OMG! I thought I was gonna die!
I'm still a Pre Op but while we talking about gas..... I was in the military for a while (was a light weight back then). We had to do situps during physical fitness testing. There would be one person holding feet while the other doing the situps. Something about doing sit ups that kind of forces the gas out of your belly I guess.
Everybody paired up and I was the odd man out and guess who volunteered to hold my feet? The Battalion Sergeant Major (Sgt Maj)!! For those that might not know, the Sgt Maj is the top enlisted guy out of hundreds. He's like the boss' boss' boss or something like that.
Well, I was a young squirt and already nervous as hell that he was holding my feet in the first place. When they gave us the command to begin it was on....my very first sit up I blasted a good one right in his face. I already had like these "pre farts" that I was trying to hold in cause I was nervous, but that first time I squezzed my belly....BOOOOOOOM!!!! He blurted out "g*d*mn son". I could here other guys bustin out laughing. Keep in mind, the test consisted of doing situps for two minutes. Let's just say, he got a second helping.... Talk about MAD!!!!
Couldn't look at him again after that.
Everybody paired up and I was the odd man out and guess who volunteered to hold my feet? The Battalion Sergeant Major (Sgt Maj)!! For those that might not know, the Sgt Maj is the top enlisted guy out of hundreds. He's like the boss' boss' boss or something like that.
Well, I was a young squirt and already nervous as hell that he was holding my feet in the first place. When they gave us the command to begin it was on....my very first sit up I blasted a good one right in his face. I already had like these "pre farts" that I was trying to hold in cause I was nervous, but that first time I squezzed my belly....BOOOOOOOM!!!! He blurted out "g*d*mn son". I could here other guys bustin out laughing. Keep in mind, the test consisted of doing situps for two minutes. Let's just say, he got a second helping.... Talk about MAD!!!!
Couldn't look at him again after that.
Is that your hair??????
Lavender
on 3/10/09 7:35 am - Northern, CA
on 3/10/09 7:35 am - Northern, CA
i got a visual and i am so cracking up in my office...woo wee that was funny....thanks for sharing.....omg a second helping.. 
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I have tested the waters with sugar and with minimal intake I've been cool, but NEVER with "flavored coffee creamer"
so I call my self being grown and added it to my coffee BEFORE a meeting so it's my turn to present my financial for the month
and in the middle of talking and pointing to the screen i start sweating really fast turn hot
girl I halled azz out that room because I knew what was next...every one said where are you going i just LEFT
...LOL I lit that bathroom up! No need to explain the entire unit smelled that.
so I call my self being grown and added it to my coffee BEFORE a meeting so it's my turn to present my financial for the month and in the middle of talking and pointing to the screen i start sweating really fast turn hot girl I halled azz out that room because I knew what was next...every one said where are you going i just LEFT...LOL I lit that bathroom up! No need to explain the entire unit smelled that.
Well I don't have any gas stories but I have been too embarassed. This actually took place this weekend. I was at the club feeling cute cause I have lost 76 lb. and I was trying to be sexy while on the dance floor. I was shaking my ass and rolling my hips and then I got too excited and started swinging my hair while I bent over to shake my ass, oooooohh nooooo. I had a pony tail on and it fell the **** off right while I was dancing. I grabbed that **** and put it back on and laughed my ass off then kept dancing.
~BEAUTY REFLECTS THE IMAGE THAT LIES WITHIN~
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Lisa H.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kinda ironic
Birthday: 01/07/80
Rebirthday:11/17/08
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lisa H.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Kinda ironic
Birthday: 01/07/80
Rebirthday:11/17/08
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