OT: One brother's take on Black women........

The problem  is that for one person to be submissive, the other person has to be worthy of submission.  So these men, who are quick to throw out that submit bible lingo are the same jokers that don't make any money, won't help around the house, wanna go out and do what they want to do constantly with no regard to you, can't figure out how to pay bills (I mean administratively) and just in general don't have a plan....the list can go on and on.   

Also, they are confused about the term.  Submitting means allowing the man to make decisions that are best for the family...more like consenting.     They take the term "submit" and turn it into...she should do everything I say and not give me any lip.  They are also frequently the same type of men that believe that child support is a ripoff.   

Also NEWSFLA**** says WIVES submit to your HUSBANDS.  Half these jokers wanna date for 10 years and not make committments.

They also, frequently forget the rest of that group of scriptures that instructs them that they should love their wives the way that Christ loves the church.  I willing to bet that most of them wont' and don't do that. 

I bet that 90% of women would "submit" if they found a  husband that they thought was going to make the best decisions for their family and that they trusted. 

I'm reading all these posts about man being worthy of being "submissive" to.. and there are great points being made. 

Having said that, yes, I may have to earn the right to be submitted to, but, by the same token, that works both ways.  There are some women who take independence to mean "bullying" or "berating"  or "emasculating". 

eta:
Okay. 
In some of these posts, I see directives/descriptions on what a man's role should be in terms of earning "submission".   I failed to have seen any posts discussing what a woman's role should be in this equation.  For a man (and I'm NOT saying this is wrong) he must respect, protect, help build and maintain the marriage/relationship. 
On the other end up the spectrum, just for discussion sake, what should the woman be contributing to the union?  I ask because there are those who seem to believe that is is enough simple be there or be a receptacle for sex. 

Comments are welcomed. 

Ahh But D I think I did outline both sets of responsibilities and sex was also something I left out along side of cooking, cleaning and serving him his plate.  We both serve each other in a variety of ways.  As women we do have the responsibility of using restraint - all that emasculation is just not sexy. Independance and being bitter and alone is very different. If I felt the need to deal with a man in that manner I believe that I would not stay with him.   The best couples are  worthy of each other's love and dedication.  We should all show our appreciation.  We don't just "need" any man in our lives but most of us "want" a good man in our lives.   And "good" man or woman is subjective to each person.  I think most people will slip into the roles they were either raised with or are most comfortable with when they find the right partner

Personally I agree with Fatoosh, there is NOTHING wrong with being submissive and independent. Submission SHOULD be earned, if a man KNOW HIS ROLE as a MAN then there is nothing wrong with a woman being submissive.   In most successful marriages household chores are shared, meaning men share cooking, cleaning, and other housework, if a man does not know how to cook he should learn, if he does not know how to clean he should learn and vise versa for a woman.

Being a MAN is supporting his family and his household, treating his woman with respect, not cheating on her, doing things around the house, spending quality time with his kids, protecting his family, not being intimidated if his wife makes more money than he do. I believe a GOOD STRONG marriage both parties SHOULD share a joint account -- and BOTH parties should put money together and this takes away from WHO IS MAKING MORE THAN WHO...and this makes the man feel less inferior if his wife makes more money, because most men WANT to make more money that his women whether he admits or not.

How the money is spent in the household should be discussed and agreed upon; if there is a LACK of TRUST factor in the relationship SHARING MONEY WILL NOT WORK. If your man/woman has to hangout in the clubs and with the boys/girls every weekend and must have "cheat" money, then SHARING money will not work; if your man/woman wants to KEEP their most of their money a secret, then SHARING MONEY will not work.

If you cannot track  where MOST of the money is going  from your spouse, IMO; that relationship is not a good one.

my $.02:  the religious example i've heard uses Adam and Eve.   when God gave instructions not to eat the apple, He was talking to Adam because (where marriage is concerned) the agreement/covenant of the trinity is structured like this:  (1) God guides and teaches man (2) man guides and teaches woman and (3) together, they teach (and lead) the family back to God.    When she takes a bite of the apple, God still address his comments to Adam, even though it was Eve who disobeyed Him.   whether you believe this version or not, the man is the head of the household, it's not a matter of submission or "giving" him his place or "allowing" him to lead, it's already written as his place.  tell me if i need to go to the cosby show vault where elvin is trippin cuz claire is bout to serve cliff some tea. 


the interesting footnote though is that woman is the neck.   there's no need to bicker about who the "leader" is, in a God-fearing household, the leader is God, in a non-God fearing household, it's still God, even if you don't acknowledge it but in case it's still up for debate, try moving your head without moving your neck.