Cute in the face but....

Awww DAlexis  you receive a

Sarcasm will get you everywhere. LOL 

***Hijack***    Mrs. Rhonda -- TT one year later -- BEAUTIFUL!  (cute in the face and the body)

MIKE THAT WAS VERY WELL PUT!!!!!

I agree with you completely as I've questioned those comments in the past.  I find it shocking that people don't think more of themselves and seem to pin so much of a life change on having surgery.  Every time I read female comments about the attention and how they pair a dude opening the door for them with impressive....I want to go on a Dani tangent because dayum you weren't worthy of this courtesy before due to weight????

I think much of it DOES come from self-image. 

There are those who, not only think having a door suddenly being opened for them is a big deal, there are those who, for some strange reason, lose themselves sexually.  Its almost as if they are trying to make up for all the "attention" they may have missed (whether actual or imagined) when heavier. 

There seems also some who may have serious emotional issues.  Some people equate their problems with their obesity with the proviso that if / when they lose THAT, they solve their problems.  The sad thing is that often the problems continue and some seem not to be able to get past that supposed solution. 

But, you are right: much of it DOES have to do with self-image. 

You know...I think people should get off of the "KIK" that we do not have preferences! WE ALL have preferences! And there is nothing wrong with it, heck, I choose Coke-A-Cola over Pepsi EVERYTIME, even if Pepsi is on sale at HALF the price...nothing can give me that UUUMMMPH like a Coke! So why should anything in Life be any different. We use our personal tastes, likes and dis-likes in EVERYTHING, these make up our Values. Imagine choosing a partner ONLY because he/she would be a good provider. Some people do make that choice and end up looking "DEAD" in the eyes. Why can't a good provider also be attractive to that person, physically, emotionally and Spiritually. Who says someone has to "Settle".


For me: My partner had to be Spiritual, very Intelligent (with minimally a college degree) great looking to me, not fat but proportionate (I'm fat but I couldn't see me and another fat person in bed together), not too light skinned cause I'm light skin and I like brown or dark skin (just like the contrast in bed or summin), nice skin, well kept hair (long or short), an earner and love their Independence BUT chose Interdependence. These things coincide with MY VALUES.


I have gone out with people and they say, you are cute (in the face) and the whole package...but you are too big for me. I say to myself, Ok, you are missing out on something really great, your loss. I knew that, that person was not the one for me. When I was Blessed with the right one, chemistry clicked and all the other stuff was there; she said you could have been 800 lbs and I still would have been attracted to you and Love you! So YES, have Standards, about everything; how high transient standards are on your list tells about your Values..BUT for sure physical attraction is very important to any good relationship (both ways).

I think it is all about how feel about yourself. If you are the type to let "society" determine your level of beauty, then "pretty in the face" comment won't bother you much. That is how I was. I never tough much of my looks...especially once I got really big. Some guys want a thick girl, with a pretty face, but I didn't want to be that girl...I didn't want to be thick. I took/accepted whatever compliment I got and never thought the person who delivered it was very sincere. Once I lost weight, I thought, well, I'm not so bad anymore. But now, I hear, the opposite...I'm too thin, but have a pretty face. WTF? It's all about what you think of yourself.  Oh well, hubby loves me either way so it doesn't matter.

I'm glad you used the word "Thick"; what does that mean? I met a 5'-6" 400 lb woman that described herself as "Thick"!!! I just shuck my dayyyum head! Sisters are out here Fat, obese, morbidly obese and more, calling themselves "Thick." In doing so, many are doing NOTHING about their health issues because they think that they are "THICK" and that is "Acceptable." I just hate that word because it is deceptive. Most women that I know who use it are FAT Chicks who want a "nice" way to describe themselves instead of saying, "I'm overweight or I'm obese." Recognition is the first step to getting help. Frankly, I have heard men use the word "thick" and they are talking about women between Beyounce and J-Hud.

Thick = woman in denial about being fat. J- Hudson is fat. She may even be obese. Beyonce is not fat or thick. I met her at the Kennedy Center Honors...she must wear a size 4. Or at least she had on some SERIOUS Spanx. She looked good though. It's all about her proportions. She has a very tiny waist.

I know guys who only like women who wear at least a size 16. They call them "thick in the waist with a pretty face." ~

My hubby would prefer me to be a little heavier...When I got to about 180, he was in heaven. It lasted for about a month or 2, then I was down to 170. He was already telling me "Stop losing weight!" I was like, "Honey, this is a moving train. I can't stop it. It's gotta stop in it's own time." I was wearing about a 10 then.

But getting back to the original posters point, if I were single, I believe that I might be more selective about who I was attracted to as well. I would want someone who was in tune with his body and thought about how he could best maintain his health. My hubby is that way about himself. He's conscious about his health issues and tries to overcome them with diet and exercise. He has some weight to lose, but nothing excessive.

I can't see me with someone who constantly ate all day long or could actually sit and eat an entire pizza and drink a liter of soda by himself. Even before I lost the weight, that kind of activity, especially a lot of soda drinking, really grossed me out.  Before I got with my hubby, I dated this one guy, who was really nice and was a little over weight. He took me out to dinner at something like a Fridays and ordered a pitcher of Root  Beer twice. I was so disgusted. I had ordered water and unsweetened ice tea. I wasn't heavy then, but it just made me lose my appetite.