OT: Ungrateful Kids
On January 27, 2009 at 12:29 PM Pacific Time, mscleo wrote:
no problem....none of us are given instruction manuals at the time of birth so we live and learn...OK - side note what were you thinking with that big old gap. I can tell you when I am lucky enough to see them close to grown I darn sure wont be starting over (anyway I will be way too old then) LOL.
girl i dunno....lol i was almost there...but i love it...i would have 6 more if i could..
Hats off to you CLEO. I can't do it. I love my boys dearly, when I am with them they wear me out and when I am not with them I am worried about them (drives me nuts). I love them to death, but I don't want NO MO kids!!!!! LOLWorking on me - want to be better in everyway not just physically!!! Its a process no time to judge or be judged!!!!
(deactivated member)
on 1/27/09 2:11 am, edited 1/27/09 2:15 am - DMV Diva Member...for life...lol!, NC
on 1/27/09 2:11 am, edited 1/27/09 2:15 am - DMV Diva Member...for life...lol!, NC
I always laugh when I hear parents complain about their children's shortcomings when we the parents teach them what is acceptable. If one doesn't want a monster or in your case an ungrateful child...don't raise one. One of the biggest mistakes that parents make is not teaching a child the value of money or not making a child aware of the fact that there are household expenses. I see so many parents upset that their children flip off because times get hard and they don't understand why they can't have because their parents make them think that things magically appear.
I am a big LOVER of Christmas and although my son was taught about Santa Claus, I made sure to tell him that sure you're making a list for Santa but Mommy has to send him money to bring those items. My son also knew that mommy goes to work to make that money. My son couldn't have made me prouder when last year I was laid off in September as Christmas approached, he informed me that he really didn't need anything but could I just replenish his school supplies as I always do at the end of the quarter. I had landed a job by Christmas and although I didn't get him what I knew he wanted most due to the expense of catching up our bills, he got a good Christmas and I will admit that when shopping this year that I still didn't forget how selfless he was and he had a great Christmas. I have a 3yo in the house and he doesn't touch the remote much less a DVD player so once again...look to yourself in answer to why you're having to replace these things.
Miz D, please don't misunderstand I in no way set out to raise ungrateful kids. That is not my intention. I am simply asking how can you provide them their wants and ensure a healthy balance and appreciation for what they have.
I am not rich and I work very hard to provide my kids a nice life which in addition to things includes being of good moral character, educating them biblically and literally. I wasn't asking necessarily why I am having to replace things because that part is evident. I am more so asking how to give them that balance. Age appropriate lessons if you will.
Working on me - want to be better in everyway not just physically!!! Its a process no time to judge or be judged!!!!
IMHO, they are not going to appreciate anything until they have a job. Children often think that money grows on trees or that mommy has a money bag somewhere.
While I am not a parent, I remember how my mother raised me. Her job was to give me what I needed and if there was money left over, some of the things I wanted. Times are too hard to keep buying stuff over and over again. Remember this, the children don't have jobs , you do have a job plus all of the financial responsibilities of the house and of raising them and you are in control. Think about it. Who is the parent and who is the child? Selfishness will only get worse before it get better, especially if not corrected promptly.
Just my two cents.
While I am not a parent, I remember how my mother raised me. Her job was to give me what I needed and if there was money left over, some of the things I wanted. Times are too hard to keep buying stuff over and over again. Remember this, the children don't have jobs , you do have a job plus all of the financial responsibilities of the house and of raising them and you are in control. Think about it. Who is the parent and who is the child? Selfishness will only get worse before it get better, especially if not corrected promptly.
Just my two cents.
Without struggle, there is no progress.
