BAF what say you???

i am a family atty and deal with this issue all the time.

vistation should not be a bargaining tool.   denying visitation due to nonpayment only hurts the child and really is a silly notion in my opinion.  most states do not even contingent visitation on payment of child support.

there are other means 2 enforce a child support order.  a person can be jailed and fined for not paying child support.

i also believe in enforcing possession orders. i have had a number of people jailed for trying 2 hold a child hostage.

very interesting. Do you find if a parent is not paying child support is this an indication that the parent may be irresponsible? And if so is it in the child's best interest to be with an irresponsible parent?

My son will be 10 in a month. In those 10 years I have received exactly $50 in child support - get this - all in the last month. That's right, nothing for all these years and then 2 checks which total around $50, probably the last I will see cause he is not working again. Still, I have never denied him access to his child. Now, he has denied himself access, but I keep pushing for a relationship. So much so that I reached out to his girlfriend on FB to reunite them after over 5 years of no contact. To be honest, I have always valued the relationship between father and child over the money and I told him in the beginning that if he would just be there consistently I would never take him to court for child support. We see how well that worked out though, he owes over $20,000 in arrears.

I agree with Amanda I have never denied my twins their father, he has denied his self relationship with them. He is a father when he want to.He was 23,000 in arrears but he win a Workman comp settles and I got my 23 k before he got anything. The boys are 12 yrs now since he know I got that money he want to be a father and I allow in their lives because they do love him and but the same times they know that when he doesn't want to be bother he is going to disappear again. Please don't let money be the reason you don't let children see their father. That relationship mean more than money.

what is arrears

Arrears = back support = money they owe but haven't paid, in my case 9 1/2 years worth.

Hi Andrea,

I tried to stay away from this thread but I could not help myself.  It would depend on if the guy is taking his child to an unstable environment for visitations. Otherwise, I would not hold it against him for nonpayment.  However, when you have a guy who does not bother to pay child support and does not bother to have any contact with their children it pretty dayum ridiculous.

yes.  they're unrelated.  my thing is that my child isn't going to grow up with even the hint of the impression that i'm what stood between she and her father.  if she don't know him, that's his loss and his fault but ain't nobody loud talkin me.

apple arrears is the legal term for the amount of money an individual is delinquent in paying (not just in relation to child support, anything)

faith ^5 gurl my pressha shot up for a sec LOL!

LOL sorry Marlo and Faith to get your blood pressure up. I was just trying to wake the board up and get some dialog going.