*I* the Mack.... am a HATER (long)..........

that's RIGHT - I SAID it!!!!!

I HATE the idea and term 'goal weight'.  Of course - the first thing you can say to me is that I WOULD be hater since I AIN'T there......

But WHERE does this 'goal weight' come from?  Every single time I see someone in the process of having WLS - they are HOPING to get to 200lbs or just under it.  Not NARY pre WLS person I have seen sets out to be a size 8...... we all come from 32ville PRAYING God lets us see something that starts with a 1 and swear up and down we would be content to see just 18.

It's when we get there we get greedy, overambitious, or otherwise rethink the ideals we placed in front of ourselves at the beginning of this journey.  WHY do we do that?  And it hounds, plagues, rides, drives and tears us apart in some cases over time. 

For me - I have sat down and thought about it.  Yes - in August I hit my all time low of 176 - with little effort - just eating and not really working out a lot.  Then I got back in the gym and back to eating too much - even according to my plan.  Before I knew it, I was back up to 188-190 - but still hitting the gym like a maniac.  Now - I am still holding at 190 or below - but have seriously increased my tone and stamina - I am obviously NOT unhealthy.  I don't fit most (not all) of my beloved 8's - I had to buy some more pants since my 14s are STILL too big (thank you JESUS).  Shirt size never changed - so no biggie there.

Could you say that my body is still adjusting after my plastics in June?  Sure - you COULD.  A lot of post PS folk say their body still swells and has its 'moments' for up to a year after surgery.  I am not discounting this theory - but for my purposes - I cannot hold stock in it at all!  I HAVE to know and trust that I know my body and that I am very simply........ (fuck that comma Inspire! lol) A FAT ASS!!!!

I did my plan to lose starting in July and got to my first goal by late Aug..... I got too pleased with myself in late Sept and Oct (plus the hurricane jacked my routine smooth UP)- and the downward spiral began.  It's a hard road back up - and it's not a ROAD really - hell - I am STILL 200lbs down from my highest weight - let's not get all crazy here.  I am working on total vanity.  There's no REAL reason for me to continue to push so hard, to be so crazed about the digits on a lil flat panel of plastic with batteries in it - but I am.  Even without the scale - it's not right if it's not 8. 

Newbies - this post is for you!!!  To show you that this journey doesn't END EVER!!!  That the pics you see of folk and think - WOW - she's so lucky - she's DONE.... WE ain't DONE!  We are still counting ounces of water, grams of protein, vitamin intake, BMI, LBS, inches, sizes and everything else that tells us and confirms for us that we haven't lost ground, that we are still winning the fight against our fat - that we are still OKAY.  Not to scare you - but just to let you know even when your outside fat lady ain't singing no more - you got that ***** on CD in your head!!!! 

ETA:  Wait - the saying goes 'It ain't over TILL the Fat Lady sings..... hmmmm - think I need a new analogy to close this post out - I ****** that one up royally..... LMAO
  Awww hell...........
Just know the **** ain't neva over even when you think it is!!!!! 

I agree. I posted the goal weight that my dr. set for me, but my goal weight will be whatever my body decides. When it stops losing after I've done my part then I'll continue with the program. The fat lady has shut her mouth once with me yet. Great post #1 MM

Now - come on - you mean to tell me that you have NO ideal in YOUR head???  that you haven't reached what you DREAMED for yourself in the beginning and you WANT to be just a lil bit smaller?????

That was a typo. The fat lady hasn't shut her mouth once with me. lol I had said that I would be happy with a 14 but I'm a 14 now and I want to check out the 10's and 12's and see how they feel. Those 28's were not working for me.

I, personally, beleive there shouldn't be such a thing as "goal weights".  Doctors tend to go by actuary charts, and BMI rates.  My question is: by who standards.   With the charts, they don't go by body types, genetics, etc. 

According to the chart, for example, for my height (six feet), I should be between 160 and 175 pounds.  I'd be looking like a crackhead with the superhero ability to hide behind toothpicks.  Crazy.  lol

I saw your after photo in the other post - I think you said you were 216 or something - dude - yea - SO crackish at 160.......

It's hard to hear because some of us think that there is a finish line but it's a life long commitment.  But still scary.
Thanks MM

Yep!  Hard to hear, but REAL talk.  **** I didn't have available to read when I was 'coming up'.  Figured I would put it out there. 

Thank you MM, this is a straight reality check for us newbies who want to blieve this is it.  Yes, in many ways it may be it, but the pursuit or health, sizes, etc. continues from what I gather.  For me that means that I must stay focused and give myself time to change and room for imperfection.  Thanks for posting this MM.

oh - reading it's a trip - LIVING it is a total mind FUCK!!!!  LOL

I posted this so that while you on the grind you won't think 'am I totally crazy or something?'  LOL - just know it ain't just you!!!!