PIGGY BACK OF MACK MAMMA'S POST...."HOW DO YOU DEAL W/ A LADY WHO...

LADIES AND GENTS...

How do you deal w/ that? Fellas is there like a blueprint somewhere about this? How do you handle this if it is thrown in your face a couple of times? How do you deal w/ it? Do you deal w/ it? Would you deal w/ it?

Ladies what should a man do about it? If he wants to stay and he's feeling her should he stay in the situation? How should he address it?

Since we talking about this type of stuff whats good?

You discuss money but don't go into detail about it.  At the beginning of our marriage I made less money than him and as time went on I began to make more than him but... he didn't know when that shift was made.  We have a yours, mine and ours setup where we both contribute X number of dollars to the household bill account.  This works for us because of our money management styles. Because of this setup he never had to know how much I made.  You would think he would know from signing the joint tax returns but he never looked at them... he just signed them after I completed them.  He finally found out how much I was making when we had to do a full financial disclosure when we adopted our kids.  Things have not been the same... he always thinks I have something stashed somewhere.  I do not like discussing money with men...so I avoid it like the plague. 

I was complaining to my husband last week about how annoyed I was about two people asking me about my job on the same day.  My husband told me he doesn't know what I do at work either and doesn't know what to tell people when they ask. 

One of my grandma's rules... Never tell a man all your business. 

 Tsunami, I think I like your grandma's rule.    Now, if only I read read this post this morning before I left the house.    Oh well... too late now.  

 Just kidding, kinda.  My momma told all of us girls to have your own money somewhere.  "Never know what will happen."  I don't know exactly who listened and who didn't, but I try to always have a back up plan, even when I'm broke. 

My mother told us that you can never depend on a man so always have your own money.  Sad but true if you looked at it from her perspective. My father become a very unreliable man over time.   Thank goodness I know when to follow that advice and when to disregard it.  I wasn't going to punish all men for the mistakes of some.  You just have to learn to read the signs. 

So if he can't tell you what you spend 8 hours doing?? I'm lost on that one. I'd have to know, simply b/c i'm interested in your life. Feel me?

About the "telling a man all your business" isn't that kinda sorta living a lie through Omission?

Hmmm - this is interesting...... cause until now I haven't been with a dude that could handle not being the breadwinner.  And in the beginning of our relationship, he was the breadwinner then had some serious bad luck and went to being bascially dirt broke.  He's getting on his feet now - but it's been rough...... and I can tell he's really struggling - like watching me get a new car, new stuff for the house and go on trips when he is struggling.  I don't rub things in but I don't try to hide them either - and I surely don't do less for me just cause he can't do the same for himself. 

Now - I had an ex that threw it in MY face all the time - like we would go out to eat and he would say "Since you make twice as much as me, YOU should pay, big balla" and shiot like that - It was because he asked me how much I made and I answered - not knowing that I was opening up Pandora's box of shiotty azz comments......lol

I mostly don't say anything - but since we are talking about being married and he is talking about buying a BMW when he gets a lil change - I'm fo SHO speaking up since that note will make it into OUR house..... so we are beginning to have the US discussions vs. what *I* am about to do....

Hey - I am rambling - what the hell was the question again????  LOL  I am going off on what Highly Favored just said..... but now re-reading your post- I don't think I got the right question!!!!!  LMAOOOOO

 

 

See,
So in other words he can't get the *BMW* b/c he can't afford to pay for it on his own? If yall together aren't you both getting this? I'm lost.....

And when did THA MACK start w/ this settling down mess again...

Mess around and find a heart in that body of urs huh!

Mayn - lookee here - I am all for his BMW *IF* the cost of that mofo ain't coming out of my Coach budget!!!  LOL - but I am the one making the lion's share - and *I* ain't driving a Beemer!!!  That's not gonna fly with me - I am NOT going to foot the bill for some OTHER mofo's 'Mackness'!  I'll be damned!!!!  I bought matching cars for me and a boyfriend years ago and let him have the upgraded model with all the bells and whistles - that fool dogged the heck outta it AND me - NEVER again!!!  not tha Mack!!!!  LOL 

I got a sensible car - yes - it's and Infiniti but the maintenance and upkeep is manageable and the note is very reasonable.  If he made BMW money and I felt like I could carry it if I had to - then cool - but not right now!  LOL  He needs more 'feathers' in the mattress before he lays on THAT bed - ya dig??  LOL

and YES - the Mack is on the road to matrimony!!!  And I am chiming in on these relationship questions on purpose to 'get my head right'...... LOL  this is SO different!!!!!!

Yes, i do feel you on that and hopefully he feels you as well....i'm sure he will

but let me ask you this...is he paying for some b/s that some other lame put you through?

I do understand where you stand w/ the $$$ situation but let me ask you this if the shoe was on the other foot and you wanted a BMW would he be wrong for not doing it? Even though he might not be making the $$ you make isn't he bringing other good things to the table that make him worth it?

I'm just saying...

if he can't get a BMW get him a 300 and put some 22's on it or something.... or an old lac or something...man gotta ride clean...

He is not paying for b/s from another man - I did realize tho that I need to put ME first - and no matter what - I gotta be able to take care of ME and MINE..... so - not a BMW but the M-class Infiniti is just fine - still better than my G-class Infiniti - or one of the Lexus models - just something without maintenance that tears up the wallet cause he hasn't had solid income in over two years - I am very wary of putting too many bills on us just starting out - if he could work up to get a down payment that would lower things - then it would be cool.  But homie hasn't kept the same gig for over 90 days in the past two years for finding something else or getting laid off - I am too damn nervous to get a big car note with that!!!  Forget what you say - that ain't me being all 'manish' that's just me being sensible!!!!  Now - go back to the days when the subprime was in full swing and he was pullin six figures like rain?  Shhhiiiiittttt - BMW all day baby!!!!  LOL

and no - if the tables were turned I would not expect him to put me in something that could break the bank - HOWEVER - I do feel a man should not outshine or have better than his wife/mate.  that's like women who walk around fresh out the salon while their child's head looks like Buckwheat!!!  LMAO