Friends & Weight Loss

Hello BAF,
Has anyone ever lost a freind due to their weight loss? I just had my surgery last month and I have a friend who has completely stopped talking to me for no reason. She called to check on me once and ever since then we haven't talked and she hasn't answered my calls. There are other things that she has done in the past that leads me to believe that she may be a bit envious of my weight loss ( I've lost 60 lbs before the surgery). Can anyone tell me if this is normal? Will I lose friends due to my weight loss?

that is really sad. How can someone claim to be a freind and then not be there for you, to support you, to be happy for you???? I don't get it. You know that green eyed monster can be something. You don't need that type of person in you're life.

Hello PrincessP

Sorry to read about this; but it comes with the territory.  It's a good thing you found out now; this surgery takes you through so many changes you may have outgrown her anyway.  I lost a friend d/t weight loss surgery.  I was a little upset about it; but I have moved on and grown up!  If she's not answering your calls or even returning them, brush your shoulder's off babe and keep it moving!    

Thank u for your responses... It's just really hard when u have been friends with someone for so long. Nikki you are right I have been feeling like we were beginning to grow apart due to alot of things that has happened, but I didn't want to just throw the friendship away. I am going to brush my shoulders off and keep moving because dealing with this surgery is not easy and I need all the support that I can get. Thanks for the words-- they really helped

OMG!!  I was just about to post the same question. I am going through the same thing with my best friend. I have made peace with my decision and if she can't stand by me then so be it. I can't live my live through her eyes. I have to do what's best for me. My BF is maybe 70 plus pounds heavier than me and some say that maybe she is jealous. Maybe she is upset because I decided to do something that she really wants to do but is scared to do. You know the saying, misery loves company.

Is your friend heavy?  You and I both are going to be just fine with or without them. I have a angel named Juanita and her and I have had endless conversations about everything. I am my surgeron's office to hook me up with some people that I could talk to before my surgery, I received a call from Juanita and we hit off right away!!  We have soo mu*****ommon. Do you know this lovely woman asked me when my surgery was and took the day off to be there!!  I felt so overwhelmed and full of joy because I have people in my life that have not offered to do anything. I am used to doing things by myself and for myself.

Maybe God is showing us that it's time we made some new friends.  I will be your friend when you need to talk or vent. I agree with the other post, there is a reason for everything. Keep doing you and your blessing will come.. We don't have the time nor energy to be bothered with negative things or people..

We are too blessed to be stressed!!!!

YES THAT IS VERY NORMAL UNFORTUNATELY.....THE MORE WEIGHT YOU LOSE THE MORE FRIENDS YOU LOSE!! THIS IS A SAD TRUTH! I USED TO HAVE A LOT OF FREINDS WHEN I WAS 400 PLUS LBS., AND NOW NOT EVEN MY OWN TWIN BROTHER HANGS OUT WITH ME ANYMORE!!!I KNOW THAT IT'S DO TO JEALOUSY, AND YOU SNATCHING UP ALL THE ATTENTION THAT YOU USED TO NEVER GET, AND INSTEAD OF BEING A "WING WOMAN/MAN" THEN YOU BECOME THE MAIN ATTRACTION, AND FOR SOME REASON YOUR FRIENDS OR RELATIVES CAN'T HANDLE THAT SO THEY STOP HANGIN WITH YA.

Fortunately for me,  I did not lose any friends,  however being a OH member now for over four years,   I read about that happening all the time.

I have the issue with family "you have loss too much weight"     or  " you can stop losing weight now" !

I think my family really do have my best interest in their hearts :)  God love them !!

Phyllis still has to "do me"  and be comfortable in my  own skin :)

Thats so sad.I just want to say just hold your head up and concentrate on you and your journey,Its normal for your feelings to be hurt but dont let that distact your weight losy journey.I wish you the best....

Sad but it happens in the best of places.  I have an outgoing personality always w the gift of gab to males and females.  Now with the smaller version of me the females are concerned that I may be a threat. 
Sad truth - no more of a threat smaller than bigger.  However now they think their man is paying more attention. 
Sadder truth - "If they don't know me by now, they will never, never know me".  Would'nt and didn't want them then and don't want them now.

For the females, when I walked into a party/gathering saying now the fun can begin it had nothing to do with my weight then nor does it now.

We must realize that we cannot rid other people of their insecurities and some days we stoke them instead of stroking them.  I pray to be more balanced and do the stroking instead of stoking.
Z

Hello PrincessP,

It happens quite often...people losing friends to weight loss.  I have lost several.  They used to call me all the time to go out and then the calls became less frequent and then dwindled to none. It is sad to say that is comes with "WLS Territory."  You find out who you true friends are and who just had you around to make themselves feel or look better.