OT: One brother's take on Black women........

good morning yall!!!!  I had a very interesting conversation with my cousin last night.... he's like a fourth removed ain't even know you existed type cousin LOL  We used to work together and actually had crushes on each other - almost acted on it - then found out he was family.... DANG!!!!  If this thing with BF don't work out.... he is SHO next in line tho!!!!  LMAOOOOOO

anyhoo - I was catching up with him and asked who he was seeing these days - he promptly went into a diatribe (but that's typical for him).  He said he is single because there are no sistas out there who are willing to be with a 'traditional' man.  Hmm - what dat mean?  Well - he said that the chicks he was running into were 'rulers' - meaning they wanted to be equal or more in control in the relationship than he - that they would not take the submissive role at all.  He said he understands tho - that Black women have more freedom and possibilities now than ever before - that we are able to freely move about in corporate America - that our image is more accepted and we are able to be fully independent.  However - we lost the role and need of a man in the translation of that freedom and therefore are living the independent life to a fault.

Hmmmmm - interesting position, I say.  I can see on one hand - because I am certainly one of those independent type sistas - but I still cook and fix my man a plate when he comes home.  He still opens my doors, pulls out my chairs and holds my coats too.  I did go through a time tho where I felt as if I ain't NEED no man for nothing...... then I had a ephiphany - that being submissive to my mate is not necessarily being weak - it's actually very powerful. 

so - YOUR thoughts?????

GM Mack Mama...welcome back.  Still laughing at your dvd story.  Anyway, I am submissive to a point.  I have a daddy don't need two.  I don't mind the door opening, the pulling out chair situation also.  And I definitely will take care of mine cook & fix his plate.  But I definitely draw the line when he feels like he has to tell me what to do - being controlling  - The only thing different about him and I is what's in between our legs; and facial hair. 

I am independent to an extreme.  I can pay my own pills, wash my own car, take it to get fixing, but if I got a honey that wants (keyword is WANT) to do that who am I to stop him .  I don't make a man feel obligated to do anything.  And vice versa. 

I hope this makes sense. 

Man - that DVD thing was just WRONG!!!!  Why me?  LOL!!!

So - lemme ask you this - isn't it a fine line on the controlling thing?  I mean - shouldn't he have some say or knowledge of where you are going and what you are doing?  I mean - you can't just go trolloping around in clubs all the time - surely he should be able to tell you to say your behind at home - just as he should have his keister on the sofa too!  LOL 

I mean if I am doing something out of the norm..then yes he can then have something to say about it.  If I spend 5 to 6 days out of a week with my man and he knows that I hang out with my gfs every other weekend and now you got a problem with it...now I got a problem cause ur trying to control something u knew what was down from jump!!!!!!!!!!!     I may be wrong for feeling this way..but hey it's my opinion!

I think you have stumbled on to the powerful secret of a woman's craft! LOL!

What do u mean?  Did I let a cat out of the bag?!

"... The only thing different about him and I is what's in between our legs; and facial hair...."

Uh, I dunno about that.  I've known some pretty hairy-faced sisters in my life.  LOL. 

I was waiting on you to come with some mess.  Go to work D!!! 

you stoopid cole!

Hey MM...I am 50/50...I am a strong, independent, and intelligent female who does not need a man to take care of her...But on the other note I am submissive towards my man- I cook, clean, and I take care of the home...We both work, we both do cleaning, he is the laundry person..lol...We take non-traditional roles within our home...I handle the cash and handles the cars and the house...I used to be the same way..Acting like I did not need him and this and that and that almost ruined our relationship and now I show him that I need him just as much as I need air to breath.