Self Image vs Self Esteem

You know i've never thought about it like that....

That's whats up.....

"when my baby favah, barack  "

So you were the other woman???? LOL!!!

terms of the payoff agreement prevent me from acknowledging/denying that statement but er uh, those ears make great handles!

I miss you, Marlo ~smooches!

Mack Mama, I'm gonna put on front street... I have issues, but as many of you all pointed out, it's evident, lol..

I have bad both, but I have damn good self respect!  Now, a lotta people think I'm vain and stuck up - how? I feel like the lowest of the low.  Now, do I care how I look?  90% of the time I do. Moms always told me if you look good, you feel good - it works most of the time.

 I HATED me - you hear? Hated me.  It's better now. It's about learning to forgive myself.  Also, to stop paying attention to what others say about me. It's influenced me so much that I can't even think about what I think about me, nor can I even recognize my good qualities.  How does one feel a failure with 2 masters degrees? (Well, I'm not a doctor as planned, and anything less than that was a failure - I mostly forgive me for that - getting there.  And, I'm broke, but thank God I have a job that meets my needs, if not my wants).

I wasn't the popular girl -  from the time I started wearing glasses, I was teased and called names - Swamp Thing, Creature Feature, Street Frog, ugly, coke bottles, four eyes, etc... It STILL sits with me today.  It too****il last year for me to realize I'm not ugly - I was 33 dayum years old!!!  Now, I just think I'm plain or average (for the record, I know I'm photogenic, and I think I look better on pics than in person - though everyone else says it's the same, just that I have a sparkle in my eye on pics and not in real life).  But I did, however, have a better shape than most females.  And it was admitted to me by some they were jealous of said shape. (was told if I had better glasses... well, my parents couldn't afford Giselles, etc.  U got what was usually 2 for $99 - a pair and a spare or dressed better or got my hair done...but I cleaned up well when I needed to - see pics below).  Guys said it was b/c I turned them down - well, I couldn't date and I was trying to be cool!!

Also, I had/have an attitude problem.  Has it gotten better?  Indeed so.  But, so many people again pointed it out to me...  In my sane mind, I know I have a huge heart and sweet (but I'm like a bee- I'm sweet and complacent when left alone - but fugg with me and you're gonna get stung).  But when you've been teased, talked about, backstab, lied to, cheated on, don't know who to trust, you tend to get defensive.

It's getting better slowly.  Like I've said before - bad esteem as I had and as ugly as I think I was, I still went out. Now, I'm Henrietta the Hermit.  But I didn't have to contend with fat AND ugly.  It's gotten to be more than my soul can bear. But even with all my negativity, there's a lil voice that I struggle to hear, but it's there saying it'll all be better in the by and by (like the old church folk used to say)

So, here I stand.  This Is Me.  Take me as I am, or have nothing at all (I tell that to myself too).

Thanks for reading, sorry for the long post.




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Girl, you betta rock those Used jeans!!!

Hey KSK:

You can't wait til the "by and by" if you up in here. What if GOD decided that the Body you died wif is the one you gonna have in the sweet by and by...anyhoo. I see you ain't wearing them glasses, you got your eyes "fixed", you can get your Body fixed too. Hell, go for a 2fer...Body and Mind. Sometimes it is more important to correct the consequences (results) of messed up thinking THEN deal with the underlying causes. Because the consequences are about to "kill" a MoFo. EWF said "Free your Mind, Your Ass will follow;" well, sometimes because we get it ass backwards we have to DO It ass backwards, so "Free Your Ass and Your Mind will Follow!" Stop thinking so hard on this stuff and just "get'er done!"

It amazes me sometimes when someone Posts an Impersonal question and peeps start getting way personal, and avoid the question all together. Maybe if we sometimes tried to look at things "from a distance" and think about the question and respondsaccordingly we might be able to take back what someone else wrote and use it for Introspection. A person does not have to spill their guts to be real. Sometimes telling errything may be a sign of desperation, immaturity, indiscretion or a MoFo might just be as crazy as they told us they are. Who said, "When a person tells you WHO they are, believe them!"

Brandy, breathe before you answer... Breathe, woman, BREATHE!!!


Sometimes telling errything may be a sign of desperation, immaturity, indiscretion or a MoFo might just be as crazy as they told us they are.

Interesting...when you get that psych degree, holla @ a sista.  Don't have one?  Then roll up with the evaluation.  I at least minored in it. I wasn't asking for advice, was I?

2nd, while my post was longer, I wasn't the only one.  Also, there is NO testimony without the TEST.  You never know  - sometimes seeing that someone else has been where you been helps.  My life is pretty much an open book - what you see is what you get.  There's no skeletons in my closet, no shame to my game.  When someone can admit their faults and failings, rather than act like they don't exist, how in the hell is that a and I again quote " sign of desperation, immaturity, indiscretion or a MoFo might just be as crazy as they told us they are."???

Now, seems to me some like to try to belittle others to make themselves look/feel better.  Check yourself before you check others.  I'm not trying to start any mess, but do not come at me sideways.  You don't know me.

Opinions are like ******** everyone has one and some are just a$$es.

KSK:
There was nothing demeaning about what I said. READ it again and look Objectively. There was no attack. But I do know that a sign of low self esteem is thinking that YOU are being attacked, belittled...by others when there is nothing there. YOU self demean and belittle yourself enough, how do you want others to treat you...shoot, I thought I was being supportive. Anyway, I'm not into grunge, and I am a straight talker (No Sideways here). I understand that many people use this Board and other Boards for psychological analysis, and they put stuff out but can't take a response. They can only "play nice" if someone is cheerleading them. That's not my thing, I am more of a Coach.

BTW, I have 2 Degrees in Psychology, both Summ *** Laude (Undergrad and Masters; JD/MB *** Laude). This doesn't give me a right to try and "analyze" anyone. But being a free moral agent gives me a right to say what I want to.      I HOLLA!

Sweetie, did you not read my 1st post:

Maybe I need to make it clear:

I admitted to having low self esteem, low self confidence, low self image, but high self respect and to being defensive.

When you are REAL with yourself, can't no one tell you your shortcomings - I'm a FIRM believer in introspection - hell, I know what is and isn't in my life. And, having realized things about me, I've started working on me.

Again, I don't recall asking for an analysis or a response.  If I want therapy, I'd go to a professional, pay my co-pay, rap for 50 minutes ish, and keep it moving.  But thank you.