Relationship Question

i had a conversation with some ppl during lunch today.  This one dude was telling me how he had been blindsided by his lady in wanting to end their relationship.  Another guy was wondering how its possible to really be blindsided.  His reasoning was that unless your head is in the sand, you can see changes, no matter how subtle.  If 4 hour long conversations turn into four minutes (complete with three minutes of dead silence),  if the stuff that used to be "cute" is now annoying as hell, etc.

What do you think?  Is it possible NOT to see when a relationship is about to end?

If Stevie can see it so can you!  

Could it be that people are so comfortable, set in ways, and don't want to realize that the HOME is not Happy???

Hmmmmmmm.  Now, that is a valid point.  That the person may be so stuck on things being comfy they don't notice the obvious.

Hi there.

Yup.  That's what I always thought.  If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, then it MUST be a duck.    LOL

True!!!  But then do you tell the DUCK to come clean, or do you settle with the DUCK...? 

Never settle. 

D,

I am still cyber mad at you but I have an opinion on this one so here you go...

I think you can and do see it coming.  The problem is sometimes we would rather stick our heads in the sand and deny the inevitable doom of our relationships.  I don't know if its out of fear of being alone, or if its because many believe its the right thing to do (for example in cases of marriage or children) but denial is sometimes comfortable.  The unknown can be scary, and some rather live in the comfort or discomfort if you will, of the known rather than brave the unknown. 

I will just speak for myself, when my marriage ended I really wasn't happy, but I stayed in it for the sake of preserving my family and the appearance of a happy family.  My husband often says to others he cant believe I put him out, but when you think about it, I am sure he knew that we both were unhappy and that his actions could not be long sustained.  I think playing the blind sided role, helps people to shield themselves from the reality of knowing the relationship was not all that.

 

B.
Thanks for your imput.

I'm cyber-sorry that you're cyber-mad at cyber-me.

For myself, I stayed in my marriage longer than I should have as well.   For me ,it was a fear of starting over all over again at age forty  AND possibly not seeing my daughter again, if the ex was willing to be truly vindictive.  

Eventually, you have to weigh your happiness against someone else's.  Besides, children living in a destructive family environment is counterproductive (wow. I actually sound like I make sense. lol)

you know what it is.

if you ever truly knew the person, you'd see the changes.