Could you date...

Ayy yo,

Could you date someone who told you that they were once considered retarded in school?

A friend of mine ran this one by me the other day while were talking about people that we've both dated respectively in the past.  I told her that I've dated a few crazies in my day and she said that she was seeing a guy who told her that he was once considered uneducatibly mentally retarded in the 6th grade and that he had to struggle to rise about that stigma throughout his entire grammar school career.  She said she dumped him after his confession because she didn't want to put any of their "potential" children through that also. 

What about you fellow BAF'ers?  Do you think she was right for doing this?

Would you continue to see a person like this given the cir****tances? 

If you were in the other person's shoes would you feel that the right decision was being made here based on your confession regardless of their choice?

I think many black boys are given this "label"...(And some can never erase that stigma...)

(So based on what is said...I don't think she was wise for doing what she did.  IMO)

Morning, Birdman,

I agree with you.  However, I think I was a little more pissed that she lumped this dude in with the people that I called crazy.  Retarded doesn't mean crazy.







(kicking the soapbox away....)

The school system is jacked up!  They have a tendency to put labels on "us" rather than uplift, encourage and show us the skills needed to be successful.

So if he was able to rise above that stigma and be successful and productive, sure I would.  Obviously, she had no idea until he confessed.

 

Exactly.  She was totally into him until he said something.  See, I would've kept that shidd under wraps until our third child was born.  She'd shidd a brick but hey at that point who cares. 

Do you think she was right for doing this? No

Would you continue to see a person like this given the cir****tances?  Depends on what he is doing with his life now.  If he is still struggling mentally now, it would be difficult for me because I like debates and mental challenges from my partner and I just can't do dumb.  If he overcame that obstacle, I would give him credit where it was do.  If you can overcome that you can overcome a whole lot of things.

If you were in the other person's shoes would you feel that the right decision was being made here based on your confession regardless of their choice? Yes, I would feel like I was being discounted because of my past.  It would never work out if the other person was so judgemental and critical of me.  I couldn't do it.  She did him a favor by letting him go find someone who could appreciate him for who he is, not some label giving to him in elementary school.

I agree.  If he's still struggling now then there could be some issues but if he overcame it then more power to the brotha.

That is absolutely NO REASON to dump someone especially being honest about it. My spouse had a messed up childhood and so did I but we do not hold it against each other.

That's real love right there y'all.  Take notes, Family!

Thanks, G.

Hell, Let me be real honest with ya'll.  My a$$ could not recognize my letters till the 3rd grade and yes I was place in a Learning Disabled class for english.  I worked my ass up to catch up with my class. Still to this day I strugle with spelling and grammer.  However in a matter of 33 days to be exact I will be graduating from college which I completed in 4 years with a B.A in Psychology with a 3.7 gpa.  So I guess the question is would you date me?  I would!