White women's opinion of black women(LONG BUT WORTH IT)
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I've read this a few months ago.
Actually, the brother's answer was only half right. Yes, in some circles, some guys see these women as "easy" or "docile", but then again, there are just as many black women who can be "docile". Color has nothing to do with that, as witnessed by the number of my sisters who take b.s. by black boys pretending to be men and mistreating them.
Sociologists say that another reason why some of these guys might go for white women is that while these guys (especially the athletes and actors mentioned) may have attained "white" wealth and status, they still aren't actually white. Thus, for some reason, they feel to have the "flower", so to speak, is the next thing to being white. Now, I don't know if I believe that or not, but that's what some sociologists say.
Others say that, because we are innundated in European standards of beauty, some of these misguided guys are falling into that trap. A few decades ago, a study was made in which little black girls were sat down in a room with a white baby doll and a black baby doll. When asked which of these dolls were seen as pretty, the little girls more often than not picked the white dolls...when asked to pick the ugly doll, sadly, many of these girls picked the black dolls. Several years later (I believe it was within the last 4 years or so) the test was conducted again, with, surprisingly, very similar results. Having said that, I noticed that of the brothers mentioned in the reply, several of these men, while they DID marry Black women, some of them married lighter-skinned women. Some could see this as kind of a compromise.
Again, I'm NOT altogether disagreeing with the brother's reply, but there is more to it than just the typical "them women are too loud, blah blah blah," excuses for not wanting to be with Black women. Inner strength doesn't come from color, but from character. I think a lot of it still comes from stereotypical prejudgements and opinions that exists even today.
"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." Plutach. Not true, for there are always more worlds to conquer.
www.myspace.com/dalexis863
I'm a woman of color. I have white friends as well as black but when it comes to raising my Black daughter, I make sure that she is not misguided in thinking that fairer skin is better. I'm not prejudice by any stretch of the imagination but I refuse to purchase a caucasian doll for my daughter because she needs to learn self love. I have gone throught the phase where she only wanted the fair skinned doll but it was my responsiblity to teach her that she is beautiful and the Black doll is beautiful. And furthermore I conducted my own experiment and I asked a few caucasians if they would purchase a black doll baby for their daughters and each said no without batting a lash.
I say all of this to say that men/women who have not and will not date anyone in their own race need to seek therapy because they don't love themselves.
Oh and Wesley Snipes is a an example of this. His reason for not dating black women is because black women didn't like him because he was "too black". We were brain washed for years thinking that fairer skin was better.
I love my chocolate brothas! And I wouldn't be ashamed to walk the street with a blue/black man. But that's just me
Black is beautiful, celebrate it!
Honeymoon Challenge!
Black men are Not going to white women in droves, in fact the Marriage rates of Black women marrying white men are the numbers that are increasing. Beyond this, SOME Black women need to get some self-esteem and not take the "bait" everytime this stuff is mentioned. That 2-4% of Black men that marry outside of their ethnicity have their own reasons. MY Question is , "What are you (we) going to do about the 97% that love themselves and ethnicity?" Why this sqeeky wheel getting all the attention...we need to keep our mind and actions on what is Important. Don't you know that those people WANT attention. Personally, I do not know any Black woman that wants a Black man that has a "fettish" for white women. That so called white woman who posted that letter put a FEW examples of Black men who "married" white women...in the original post (I guess it was original) she had other Black men BUT NOW they are separated or divorced from those white women( like Kareem Abdul Jabbar or Lionel Ritchie...)!
Stop this hatin and focusing on the wrong stuff...let's focus on our community and those who choose to be a Positive part of it. It is crazy that whenever those Black men who involve with white women are asked , "why they want white women" They never say because I just Love her, she is the one for me, she is my Soul mate; instead they give a list about negatives of Black women. My gosh, why would a self respecting women (white or not) be with a man who is with her by DEFAULT. The reality for me is that there are some people (psychology has not determined why) who are attracted to persons outside of their ethnicity, so no matter what a Black Woman (or Black man) did or changed that person still would not be inerested. Let people have their lusts/desires/needs, because I don't know many self respecting Black women who want a Black man who has been "contaminated" with white lust/jungle fever...
Finally, it is offensive to me as a Black Woman that "WE" are asked these questions and then Blacks end up actually DEFENDING our EXISTENCE as a cultural group. I remember when that guy(Johnson) on BET asked Obama why he felt the need to marry Michelle and Dianne Sawyer asked Obama why he felt the need to marry someone Black. What an Insult to our Ethnicity...why does My Father have to defend marrying my Mother, and making more Black kids. Obama answered that Johnson guy from BET by saying, "I'm just glad that she wanted Me!" Obama answered Dianne Sawyer by saying, "Michelle is the one I fell in love with; I could not Imagine being married to anyone else or not having my children as they are...they are Perfect." That should speak for ALL of us, let's focus our energies on that 97% or so of Black men that want Our heritage, and be HAPPY for the other's and send them on their way. Frankly, let's be happy for ANYONE that finds LOVE. Let's Love the Brothers (no matter what Ethnicity) that Love You Back.
PS: Why is it that Black people and Black press play this type of Ethnic hate card? What is it with "US" that this stuff is so purvasive. On white websites and chatrooms, you will never find a "interacial Room" or Black men/white women room...but you find it on Black websites...Why do we self hate so much. This stuff is OLD.