My husband swears that we over compensate because our kids are adopted. Nope... we would still be doing the same stuff if they weren't adopted. My husband is offender #1 because he's trying to get all the stuff he didn't have during his childhood. We are figuring this buying thing out as we go along. The last two Christmases they did not open everything. That translates into too much stuff. This last Christmas I had chopped their list down to the bare minimum based on their behavior and their behavior was ridiculous the closer it got to Christmas. My daughter even got to the point she was trying to get other people to intervene on her behalf with Santa... trying to get off his naughty list. I ended up buying them one thing they each asked for and the rest was what *I* thought they should have and they were happy. They only play with two things they got this last Christmas… Dora with the makeup, Diego’s Rescue Center and they each got Vtech Digital cameras. Even with the shaved down list stuff still showed up at our house from outside sources. We have started to tell people to stop bringing the kids toys.
My kids DVD player is a $10 Black Friday special. I told my sister to not spend much money on it because something might happen to it. We put that DVD player in their room to give us a break. We can only watch so much Sprout, Noggin and Disney before we lose our minds. We were foster parents a number of years so we have crossed over into the mindless point with children’s programming. Put the children’s song DVD on repeat and they will entertain themselves for a little while.
I say my kids are spoiled but one of my friends says there is no such thing as a spoiled child... They are just children who are well loved. This friend doesn't have children so you can take that for what it's worth.
My kids DVD player is a $10 Black Friday special. I told my sister to not spend much money on it because something might happen to it. We put that DVD player in their room to give us a break. We can only watch so much Sprout, Noggin and Disney before we lose our minds. We were foster parents a number of years so we have crossed over into the mindless point with children’s programming. Put the children’s song DVD on repeat and they will entertain themselves for a little while.
I say my kids are spoiled but one of my friends says there is no such thing as a spoiled child... They are just children who are well loved. This friend doesn't have children so you can take that for what it's worth.
On January 27, 2009 at 11:36 AM Pacific Time, Tsunami wrote:
My husband swears that we over compensate because our kids are adopted. Nope... we would still be doing the same stuff if they weren't adopted. My husband is offender #1 because he's trying to get all the stuff he didn't have during his childhood. We are figuring this buying thing out as we go along. The last two Christmases they did not open everything. That translates into too much stuff. This last Christmas I had chopped their list down to the bare minimum based on their behavior and their behavior was ridiculous the closer it got to Christmas. My daughter even got to the point she was trying to get other people to intervene on her behalf with Santa... trying to get off his naughty list. I ended up buying them one thing they each asked for and the rest was what *I* thought they should have and they were happy. They only play with two things they got this last Christmas… Dora with the makeup, Diego’s Rescue Center and they each got Vtech Digital cameras. Even with the shaved down list stuff still showed up at our house from outside sources. We have started to tell people to stop bringing the kids toys. My kids DVD player is a $10 Black Friday special. I told my sister to not spend much money on it because something might happen to it. We put that DVD player in their room to give us a break. We can only watch so much Sprout, Noggin and Disney before we lose our minds. We were foster parents a number of years so we have crossed over into the mindless point with children’s programming. Put the children’s song DVD on repeat and they will entertain themselves for a little while.
I say my kids are spoiled but one of my friends says there is no such thing as a spoiled child... They are just children who are well loved. This friend doesn't have children so you can take that for what it's worth.
Yeah, I guess we are spoiling them. But hey we only get one chance at this.
Working on me - want to be better in everyway not just physically!!! Its a process no time to judge or be judged!!!!
Hi Brenda,
I was SO in your shoes!! I was a newly divorced mother of a 4 year old little girl. I did EVERYTHING to compensate for her father's absence. She had EVERYTHING any child could ever imagine. For real nothing could compensate for the loss of her father, no matter what I bought or did I could not give her him back and she made me pay for that. She learned to believe she was ENTITLED to everything. I initially did not want her to miss out on anything so I stressed, stretched and sacraficed. She's 23 now and the woman I raised is often self centered, self absorbed, selfish and out of touch with all that was really forfieted in order for her to live the good life.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my first born with all that is in me but she would be a much better person if I had not given so much and made it all so transparent to her - she thinks it was somehow EASY.
