Piggyback off DeDee's "What do you think BAF..." post.
Though I know ur know able to see this right now, DeDee, thanks for the good words, in that its actually gratifying to see that there are those that know / see the writing on the wall when it comes to black male/female relationships. And while there are plenty of good people of both sexes, so often those good people do get overlooked for whatever reason.
However, having said that, pardon my cynicsm, but some wouldn't know a good person if they fell out of the sky, wearing a cape, singing "Yankee Doodle Dandy" with a thumb stuck up their @$$ and landed right in front of them at the other person's feet.
I've seen episodes in which men and women who are trying to do the right thing get discarded like yesterday's garbage just because they didn't look a certain way or act a certain way or whatever.
Is there a solution for this? Who knows.
Then again, I'm just putting out my humble opinion. Feel free to discuss. Or not.
"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." Plutach. Not true, for there are always more worlds to conquer.
www.myspace.com/dalexis863
Its funny you should mention the thug thing. Yesterday, while at lunch, a few of us were watching some judge show, I forget which one. There was this case in which this woman was suing her ex-hubby who used to beat the holy hell out of her on the regular. Come to find out during testimony, she had a history of being with "thuggish" types who would put her thru hell on the regular.
So, my co-workers and I are discussing the attraction to this type. One woman said that when she was younger, the attraction was the sense of "... excitement..."; that they offered her that daring life that a "good guy" could never give her because they were boring. Another said that she felt protected by them. Still, a third agreed that while it is often the illusion of protection, sometimes the inside isn't as appealing as the outside sometimes is.
I know it is up to the individual and their personal tastes, but if I hear one more complain about the "lack of good black men..." out here, I think I will have an all-out, natural born fit. LOL.
"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." Plutach. Not true, for there are always more worlds to conquer.
www.myspace.com/dalexis863
I think you have to let people live their lives. You only have one life and you have to live it the way you see fit and do what makes you happy. People from the outside looking in don't always understand why you are making the decisions you make but you know what is right for you. Just because you do not choose to date a particular "nice guy/girl" doesn't make him/her any less nice or you wrong or stupid for choosing to move on. No one is perfect (yes even nice people) and it could be those imperfections that may be something you cannot live with. When its time to move on its time. It doesn't mean you don't want a happy and healthy relationship. I also think sometimes people use the wrong word when describing someone. Sometimes nice guys/girls can be a little BORING. So are you supposed to stay with this boring person because they are nice? I know I cannot. If I am BORED I am done. I don't care how nice you are. Does it mean I want a bad boy? Not at all. I just want someone who is more on my level as far as interests and goals. I don't know if any of this makes sense but that is my take on it.
"Real change comes from within"
I happen to believe that there are an abundance of good men, but just because a man is "good" doesn't mean that he is the "good man" for you.
People automatically assume....he's good, I'm good....we're a match made in heaven. Not so.
