Lunch Break - BAF Help me pull my foot out my mouth

Forgive me father for I have sinned.

Those who has follow my posts, more likely remember the co-worker who is quite big who always have something to say to me like "you look like you gaining the weight back", or "some negative about my weight loss", well I always have quick come back for her each time and not once felt bad about it.

Well since my supervisor is not here, I had to step up in her place which the furniture falls under her area of responsibility.

So I was sitting at my desk talking to a co-worker, she and another co-worker walked up and she said

"Excuse me, my chair broke, who do I tell?"

And I forgot that I was wearing another hat at the moment, and before I knew it, my big fat mouth open up and I said "Weigh****cher'...the look on her face was so sad, I felt like crap, the other two laugh and that just made it worst.  I could not apologize enough, even though she has said many mean things to me...the fact that I put that look on her face, gave me the worst feeling, I told her I was just joking, because we are always at each other like that and I was just joking.  She said yea but not on that subject, that even the folks really close to her know not to tease her about her weight, I said, I was just teasing her since I could relate to breaking chairs since I too was overweight not so long ago (I never broke a chair, but I was grabbing for anything to make up for doing such a mean thing). She said yea but she wasn't where I am with her weight loss and she cant make no jokes about, she said that she forgave me but the entire morning, I can honestly say...I felt like crap, my outer self is trying to convince my inner self that she had it coming but she really didn't, that was just a mean thing that I did, I am so quick with the come back that I did not consider her feelings and that is so not me. I am the type, that I will get you if you get me, but I cant believe that I opened my mouth and said that. I apologizes so much, she finally asked me to stop it.

Thanks for reading my confession. Back to work, everyone have a great day, please understand if I dont reply to this post until when I get home if I have time or I might just read the replies when I get home if I have to work late.

Woooowwwwwwwww! And I thought i was bad...shame, shame, shame. 

All jokes aside, not that you said "Weigh****chers" (though that was bad enough) but that you forgot what hat you were wearing and said it.  While I know it might not happen, if your company has an Ethics department under your Human Resources, she would be well within her rights to issue a complaint, La Verne. 

For me, as a manager, I have to constantly watch what I say around here; even if many of these, uh, gentlemen DESERVE to be cracked on. 

Here's hoping there are no repercussions. 

Quick reply: I am not worry about repercussion, I am not official wearing the hat of my supervisor (I am just the go to person until she comes back)  I am not worried about her filing anything official, that is my least worry, my concern is that I made a person feel bad, even if I can justify that she had it coming with all the things that she has said, I proud myself at not being mean without due cause. 

Thanks for your concern even though you misunderstood my concern, you believes I am worried that I am going to get in trouble about what I said....not even a little. Ok, let me get back to work.

No, sweetheart.
I know u weren't worried about any repercussions; but that you broke the number one commandment in here: THOU SHALT NOT CRACK FAT JOKES. 

That you are just acting in your bosses place until she returns doesn't matter when it comes to matter of "discrimination" (yeah, babe, this chick could actually charge you with discrimination against helping her because of her weight-It ain't likely, but it could happen-sheesh).  Even if its one co-worker against another and neither of them are in management positions, in some companies, it can still be an issue. 

I remember correctly, LaVerne works for the government.
She has NOTHING to worry about!  Working for Uncle Sammy has its privileges like that.

To save time, I am answering the replies here:

Delaxis:  I understand the number one commandment about cracking fat jokes...however I fail to see how you see it as a fat joke, it not like I said that she broke it because she was fat or something to that nature, I seriously believe that I would have made the weigh****cher comment to anyone who said their chair broke and, that is just the atmosphere here, my regret was not saying it, my regret was that it cause her to feel bad. I respect what you said about discrimination..blah blah blah...my post was not about the fear of that, IMO you are again reading more into it, however, I will leave it at this and grant you the last word.

Just Velena: You are right, I work for the federal government, with almost 30 years, and discrimination was the last thing I am worrying about. My thoughts was not oh my, I might get in trouble, my thoughts was damn, a joke is not a joke if it cause hurt to someone.

Taw1975...it was long overdue but my response to her wasn't because it was long over due, a skinny person could ask me that question, and the response would have been the same. Was just being my quick witted self.

BigSam:  I thought it was funny as well until I saw the look on her face, sort of like that TV show" Ghostbusters...when they say Who you going to call...I just replaced Ghostbusters with Weigh****chers and bust out laughing until I look at her face.

Pretty Plum: I respect what you said, however please understand, it wasn’t about me talking about her because she is overweight, it just happens that she is overweight, and asked her question when I was in one of my silly moods. Like I said before, my regret was not saying it., my regrets was the look of pain on her face. We don’t play the fat games, in the past, yes she has made remarks about my weight loss in a sneaking way but I don’t consider that fat games, just her being her.

Shay Z…I just have to be more mindful so that I don’t make a person feel bad…don’t want to make a joke at the expense of others, that is all.

***********

I have exhausted myself trying to explain…I now see where most of the time, it is best not to post anything or you will spend a lot of time trying to make sure there is not an misunderstanding.

La Verne,
I'm sorry.  I really didn't mean to read anything into it or to come off as judgemental.  I guess I totally misunderstood your post.  Again, my sincerest apologies. 

I know where you are coming from.  A few years back I lost a considerable amount of weight ,and myself and two other people were having a conversation about girl scout cookies and she made a comment about the Samoas and my reply was "Only fat people love the samoas" Although I didn't say it, in my mind I included myself because I still considered myself fat (and I love samoas).  However, she thought that I was calling her fat and that I had some hollier than thou complex because I had lost some weight. 
It didn't matter how I tried to convince her that I wasn't trying to be malicious and that I still considered myself part of the "club" she wasn't trying to hear me .

All of that is to say, you have to forgive yourself before anyone else can.

No problem to feel bad but do not beat yurself up over it...Two wrongs do not make a right but in this case according to what she has been saying to you I feel like you did the right thing... I bet she does not sasy anything else to you about your weight.

Edit: I somewhat agree with what Dalexis is saying because my company takes things like that serious but she knows that deep in her heart she deserved that...

The sad thing is that even thought she MAY have deserved it,  if she can find a wy to get back at the person who cracked on her, she probably might.  :-(