I have a question:

I DONT THINK I WILL EVER UNDERSTAND THIS!!

thanks for that input!

Welcome to my world, Nas. 

Well I guess I will jump right in here. I just signed on and saw the post.  The title was enticing enough for me to take a peek.

I agree wholeheartedly with what Sexy Ya Ya, Cookie and a few others mentioned about being secure in oneself.  If you are confident in who you are as a person, you have a tendency not to own other people's Bullshiot. I honestly have to tell you that I really hate this about our gender...that the cattiness, *****iness etc...is such a common phenomenon that its impossible for those that aren't not to fall within that category....or at least not be perceived as such initially.

I have to tell you that I personally stir clear of this type of personality and drama.  I mean its to the point that I actually treat many of my women family members with a (as my grandma would put it) long handled spoon.  I furthermore agree that a potent combination of hormones, low self esteem, don't have enough business of ones own virus, loose tongue syndrome and gotta have the gossip jumping off or I'll go into convulsions plague is enough to cause all kinds of issues when  it comes to woman to woman relationships.

My case and point, I love my mom dearly but she simply has too much time on her hands and not enough business of her own.  She lives with me "temporarily". Sometimes I will come down stairs and shes on the phone.  She gossiping about who did what to whom and why she hates this about that one.  I mean this is my own mama....love her to death...but I am quick to tell her that she has got to keep her nose in her own business and find something more productive to do with her time.  Its just so ugly to me...and needless to say...I don't tell my own mama anything that I don't want broadcasted.  Its just her  style...don't like it but shes set in her way.

This is why I choose my friends very carefully.  As a matter of fact, I have only two very close female friends....would trust them with my life.  As far as associates, I only socialize with women who have very high self esteem, doing their own thing and solid in their relationships with themselves and their man (not scared someone is there to steal him).  This is the reason I joined a sorority because I know that woman can be a very powerful force when united as one.  I am constantly doing good works and service with my sorority sisters...we spend time feeding the hungry, spreading the love at women's shelters, taking kids to camp etc....etc.... We socialize together...go to movies, go to parties, conferences etc etc....No drama kicks off in most of these interactions unless there is one or two who fall into the category I mentioned before....and when that occurs that person is quickly given a reality check...the majority ain't having it.  

In conclusion, LOL! It all comes down to who the woman is on the inside that leads to the viciousness and cattiness.                   

  Thanks.  I appreciate your voicing ur opinion

Most of my work life I worked in mostly male work places and sooner or later the woman that work with us will turn on each other. But there is always at least one man at work that is a bit*h and talk about everybody behind there back.

Competition and insecurity.  That's the reason.
Also this is not only a female phenom.  Men are just as catty and messy.  Sometimes men are messier than women.

I was the cattiest, evilest, smiling in your face dogging your ass out as soon as you semi-turned your back.  I was the fakest of the fakest back in the day.  Why.  Because I was insecure in who I was and I ran with a a crew that was just as insecure as I was.  It was all about competition.  Having to be the cutest, having the best clothes, having the most guy friends, etc.

As an adult, I changed big time.  I still have friends that will tear a ***** down in a hot ass second.  Their change hasn't come.  I stopped because I wanted a different karma in life. The more esteem I gained, the more positive I became and now I can give women compiments and see the beauty in others because I see it in myself.

I work with a lot of beautiful  young hispanic women and black women, very few men, even less that are in the same age range and single.  Cattiness and rumors are everywhere like the plague.  When people come up to me and ask me about it, my usual answer is "I dunno what you're talking about".  I keep out of that mess.  It messes up your karma.  It's really sad too see it, my job feels like high school.

(((((((((NIKKI)))))))))) NOW that's some real ish!!! 

Nikki,

This is not an indictment of women. I know that we as men can be just a effed up, luv.  I was specifically wondering about my sisters. 

I meant no harm. 

Oh I know that.  I wasn't implying that you are only attacking women.  It's a good question to ask.  I think women are more upfront and open about our cattiness, whereas men try to conceal theirs.  I think it's still the same reason though.  Hurt people do hurtful things.