It's not that I don't believe in God...

I was not all raised in church...both of my parents had it shoved down their throats, so they never made it a priority for us at all. I still struggle, but I am yet and still finding my way on my own. Over the last probably 6-7 years I have been through some ISH and at times just got beat the ***** down...and I am still here. I have had heartbreaks and losses and made some dumb mistakes on my own, but I am still here, still kickin', and on the rise. In my own case I think God broke me down so I would PAY ATTENTION and see just what He can do. There are too many things I have been through that should have probably turned out differently than they did...at least viewed through *our* eyes. Positive things have happened in my life with the most incredible timing...THAT is how I know He is there. I also look around me at some of the people most important to me, and how they came into my life. I believe that is Him as well. I don't believe there is anything 'wrong' with you at all...you are just on your own journey. As long as you are seeking you will get 'there'. I am still on my way myself.

I don't believe there is anything 'wrong' with you at all...you are just on your own journey. As long as you are seeking you will get 'there'.


 Co-signing. 

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."      
                                       ~ Matthew 7:7

Why do you believe in God?
Basically...because of Jesus.

Why do you love Him?
Basically...because of Jesus.

Why do you follow Him?
Basically...because of Jesus.

Why don't I?
Make a committment to know and understand Jesus of the Bible better.

Jesus in a conversation with some "religious folks" once said, "You search the Scriptures... because in them you think you have eternal life.  But these are the Scriptures that testify of Me...and you refuse to come to me for life."

I'm praying for you on your journey Angela!!!

Well Said Bro Doug!!!

JESUS!!

Have you ever been in a situation and didn't know how you were gonna make it through and all of the sudden you had a breakthrough? It came out of NO WHERE and now its working in your favor!  BLAME IT ON THE LORD

Have you ever needed something or someone and no one else was there. You heard a sound in your head telling you that he's here! BLAME IT ON THE LORD..

See for me he's the reason for any success or failure in my life and when I fail he shows me why I failed and how its gonna benefit me in the long run. It had to be him and no one else..

BLAME IT ON YASELF
BLAME IT ON YA JOB
BLAME IT ON YA MAMMA
BLAME IT ON YA DADDYYYY
BLAME IT ON JESSSSSUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Well, I imagine I will add my two cents here as well. And I do need to say that these are my own personal beliefs. To my knowledge,no one has ever seen God per se. I also know that we live in a patriarchal society where men in history have created an image of God as being male. I was raised to believe that God had long stringy hair and blue eyes and that he was a punishing God.  This is just the way I was raised.  I, too, suffered severe & traumatic sexual and emotional abuse as a child and often wondered what I had done to deserve God's punishment.  I imagine this is why I turned inward psychologically and tortured myself as a glutton of food.  It was the only thing that I had any control over in my life.  At one point, I was angry with God for letting me endure such a nightmarish existence. I started to question his existence and created a vicious cycle of anger, guilt, acceptance and redemption for feeling this way.... in and out of churches my whole life.  Never really felt a part...even to this day...still looking for the Utopian church home...where I can find peace....still looking.  For now I find this peace out in nature....taking walks in the parks or going to botanical gardens...I love being next to things of nature...thats also God.

Well, somewhere along the way, I separated myself from the religious and started to lean on my spirituality.  One thing I know for certain....there is someone or something that exists out there that is greater than myself...I refer to as God.  God comes in many forms for me.  I just use the term he out of habit but I know not the Gender or if it has a gender.  Most times I see God in the form of my deceased grandmother or my sister who has been missing since 1985 (last seen walking home from school when she was 16 years old).  They inspire me and lift me up.  I know that they loved me unconditionally and they give me strength everyday. They give me conscience to do the right things. I know that I have a purpose and that it was given divinely...otherwise I would have been dead a long time ago.  By all accounts, I have come close  to death many times. And yet...here I am...with two beautiful daughters...I am the first person in my family to go to college...ever...and I yet I am now working on a doctoral degree in Education. I am involved heavily in community service and believe in helping others...yet for so long I could not help myself.

I personally don't trust much that mankind has put their hands on.  While I love reading the bible and it gives me strenght by reading the stories ( I know there a lot of  truth there)..yet I can't help but wonder who has tampered with it over all these many years. I can't give it full authority over my life because of this trust issue. 

I believe my God knows my heart and I will not be punished for not trusting some of these things.  So for me, my relationship with my God is very very personal...it is not one that I even put up against what someones elses view of God might be.  I believe that Faith in something is always a good thing...and that all will be judged by their faith alone and not by who they give it to.. I don't just anyones religious or spiritual beliefs...no ones.  As long as I am not hurting anyone...I believe I will always be favored.

Lastly, I do believe in Jesus...because again...I believe in that level of faith.  It took an extraordinary amount of faith to die on the cross for his beliefs.  How many of us would do that...

Thanks for the very thought provoking post. I pray you find the answers you seek   

I have to tell you I so agree with you all things people title religous is not of God.  Man has made so many traditions and rituals that I am very weary of organized religion.  I know I seek and God shows me what I should know and I also seek inspiration from the scriptures.  When someone ask me what religion I am I alway say I am what Jesus called his people  a child of God, chrisitan, disiple, etc.  I believe things should be done decent and in order but you have to be deligent in seeking the truth.  Man has corupted so many things you can't help but lean on God alone. 

I made a conscious decision to believe.  I had no concrete proof.  My world just made a lot more sense if God existed.  At first I believed just a little bit.  Then I believed a little bit more.  It continues to grow and develop. 

Has my faith ever wavered?  Yes.  Do I ever question things?  Sometimes.  Still, I think about the alternative.  What if there was no God?  That would mean that what we can see right now is all there is.  I want more.  God offers hope that I can be more than I am right now. 

 

The love of God comforts me when things aren’t going great.  When good things happen, I have a place to focus my gratitude.  God is the ultimate model of unselfish love.  He gave His own child so that I could be saved.  God is a provider. 

 

One story - - I once left a job without knowing where my next dime would come from.  I was being harassed there and too stressed to focus on my studies.  It got so bad that I started having physical symptoms ~ hives, gastric reflux, headaches, etc.  I also owed the school a big chunk of change, so I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I searched the scriptures and prayed hard about it. I was particularly drawn to a Proverb that speaks about how the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.  There was no “logic" in my decision.  I’d done as much as I could and decided to give it to God.  I walked on my faith that day when I walked off that job.  I guess that’s what has helped to cement my belief.  It’s one thing to “say" you believe, but another thing entirely to stick your neck out and trust God to have your back.  I have to say, God came through for me.  I had a little bit of money left in my pocket and I went to pay on my bill.  The lady in the office told me that I didn’t owe anything.  In fact, I had EXTRA MONEY in my account and they would be cutting a check to give me.  To this day I have no idea where that money came from.  Some might try to explain it away as an accounting error, but the exact same thing happened to me a couple of years later at a different university.     

 

I’ve had many things happen in my life that defy explanation.  I’ve survived things that would have broken many.  It has taught me empathy for those who suffer.  I should have been dead more than once, but I’m still here. 

 

In the life to come, I hope to be transformed into an immortal being and reunited with all the people that I have loved and lost.  I want to look into the face of the Creator of the universe and have Him smile at me.  I want to spend eternity in a place filled with love and light and never feel pain or loss ever again. 

 

If I can have all of that by simply choosing to believe, it sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

 

If I NEVER tell you anything or say anything to you.....

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

This was so beautiful to me!!!!!