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Glad I logged back on to respond to this garbage written by this woman. I have cousins who married or dated white women back in the "day" AND currently have biracial children from those relationships, I have NO problem with black men dating the women of THEIR choice.
Also you have a few black men that HATE themselves, meaning they may hate their hair texture or their dark skin and feel if they marry someone white their offspring may have a better chance of life, I have actually heard a friend of mine mention this of a brother she knows, which is sick and those type of brothers lack self esteem issues and they hate the skin they are in.
As a matter of fact, I had a brotha approached me at work one day, he was very dark skinned and a bit short and he gave me his card, we got into a lengthy conversation about BLACK MEN AND BLACK WOMEN and the NEW hatred among black men and women and black women that make a whole lot of money HAD ATTITUDE problems and he told me that BLACK women would not give him the time of day in college because he looked too ethnic looking and a lot of black girls would not date him. I thought that was bull-**** Hell Denzel Washington is as black as they come but I can assure you black women are wagging their tongues at GOOD Looking VERY dark handsome men, this brother WAS NOT easy on the eyes, and he used being dark skinned and short as an excuse, and he told me he was attractive to yellow sistas like me OR white women, how dare he have a preference for light skinned women...
But before this white women speak too quickly she should UNDERSTAND very very clearly that most of the black men that I know personally (cousins) included that dated white women back in the day IN THE 80s when it WAS popular to date a white women and prefered them to SISTAS as they say with ATTITUDES, seemed to either had these problems: drug addictions, NO college education, plenty of baby mommas, In and out of Jail AND NO regular job, AND OF COURSE SISTAS WILL give THESE type of brothers HELL anyway.
I have some cousins that dated white women and some of them USED the white women to sell sex (guess you would call that pimping) , I guess these WERE trashy white women, but again they used and abused them and when they got a bit older in their late 30s the brothers dumped the white women and returned to the sistas and left the white women just like they left the black women with babies, probably messed up credit and probably some sort of disease...lol.
All the black men that I grew up with that went on to college and stayed in the church married black women and ARE STILL married to black women after 20 years, so I am not clear about what this white women is trying to say..is that black women are not attractive, loud, fat, fake hair, mean, long finger nails, smelly...oh the sterotypes go on and on....when in fact black women are strong, independent, and YES, we ARE NOT EASY not when we are young, most of the black girls that I went to high school with back in the day DID NOT GIVE UP THE COOCHIE unless we had some type of ring, NOR did none of my friends do drugs or smoked cigarettes, the girls that did that sort of thing were considered loose and *****s and most of those girls went on to smoke crack or go to jail, so those type of black women are not really DESIRABLE anyway to black men.
Not sure why there is this sterotype of black women to be loud, mean, fat, ghetto, having babies by different men and so forth, from what I have seen MOST black men worship beautiful black women and have NO desire to date outside of their race, I have dated a few white men out of couriosity (ALL PROFESSIONAL WHITE MEN) and I have NO problems with interracial dating, I am still single, but at this point in my life my preference is a black man, I think that is who I and who my mom would want me to marry.
But I think this white women is living in a bubble if she think they are HIGHLY SEEKED by black men and they DO not clearly understand why A LOT of black men turn to white women and it is NOT because they are highly DESIRED as she thinks...some of it is because black men CANNOT get the type of black women THEY DESIRE and turn to white women out of frustation== one thing is correct MOST black women do NOT put up with BULL **** including myself; this does not make a black woman mean and have an attitude, it just means we are a bit more strict when we are seeking a mate for life.
I agree that if women are not lady like, smart and take care of herself REGARDLESS if she is black or white MEN with business about themselves will not be attractive to that type of women, so that was low of this white women to write such an article and make a blanket statement as if black women are less desired....this is quite funny and sad at the same time.
I to have read this many years ago. The women who write the original letter is purely ignorant. I am a product of an interacial marrage. My mother is white and in no way shape or form does she share the opinion of this women. I wish that in the world today that people would just speak for themself and not a group of people. This women is ignorant and it is sad, but all white women who marry or date black men feel that way at all. Just like all black men may not share the opinion of the gentlemen *****sponded. White, black, or some where in between does it really matter as long as you love the person you are with. If I fall in love with an Asian man does it matter that he is Asian as long as I love him and he loves me. All I can hope for any one reguardless of who they marry is that they love each other for who they are and not what they are.
Roxana
I did not want him. I was only being polite. Then they started laughing and walked away hugging each other. I was like WTF was that about. He was blue black and not the best looking man I have seen but dang. Anyways...It is a shame that people would ask a presidential candidate why they chose their spouse. The obvious reason would be because they liked them, then fell in love. What nerve!
As far as hair and skin issues mentioned, you never know what interracial kids will look like. I seen some nearly as dark as me and with hair just as kinky as mine. Then I have seen them looking more like the fairer parent and no sign of the darker one. You just never really know.
I say date who you like for the right reasons. If you like & trust somebody then do it, if not don't.
I myself am attracted to a face type, a few to be exact. It won't matter what the man's race or whatever, if he has the look I will fall for it. I am not gay but even if a woman has the face type I will think "she is so pretty."
So I get what Dalexis is saying. 
