I deserve better.......

Have you had this revelation since WLS?  There are some of us who change a bit mentally following WLS as we shed the pounds, we grow our self esteem and gain some self awareness that wasn't there before. 

This can affect relationships drastically.  Have you stood up or showed out on some behaviors or treatment you previously let slide?  Things that you tolerated before but now - it ain't gonna cut it?

I can't COUNT the number of times I have used the phrase "you think you f__king with that fat biotch again, don't you?"  when bullcrap comes up - it's my all purpose billyclub in arguments! LOL

Now granted, this is only for SOME - others of us had full sense of self and were totally secure and cool before and after WLS - but there are SOME of us who weren't - so - is this a change you notice and if so - do you think it's for the best or are you trying to get a 'handle' on it?

Ok I am pre-op but I have found that as I age and mature that determines what I will or will not stand for. For me going through certain situations makes me more aware of the red flags that cause me to say this is not the person for me. I am very independent and I have no problem moving on if a situation is not working for me. Life is to short to do the drama and to waste my time. Because my time is valuable.

you took the words right out of my mouth.  There are plenty of skinty, dumb ass door mats.  I hate that people buy into the fat = low self esteem stereotype.

and that's understandable - as I stated in my post, SOME folk are like this - however SOME are not - so that's why I posed the question. 

Good for you for being independent and not having the drama!  Good job!

Hi MM!

I totally get where you are coming from.  Speaking for myself, it is definitely for the better.  I used to be a door mat that people could just wipe all their S**T off on. I would take all kind of crazy stuff off of people.  I don't think the change had as much to do with my WLS but more with my maturing as a person.  I realized that I was putting others up on a pedestal and deminishing my own self worth...thus would let all that crap occur.  I am a product of the housing project of HotSprings, Arkansas....growing up...we were always told that we were not going to amount to anything, weren't worth anything Bla Bla Bla Bla....I mean when you hear it enough..you start to believe it. Well I feel like I am just as good as the next person...therefore I will not stand to be anyones door mat. I also find myself advocating for others who don't have the mind set to do it for themselves. I just hate to see people mistreated and I most definitely am not going to let anyone mistreat me. 

In terms of getting a handle on it.  I basically think there is no need as long as we are being true to ourselves.  I mean in your example above...you are obviously using that tone with people that know you personally and reflecting on some of your earlier posts...you seem to have a very charismatic personality....what wrong with being yourself and at the same time advocating for yourself.  Now if you are saying that to to someone you don't know...I just might try to use a little more neutral tone...LOL! They just might think you crazy  Hope you are having a good day otherwise.   

hey lady!!!!  you TOTALLY get where I was coming from with this!!!  Yea - I'm older and matured but there are some ways in which WLS has changed me - permanently.  And I would NOT be the person I am today had I not had WLS and lost the weight I have - that's JUST me!!!! 

And congrats to you for seeing that in yourself so you can capitalize on it!  such a big part of this journey is MENTAL - and no matter the WHY - it's knowing and seeing those changes that makes ALL the difference!!!

Keep on doing YOU!!!!

 

I agree with Andrea.  Any changes I have had have come from maturity...not WLS.

I personally like this new me...think it was for the best and wouldn't change a thing!

Thank you Kim the key word is "MATURITY" not losing weight.

Didn't I say that the weight loss is the case for SOME people?  By not listing other factors such as they key word, MATURITY, doesn't mean they are excluded as possiblities.  The word some by definition allows other factors - my post was meant for those for whom it HAS been a factor. 

Thanks for the reply tho!

Age, experience and maturity (key word here:MATURITY) has more to do with not taking chiot that anything else.  By the same token, it often teaches you to calm down sometimes... very often taking the high road when, in the past, you WOULD have done the stupid-acting thing.

No, Trina, it ain't necessarily weight loss that does it, though if it DOES work for you BECAUSE of weight loss and newly found confidence, God bless u.  :)