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1.) The BACKLINES have backlines. Watch what you say and more importantly WHO YOU SAY IT TO!! 2.) There are NO secrets on BAF. DON'T BE FOOLED!!
3.) The person who says: "I'm going to tell you something, but you can't tell anyone." has already TOLD 50 other people!
No--this isn't from experience--well, not MINE anyway!
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This is an interesting post. As for the food, there are several folks that have given advice so, I won't comment - but just take it easy and don't try to overeat.
For the SO. Many Overweight people suffer from low self esteem and some lack self confidence. Only a mature man can really look past the outside (being overweight) and look into the inside to see the real person underneath. With that said, in my opinion, we all change after WLS - some of us get more attention than we have gotten in our lives after getting the new look. This attention is positive i.e. looks from men and women. I know that people that I do not know but, have seen me before have walked up to me and made comments about how good I look and of course they want to know what I did to loose the weight. These have been strangers and I basically say I started on a liquid diet and have ventured to a low carb / atkins diet. (As this is really not their business)
Interestingly, I visited my mom 4 months out from surgery and she basically said, you look fabulous and your husband had better make sure he has his shiot together. Now, I did not comment but, basically she was saying if he does anything crazy - as good as my daughter looks now, he better keep up or he will be replaced.
At this moment in my life, my plans are not to replace him but, I will tell you I have gotten a lot of looks and stares from men everywhere I go. Before WLS, I did not get any positive attention from anyone. This is a self esteem booster and I can see how a SO would want any of us to stay the way we were vs. them possibly having to compete for you or us becoming the center of attention.
My husband was supportive before the surgery and afterward he was supportive with helping me thru my dehydration, not wanting to exercise and depression. Now, he is estatic about the new me. We recently went to his jobs holiday party and after we left, he made the comment that it was SO refreshing for him to go the party with me and 'his' wife was not the biggest woman there. Now, we have NEVER had that discussion before so, I did not even know that it bothered him but, I guess deep down it did.
I also have taken my husband to a couple of support group meetings - primarily so that he could hear the perspective of others who have had the surgery and other SOs who were there to support them. This was a big help to him because I think when they hear others talking about their experience, then they know it is not just you.
In the beginning, it was hard for my husband to deal with all of the diet restrictions. He actually got upset because I did not want to join friends for dinner or go out to dinner with him. During the liquid/mush stage, going out to eat was/is a complete waste of money and time. I could not eat or drink anything. I did not realize until after surgery that dining was 99% of what we did with our friends almost weekly. At home we ate out 3 to 4 times a week and after surgery, all I wanted to do was sit on the couch - I did not want to cook either - fortunately it was in the summer and my kids were at grandmas so, it was just us. It was a hard summer until I was able to adjust to my new way of life. Now, at 7 months out & 80+ pds down, I can pretty much eat whatever I want in moderation & I make choices daily on what I will eat since I know that what I can eat is limited.
Remember, this is another transition not only for you but for him. Perhaps talking to folks that have gone thru this will help him too.
Hope this helps!
For the SO. Many Overweight people suffer from low self esteem and some lack self confidence. Only a mature man can really look past the outside (being overweight) and look into the inside to see the real person underneath. With that said, in my opinion, we all change after WLS - some of us get more attention than we have gotten in our lives after getting the new look. This attention is positive i.e. looks from men and women. I know that people that I do not know but, have seen me before have walked up to me and made comments about how good I look and of course they want to know what I did to loose the weight. These have been strangers and I basically say I started on a liquid diet and have ventured to a low carb / atkins diet. (As this is really not their business)
Interestingly, I visited my mom 4 months out from surgery and she basically said, you look fabulous and your husband had better make sure he has his shiot together. Now, I did not comment but, basically she was saying if he does anything crazy - as good as my daughter looks now, he better keep up or he will be replaced.
At this moment in my life, my plans are not to replace him but, I will tell you I have gotten a lot of looks and stares from men everywhere I go. Before WLS, I did not get any positive attention from anyone. This is a self esteem booster and I can see how a SO would want any of us to stay the way we were vs. them possibly having to compete for you or us becoming the center of attention.
My husband was supportive before the surgery and afterward he was supportive with helping me thru my dehydration, not wanting to exercise and depression. Now, he is estatic about the new me. We recently went to his jobs holiday party and after we left, he made the comment that it was SO refreshing for him to go the party with me and 'his' wife was not the biggest woman there. Now, we have NEVER had that discussion before so, I did not even know that it bothered him but, I guess deep down it did.
I also have taken my husband to a couple of support group meetings - primarily so that he could hear the perspective of others who have had the surgery and other SOs who were there to support them. This was a big help to him because I think when they hear others talking about their experience, then they know it is not just you.
In the beginning, it was hard for my husband to deal with all of the diet restrictions. He actually got upset because I did not want to join friends for dinner or go out to dinner with him. During the liquid/mush stage, going out to eat was/is a complete waste of money and time. I could not eat or drink anything. I did not realize until after surgery that dining was 99% of what we did with our friends almost weekly. At home we ate out 3 to 4 times a week and after surgery, all I wanted to do was sit on the couch - I did not want to cook either - fortunately it was in the summer and my kids were at grandmas so, it was just us. It was a hard summer until I was able to adjust to my new way of life. Now, at 7 months out & 80+ pds down, I can pretty much eat whatever I want in moderation & I make choices daily on what I will eat since I know that what I can eat is limited.
Remember, this is another transition not only for you but for him. Perhaps talking to folks that have gone thru this will help him too.
Hope this helps!
I appreciate your post. My mom said ths same thing to me and I echo your thoughts. I am giving him time. I know that this can be a difficult time for him as well. Interestingly, I am choosing to limit my social circles until I am back on regular foods. I like what you tell other folks when they ask you what you did to lose the weight. I have been dieting forever so I can tell them the usual...lo carb and hi protein.
See you got out of cooking. The day I came home from surgery, I cooked a meal for my two children and husband! I have cooked almost everyday...
Congrats on all your sucess pretty lady.
Keep Smiling
See you got out of cooking. The day I came home from surgery, I cooked a meal for my two children and husband! I have cooked almost everyday...
Congrats on all your sucess pretty lady.
Keep Smiling
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