OT: One brother's take on Black women........

if only your husband not your boyfriend - how does he ever become a husband?  don't you have to show and prove before you get to the marriage part?  How would a brother know you can be that way if you don't show it beforehand?

Great point!

Good point, Mack.  Maybe his might be able to see past the exterior and tell that is is CAPABLE of being that for him.  However, most of us don't delve past the surface.  If its not in our face, we're usually not looking for it. 

Women, I think, on the other hand delve under the surface more often.  Thus u are probably better able to see when a guy is full of it, than when / if a woman is.    I guess, for better or worse, we're kinda superficial that way. 

Go figure. lol

But that goes what what people always say about having a "representative" like MM says....

If you don't give yourself time to know who that person trully is and learn to look past there representative then your cheating yourself....right MM?

VERY true Baker - you can start with the representative - but that mofo only stay on the job but for so long!  LOL - your true colors WILL show and when they do.........

I fronted for the LONGEST with my boyfriend - that mofo was shocked when I got WLS cause he REALLY thought I didn't eat that much!!!  HELL NAW - not around HIM!!!!  He had no clue how bad I could **** a buffet up!!!!!!

Kind of how Jesus is to the church right?

Let me ask you this though.....

How do you expect him to become your husband if you never show him that part of you while your dating? How will you balance that part of the game until then? 

Ok let me rephrase slightly. I don't mind showing him while we are dating but it would depend on the guy and how serious we are. You can't run around doing this for everyone. You have to take the time to get to know that person and have that person get to know you. While we are going through the getting to know you phase if I like him enough and can see myself with him long term then I would be willing to take it to the next level of starting to allow him into that role. Everyone cannot be your head. I am sorry I stick by that one. I believe that things go in steps. Now just because I am not allowing you to be my head doesn't mean I am not going to give you the respect as the man in the relationship. But  I think we will be more on equal footing when we are in the early stages in the relationship.

I agree completely w/ you on this....

EVERYBODY doesn't deserve that special attention and that is a big issue b/c we often give the WRONG person that special attention!!

Which can be a horrible thing as well!!!

"When I'm looking for the 'one'...I want him to have the ability to be a good head of the household..."

PLEASE do not misconstrue what I'm about to say...not knocking you, but I just have to say it...

O.k., maybe I'm "old school"...why are you LOOKING for a man?  You mention that in scripture, we learn that every woman's head is man and the head of man is Christ.  That may be scripturally true...but also remember that scripture tells us that "A man who finds a wife...finds a good thing..." thus, allow him to find you.  Be submissive to waiting for him to find you...not the other way around...that's one of the reasons why brothers don't want to commit...not saying it is THE reason...but it's one of the reasons - mainly because we don't allow them to 'court' us.  (Nope, haven't read Steve Harvey's book..but planning on doing so real soon - a woman's never too old to learn...)

JMHO

DD

I am sorry DD you misunderstood me. I was speaking hypothetically. When I am dating a man and looking at qualties of that man. There may be things about him that I say to myself hmmm I could see myself with that person. But there are also times when I meet a man and I say nope I cannot see myself with this person long term. It doesn't mean I stop talking to them. It just means that man is not the "one" for me.

You would have to know me personally to know I am not the kind of woman who feels she has to have a man in her life to complete her and make her whole. That being said I am not actively out there looking for anyone to be my husband. I think that is very dangerous trap for any woman to slip into because then she gets caught up in being in the "relationship" instead of "who" she is in a relationship with. Which goes back to what I was saying earlier I do not mind being submissive to my husband and or if I was in a serious relationship but I believe you cannot do that with everyone. There has to be a getting to know you phase. Getting to know that person's personality. That in my opinion is not something we do enough of either.

Sorry for the mini book I just let my thoughts flow