My two little ones now 8 and 10. Have also had way to much. It is taking hard work to make them appreciate all the effort that is put into them having all their needs and most of their wants. It's just now that thier father and I are forcing upon them the idea that they are only entitled to the basics, food, shelter, clothes and love. All else is earned. We try not to let the TV, videos and games raise (baby sit) them. We push, reading, writing and physical activity. We make them responsible for their things and we make them share the big ticket items.
It's really hard being a parent, whether single or not. There is not real rule book and we all just do the very best we can hoping that we are right. You are at least recognizing where you can make changes and what you want to see out of them. For that I applaud you.
As for the DVD players....Those things are basically disposable, they are not ready for them, spend a little more on a kid proof one. It will save on your trips back to Walmart.
I was SO in your shoes!! I was a newly divorced mother of a 4 year old little girl. I did EVERYTHING to compensate for her father's absence. She had EVERYTHING any child could ever imagine. For real nothing could compensate for the loss of her father, no matter what I bought or did I could not give her him back and she made me pay for that. She learned to believe she was ENTITLED to everything. I initially did not want her to miss out on anything so I stressed, stretched and sacraficed. She's 23 now and the woman I raised is often self centered, self absorbed, selfish and out of touch with all that was really forfieted in order for her to live the good life.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my first born with all that is in me but she would be a much better person if I had not given so much and made it all so transparent to her - she thinks it was somehow EASY.
My two little ones now 8 and 10. Have also had way to much. It is taking hard work to make them appreciate all the effort that is put into them having all their needs and most of their wants. It's just now that thier father and I are forcing upon them the idea that they are only entitled to the basics, food, shelter, clothes and love. All else is earned. We try not to let the TV, videos and games raise (baby sit) them. We push, reading, writing and physical activity. We make them responsible for their things and we make them share the big ticket items.
It's really hard being a parent, whether single or not. There is not real rule book and we all just do the very best we can hoping that we are right. You are at least recognizing where you can make changes and what you want to see out of them. For that I applaud you.
As for the DVD players....Those things are basically disposable, they are not ready for them, spend a little more on a kid proof one. It will save on your trips back to Walmart.
Peace & Blessings, Sharon
6 years and counting
6 years and counting
On January 27, 2009 at 11:55 AM Pacific Time, Madame wrote:
Hi Brenda,I was SO in your shoes!! I was a newly divorced mother of a 4 year old little girl. I did EVERYTHING to compensate for her father's absence. She had EVERYTHING any child could ever imagine. For real nothing could compensate for the loss of her father, no matter what I bought or did I could not give her him back and she made me pay for that. She learned to believe she was ENTITLED to everything. I initially did not want her to miss out on anything so I stressed, stretched and sacraficed. She's 23 now and the woman I raised is often self centered, self absorbed, selfish and out of touch with all that was really forfieted in order for her to live the good life.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my first born with all that is in me but she would be a much better person if I had not given so much and made it all so transparent to her - she thinks it was somehow EASY.
My two little ones now 8 and 10. Have also had way to much. It is taking hard work to make them appreciate all the effort that is put into them having all their needs and most of their wants. It's just now that thier father and I are forcing upon them the idea that they are only entitled to the basics, food, shelter, clothes and love. All else is earned. We try not to let the TV, videos and games raise (baby sit) them. We push, reading, writing and physical activity. We make them responsible for their things and we make them share the big ticket items.
It's really hard being a parent, whether single or not. There is not real rule book and we all just do the very best we can hoping that we are right. You are at least recognizing where you can make changes and what you want to see out of them. For that I applaud you.
As for the DVD players....Those things are basically disposable, they are not ready for them, spend a little more on a kid proof one. It will save on your trips back to Walmart.
Working on me - want to be better in everyway not just physically!!! Its a process no time to judge or be judged!!!!
Most Active
Recent Topics
