Could you date...

So how did you feel after she dumped you?

LOL

What up Ayy Yo!!  Great text yesterday by the way. I was driving home from Wisconsin cracking the hell up.

You're a mess, I like it!

Oh I could never date her, Playa-Playa.  Her boobies are way too small for my tastes and everybody on BAF knows that "if you ain't got a big rack, Double_Ayy says step to the back..."   I like to hold my milkjuggs when I'm drinkin.


Fo really doe! 

Hey DA!

IMO, I believe it was ignorant on her part to think just because she dumped him that she is stopping herself from having children with "potential" disabilities.  Speaking from my experience, there is/was nothing "wrong" my me or the guy I was once married to and I have a son who is a special needs child.  He is not considered fully "special" but he will have difficulties all of his life with certain aspects of life.  He is strong is certain things and completely weak in others.  Please pass this on to her.  Thanks.

I agree.  Just because she eliminated this one guy doesn't mean that she's guaranteed herself a "potentially" so-called "perfect" child.

Let's keep it real:  It takes a lot of love to raise a child or children, but it takes an extra special person and a lot more love to raise children who have some sort of "issues."  My thing is why not look at all that this brotha has accomplished and use that as a guide to what he could bring to the table instead of the superficial shidd that don't matter down the line, like looks, height, weight, hair color or amount of hair, etc... 

Some people are just azz-holes who aren't worth the actual shidd that they put out.  

                                                                                                          (kicking the soap box away again...)

Well it takes you to have some very interesting posts. All jokes to the side...hmm I would hafta think about that one. I  guess I would have to give that one some deep deep thought, since I cannot date someone that I cannot hold an intelligent converstation with.

You know some men just want a "dumb blonde" type anyway...very fione but NO BRAINS...for me as long as this person has a 9-5 and make a resonable amount of money, can hold a good conversation in front of my friends, collegues and relatives and can cook, clean and empty the trash...HEY IT'S ON...

 @ ...can hold a good conversation in front of my friends, collegues and relatives and can cook, clean and empty the trash...

Well in that case I guess you'd better get used to dating a whole lot of women then cause ain't no nicca gonna do all that.  Work, make good money, hold a good conversation, clean and empty the trash...  Oh no!  Somebody done told you wrong. 

Well I can actually answer this question based on my own personal experience.  I had dated men on the whole continuum when it comes to education (high school drop out to Ph.d. and one lawyer) I fell in love and married a man that had dropped out of school in the Ninth grade. We were married 11 years and have two beautiful daughters.  I struggled throughout those whole 11 years because I thought that love could conquer all....well I am here to tell you that love is not enough to sustain a healthy relationship.  It had nothing to do with the fact that he dropped out of high school (nor as I later found out...had no real interest in pursuing higher education as a means to improve our family's life condition) or with the fact that he had an actual  learning disability or that I had my BA degree, finished my Masters and Started working on a Doctorate during our marriage BUT more to do with the fact that we simply were NOT compatible.  Had we given ourselves more time to really get to know each other, I am sure we would have never married.  When I was trying to help my ex study for his G.E.D. I am the one that discovered that he had a learning disability. he subsequently became frustrated with the whole process and gave up.  Well....not having productive things to focus his mind on...he started finding other ways to stimulate his mind....No not necessarily cheating because I have no proof ...but he was always doing mindless activities (hanging out all times of the night, started drinking excessively etc... When it came time for us to go to the Smithsonian or the Botanical Gardens ( My favs!!!) he had no time or no interest...and conversely I had no time or no interest to indulge in his hobbies.  Even though my ex husband and I are no longer together...we still have positive regard for one another.  Never would I even think to stick my nose down at him...first because I am not that type of person but second...I know he has a good heart and will always have love for him. But I had to end the relationship because it was killing me...I simply could not grow with him....and he could not grow with me because of over dependence.      

I think that this woman was wrong to dump the man just because she found out he had a learning disability...esp for an unfounded fear that they might have children with a similar issue. If she had done her research, she would know that not all learning disabilities have a genetic link...in some cases environmental factors play a part in whether a child ends up with a learning disability.  Now had they continued to date and they found out that they really had nothing in common...this would have been a more legitimate reason to drop home boy. The way I see it she did both of them a favor.  

If the shoe were on the other foot, I would want the person to be REAL with me.  In this case, even though it was jacked up...I can't fault the person for being honest.  I would much rather find out up front then to be in a so called relationship...and later find out that he can't stand me because he thinks I am dumb and will bore him dumb ass children.  In my view, that would be even more jacked up.    

I do believe there are times when that should be seriously considered, however I caution people because it is shaky ground to walk on and it must be considered carefully.  For example, they told Einstein that he was mentally challenged!  So consider the source. There are so many STUPID (not retarded, just plain stupid) and misinformed people in the world today that say the most ridiculous things.   I don't put my faith in that. Clearly this man was not retarded or she would be able to detect it.  Even though there are varying degrees of retardation, true retardation is relatively obvious and easy to spot.  We all have short comings and things that we don't do well, especially when we are children. This child may have had a simply learning disability that could have been easily treated or he may have been battling with outside issues unknown to that teacher that caused trauma based behavior. He might have been disassociating or as most people think of it, spacing out because of his trauma which can look like a kid is just mentally challenged.

So when is it valid to stop seeing a man because of his potential genetic problems?  My case!  My husband is Bio-Polar and has OCD. Our daughter has ADHD and some obsessive/compulsive tendencies which may be diagnosed as bio-polar and OCD disorder when she is an adult. Different spectrums on the same scale.  I knew his behavior was odd, but I didn’t know what it was until approximately two years into our marriage.  I saw far more OCD behavior than bio-polar behavior back then. When I started to know there was an issue, I was already pregnant.  We hadn’t dated long at all by the time we were married.  It wasn’t until I returned to University after our daughter was born did I know for sure.  I have a BS in clinical pshyc and in that first year, while studying disorder like this, did I have an aha moment. In my case, our daughter is so much like her father in every way. She looks like him, they have the same idiosyncrasies and some of the same likes and dislikes. It’s Pete and repeat, so to speak.  There are lots of other possibilities to consider before making such a drastic decision.  Time spent and conversations had are most important.

Hell yea I could date a chic if she was retarded. Specially if she had a big ole booty and nice brown frame.

All they do is slobber a lot, and Im into THAT!


Plus, some of the chics Ive dated in the past, I know DAMN well SOMETHING was wrong with them(or ME one).


Listen, Im 40 years ole, and I know that if you look hard enough-- there is something wrong with EVERYONE.


Dont trip.


QueDawg