Self Denial is a Mutha

Well the pounds are dropping and I'm constantly in the mirror like where is the weight coming from then it hit me...before surgery I knew I was big but I don't think I realized how big I was.  I was squeezing my tail into 26/28 when I should have known but I needed to be in the 30s but was too proud to actually buy them.  Now, I'm actually going back and looking at my old pics.  I always had a tendency to block out my body from the neck and down but I see that I truly was big at 301.5lbs and I'm still big at 256.2lbs. 

If I went in for a surgery consult, I'd still qualify for the surgery but that's okay because at least I'm moving in the right direction.  It didn't take me overnight to get this weight on and it surely won't take overnight for it to come off.  I don't have buttons popping off my pants so that's one type of lawsuit that I'm avoiding now.  The Lord knows I can't wait until these thighs stop rubbing together...that will be my truly first NSV and I'll let all the world know.

With all that being said, were you guys in denial about how big you really were before surgery?  And if so, are you now having problems mentally catching up with your new body?

girl I know how you feel I was in denial bug time about how big I was and now it is so hard for me to believe that I am small I do alot  of double takes in the mirror and cant believe its me but it is I think will take a while before my mind catches up with this new body I wish you continue success girl sounds like you are doing a great job keep it up

Thank you Judy.  The mind is an interesting thing they way it allows you to see what you want to see.  I can't wait to get my weight down like you girl...you are doing the thang.

aww thanks girl you will get there and be hurt em take care girl and keep me posted on your journey

Hey Girl,
Let me honest with you as soon as I found out I was Approved I blew the *uck up.  I ate out of control for no apparent reason.  I was in hella denial.  I went back to the nut a few weeks ago and she showed me the pics she took of me like a week befor my surgery and I almost vomited.  I looked a mess.  I did not know how i got that big or how othe people did not tell me I had gotten out of control.  It had gotten to the point i wouldn't even take pictures of myself.  RNY has been  ablessing for me and now I am back infront of the cameras!

No I am well aware of how big I am which is why I avoid the camera as much as possible.

I was always the one taking pictures instead of really getting in the pic.  I knew I was big but not that big...it's shocking what a picture shows you.

Hi Angie,

I was never in denial about how big I was.  I am however about to go redirect Brenda R. to this post.  You are doing great my friend and there are many NSV's to come.

Thank you Faith and I can't wait for those NSVs to come my way

I was def in denial!  I told my mom yesterday that I've lost 40 pounds and I can't even tell!!!  I told her that it's a shame that I've lost the weight equivalent of a small child and don't even notice it!!!