Relationship question come on in

When my parents separated my mother worked 2 jobs to keep things going for us.  If I could work 2 or 3 jobs right now I would do it.  I don't like just getting by and don't feel comfortable not having any sort of plan.   

I faced the same thing with my honey.  I changed a LOT over the last three years we have been together and certainly a whole lot in the 8 we have known each other.  While he isn't there yet for me either - he has decided to move with my tide - and don't get me wrong - it ain't all about him - I have had to move with his too.

Give and take - that's what they say relationships are all about - tug of war almost - sometimes the hanky is on your side of the line, sometimes not - you gotta run with it - it's not the natural position or purpose of the exercise for the hanky to stay on the center line.... ya dig????

Give and take - that's what they say relationships are all about - tug of war almost - sometimes the hanky is on your side of the line, sometimes not - you gotta run with it - it's not the natural position or purpose of the exercise for the hanky to stay on the center line.... ya dig????


I like it! And you're right I've changed and real **** we sent a lot of money the past couple of years on me and the surgery for my phycial health as well as mental health(self esteem) and I now need some dental work and so does he. Neither is a right now type of thing but I told him that I would wait until later in the year when we save a little more money to get mine done because I know he sacrificed for my WLS so we'll get his done. eecause I do realize I swung from being a dormat to very selfish so now trying to get it back somewher ein the middle. Good advice MM

Wait a minute.....Mack is getting all mushy??????   WTH????? First rappers think they can sing, now this??????  lol What is this world coming to?  Next, she'll be professing (dare I say it?) LOVE (ewwwwww, my skin is crawling a the mere thought of it)????

In marriage there are times when one partner actually outgrows the other.  They are exposed to new things and they are open to it.   The other partner may not be as open or agreeable to the change.  It think it's the responsibility of each partner to "try" to bring the other up with you ~ To attempt to share the changes and growth. I did say try - that is not always possible.  But if you married a "Like-minded" person and your goals for your marriage and family were in synch when you started out you should be able to work together to survive growth and change and prosper together. 

I believe that marriage is more than just a physical and emotional partnership.  It is also a business partnership.  The Corporation is your family and as the CEO, CFO and head 2 folks in charge it is the responsibility of both partners to be proactive in growing in a way that will allow the corpoeration to not just sustain itself but thrive and be prepared for the many pitfalls that occur in life.  Todays tough economic times requires both change and growth.  It requires that we think out of the box and find ways when there appears to be no way and to work together like never before.  I believe because of the current status of our society both partners have to wake up and work hard now then ever before.  Marriage is hard - money problems make it even harder.  While we have to be patient with our partners they have to also be accomodating to us and get on the band wagon when it comes to fiscal survival.

Just my 2 cents.  I was probably rambeling.  But in the end of the day ~No you are not stuck.  If he can not get on board your train may have to just keep on moving.  No one wants to stay stagnant.  No one wants to be stuck in a rut, Who needs the stress of spinning your wheels and going no where.  Either the corporation thrives or the doors shut down and they go bankrupt.

Sharon you weren't rambling that was "real talk" I like the corporation analogy as well! Thanks!

"So is it change or growth? And is that really a bad thing either way?"

As far as your friend is concerned it goes way deeper than change and growth. Just like you can't build a house on a shaky foundation or it will fall. You also cannot build a relationship on an unstable foundation. Its all a matter of standards and requirements. You teach people how to treat you. She taught him that he could lay on his behind and that would be okay. Most men would hustle like crazy in order to provide for his woman and or children.

The one thing that women do that we should STOP doing is get men that are projects. I don't want a man that I have to work on. We also need to stop thinking that we can change a man. Its like Myles Munroe mentions in his books on Marriage. He says that the problem is we spend more time preparing for the ceremony then we spend preparing for the marriage. Actually let me go grab a book of his.....


AHA

He says the following in The Purpose and Power of Love and Marriage:

Marriage is a learning environment in which both partners can grow and develop over time. One of the biggest problems in marriage and family life today is that in so many homes the husband has effectively abdicated his headship either by default or ignorance.



Have a GREAT weekend,
Lena


Am I the only single woman that's preparing for her marriage even though I don't even have a man