OT: One brother's take on Black women........
This is the perfect one for this...one of my favorites from my girl Jill Scott.
Jill Scott The Fact is (i Need You) Lyrics:
I can pay my own light bill baby
Pump my own gas in my own car
I can buy my own shoe collection
I've been blessed thus far
I can kill the spider above my bed
Although it's hard because I'm scared
I can even stain and polyurethane
But some things just don't change
I need you yeah
Sometimes so hard to say oh
I need you
Some things remain
I could buy my own groceries baby
Get my hair tight, my nails right
I can floss my own bling bling
Write the words to the songs I sing
I can even raise the child we'll make
Make sure he's loved and
knows what God gave us
I can teach him how to walk and stand
But he needs you to help him be a man
We need you
So hard to say
We need you
Some things don't change
I could be congresswoman
Or a garbage woman or
Police officer, or a carpenter
I could be a doctor and a
lawyer and a mother and a
good girl
God what you've done to me
Kind of lover I could be
I could be a computer
analyst, the Queen with the
nappy hair raising her fist
Or I could be much more
and a myriad of this
Hot as the summer, sweet
as the first kiss
And even though I can do all these things
I need you
And even though I can do all these things
We need you
We need you
We need you
And even though I can do
all these things by my
damn self
I need you
I do, I do, I do, I do
And even though I can do all these things
I need you
We need you
We do
We need you yeah
We need you
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. - Oprah Winfrey
Ya know, at first I was gonna bypass this posting, but, uh uh.
First of all, its not about being submissive or subservient. It SHOULD be about a partnership.
Yes, this is a world where there are more black men in the prisons than on college campuses these days, thus the reason there are black women in better positions to make more money and, thus, "pay the cost to be the boss".
That said, there are a couple of things at work here. Someone mentioned "most men.." wanting to be mothered. Question: if these "men" want to be mothered, who, exactly puts that into their heads if NOT their mothers? I've seen situations in which some (not ALL, but SOME ) mothers treat their boys more like they are catering to their MAN than raising a son. So, if he grows up thinking all women are supposed to cater to him like his momma did, why wonder? Now, I know the argument is going to be, "I can't teach a boy to be a man.." Granted, but one CAN teach a young boy to be a responsible adult.
In terms of the submission thing, we are in a situation where both genders bump heads in search of "superiority". When I was married, my wife was the type who wanted to be the boss even though she DIDN'T pay the cost to be so (at the time, I clearly made more than she did). My mistake was in being quiet just to get along. However, I was not raised in a household where my father was made to shut up and know his place; my mother was/ is dominant but, not bossy. There IS a difference. What is the diff? Mom ran the household, granted, but with her it wasn't' a matter of tying to punk my father as so many sisters seem to do with some of these guys these days.
The solution, in my humble opinion? My brothers need to step up their game. Not by being bossy/abusive/domineering, but by asserting yourself as the MAN in a relationship. Being responsible, dependable, protective..whatever it takes.
As for the sisters? No man wants a woman who is going to try to walk all over him. Forget about that "I don't need a man to take care of me" crap. A REAL man isn't looking to dominate or "take care" so to speak. He is looking for, in my humble opinion, someone who help him establish and maintain this relationship; someone on whom he can depend to have his back as well as have her back; someone who isn't going to see ANY of his human frailties as a "weakness" and label him "soft".
As for Mr. Traditional's assertion that they want to be "rulers", I maintain that some feel they HAVE to rule and are so used to doing so due to dealing with jackass guys, when they finally run into a MAN, its difficult NOT to see this gentleman like every other ass she's dealt with.
Sisters, there is more to letting a man be a man than fixing his plate and cooking for him. Hell, I can do that for myself. There is nothing wrong with a woman being independent...however, "independence" does NOT mean "emasculating". Fellas, being the "Man" DOES not mean being abusive, controlling or any of the other negative images connected with that.
******drops the mic and leaves the stage for the next perfomer********
"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." Plutach. Not true, for there are always more worlds to conquer.
www.myspace.com/dalexis863
"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." Plutach. Not true, for there are always more worlds to conquer.
www.myspace.com/dalexis863
on 3/16/09 3:19 am
I appreciate getting a man's opinion on this topic. I can sit around with my girlfriend's all day long and we can talk about what we 'think' a man wants, and what makes us desirable. And my Dad, is great but from a different generation, so I guess I just want to thank you for giving me some insight into how men view relationships.
You said that D there is wayyyyyyy more to it than that mess....its a good thing don't get me wrong but you gotta be bringing more to the table than that now a days....I can fix my own plate...hell i can cook my own food, Mamma didin't raise no punk...
Some women also think that sex game gonna make a man "act right" too....gonna take more than some ass to get the right man in!!
