serious Question about friendship kinda long

OK well i have a friend that has been my bestie for like 8 years, this guy that i was with about 3 years ago found me and was tryin to talk to me again, and everything was all cool until my friend called me and was like i have a surprise for u and she brought him to my house so we all hung out and went home, that night she texted me and was like do u like steve and i said not really, then she said  do u mind if i *** him !! now we sometimes joke like that but then when i was like yea she kept going with it so i started to wonder, but then she said she was kidding. ok so the next day steve text me talkin bout I'm feelin ur girl and i wanna know if its ok that i talk to her WTF!!! so now im really buggin and tryin to find out whats really goin on. she tells me she dont know what he talkin bout and that they are just cool, so i text steve and ask him what is he thinkin bout tryin to talk to my friend, so he starts cussin me out talkin but im bein selfish and that i should look for someone who gives 2 ***** about me , now at this point im pissed and i just lay it on him and tell him to lose my number, i dont have a clue were all the anamosity came from. so then i ask her whats REALLY going on and she said nothing, so i dropped it and told her that i dont feel comfortable with her bein all buddy buddy and **** with him ( mind u its not like they were friend before hand she seen him like 3 times and that was 3 years ago) so she was like ok i wont talk to him no more, so today she textin me talkin bout her, steve and this other chick went out!!!! so i am pissed that she dont care about how i feel about the situation, and she texted me sayin " why cant i be Friends with somebody just because u was ****** him"  i told her that if she dont understand then forget about and i told her that if i gotta deal with that **** ill be my own friend cause if being his "friend" more important to her then i rather not deal with any of it.

now, am i in the wrong ur view on this will really help 

It depends on whether or not you are being honest about how you feel about ole dude.  If he is just some guy that you could give to ****s about, it shouldn't matter.

If he is still on your who can get it list, then you need to tell your friend.  be honest about what you are feeling.  She probably wants to do him.  I am confused though because you said she bought him over??????  Were they kicking it since yall broke up? Are they friends now?  Or is that how he found you through her?  Its a wierd situation

your friend asked you if you liked the guy.

you said not really.

at that point, why do you care if she ***** him? 

Every sisterhood is differrent, but as for me and mines though....that is a line we don't cross, regardless if dude was a jump off or true love. 

Thats true to.  I wouldn't do it.  But back in the day I had a friend sneak behind my  back to do a dude who was just a jump off for me.  It broke up our friendship because she I felt I couldn't trust her.  I didn't give a damn about ole boy, but the fact that she snuck and hid it made me despise her.

thats exactly my point, its not that i care about him but once apon a time i did so i feel that that line should never have even been talked about, and from what she told me he contacted her on myspace and asked her to pick him up

Okay,

    To be honest i was in a similar situation. BUT the dude and my friend was never together had never had relations or anything. He had a crush on her back in highschool then when he met me years later wanted to halla. Since i new she mentioned he had a crush on her back in the game I wanted to clear things with her when he asked me out. Long story short we ended up married with a child but her and i are no longer friends. Sometimes i sit back and try to figure out if there was something i could have done differently to preserve my friendship with her but when i layed all the cards out i realized that it wasnt until he showed how much of a stand up he was when he started to show her ass and hate on our relationship. Now if like you she would have said " Kecia you know what I dont like Courtney but I still dont feel comfortable with you talkin to him" I would have shut it down but instead her responce was " Gurl yes Courtney is a great guy but i dont think he cute"  and here we are. So no your friend should not be hangin with ole dude seeing as you guys were in an actual releationship at one point and time and she probaly already knows he is feeling her i'm sure he has told her. They've already talked about it prior to bringing to you.

yea thats what i know cause why would the both ask me the exact same **** anybody who knows me for more than 10 min knows im a loyal friend but at the same time i expect the same so im just gonna leave it at that

If I've had sex with someone in the past...doesn't matter when in the past, that person is off limits to my friends and vice versa.  It ain't even up for discussion and if one of my friend's doesn't understand that then um oh well.