I didn't get back into the Bible like I was before, I did open it.  And I went to church again after over 6 mos.  It wasn't exactly the same - I was still resentful, I still wanted to know WHY - but I had to keep going, and had to recognize the blessings I DO have.  After a while, I let the hard anger go, and decided to ask God to help me with Plan B - a revision.  

I started saving money and paying off debt agressively to allow me to have a down payment and get financing for a revision surgery, then I went and got consults done.  I found a doc to work with and his back office ended up getting my procedure approved through my insurance, so now the money I saved I can use to get the one other thing I want done - and then I will be finished with surgeries.

When they say you have to walk BLIND in faith - that means BLIND.  You don't get to question, you don't get advance notice, you never know what the plan is - you just have to know there IS one.  I don't know what will come of my surgery this go around, but I am doing what I have always done - everything *I* can do -  I know I HAVE to and CAN only leave the rest to God.  I have been brought to my bended knee a couple times in life by the sheer power of God's hand in my life - times when I thought there was no hope, no getting better, nothing good for me.  While I haven't gotten my blessings according to MY timeline - I tell you what - I have blessings!!!  And I thank GOD that he didn't turn his back on me when I got testy, when I was mad - I talked with him through it, and he brought me through.  I stand a humbled Child of the Almighty - HE has me in his hand ALWAYS!

Maybe you have things going on that are hard, don't seem right - thinking you have done everything you can, why isn't this getting better....... hold tight and standfast - it's going to work out - you're just buliding up your faith endurance - this right now is only a test of your emergency faith system!!!

Be blessed!!!! 

Thankyou Mack's,  my sister,  this was right on time !!!

Rev. Trina, great sermon today - I didn't need to attend worship at my church, because the Lord spoke to me...through you. Thanks for the scripture and thanks for the Word!

Stay encouraged, my sistah!

In the meantime, the doors of the church are now open...

DD

Sitting in one of the chairs Donna has set in front of the pulpit.
 
I was one of those who told YOU, Trina from day one that it will be okay, just be patient, BUT of course you didn't want to listen to me!!

**Jumping out the chair to run out the door** and run to my car to grab a drank!!

  Girl you know I am HARD HEADED!!!!!  LOL

I hear ya girl...but sometimes I think there really isn't a reason..shiot just happens

Thank you!!! Been there and I'm still needing to get back in church.  I got mad when after 8 years of remission, my fibromyalgia came back.  But  I know others with it - I'm sooo blessed.  I can work and take care of me - a lot can't.

As the old folks say... You can't have a TESTimony without the TEST!!!!

Halleloojha!  Da doors o' da church iz open... Won't you come? And please give to out building fund that's been going on since Harriett Tubman was a visitor.

Greetings from lurkersville. MM  your testimony was right on time. Thank you  for sharing.

I heard a long time ago...................A TRIAL is just a VICTORY waiting to happen !!  You held steadfast after you did all you could do.

Do you often tell your daughter "don't do this" or "do that" because.............................and she wants to know the "because what" part?  Yet, you just can't tell her the entire reasoning behind what you say or request because she's not mature enough, or just not ready, or it's just not the "season" to tell it all.  "Just do as I say" kinda thing.  Well, I totally believe that's the way God is with us...........................He's just not going to reveal the whole scoop to you or any of us......but to everything there is a season !!  You are really on your way this time to a VICTORY !!!

GET READY GET READY GET READY 

Trina, I am so there with you.  All great things happen in God's time...it took me awhile to learn that lesson as well.

But you perservered and He has brought you through it...AMEN!