When will I ever learn??????

I have a bad habit of trying to help folks.  It is my goal in 2009 to really work on this because it seems to me that some folks (not all) go out their way to take advantage of my kindness.

Case in point, yesterday, I was sitting around browsing the Internet (craiglist) because sometimes I find ads on there from someone who is looking for something that I have that I really just don't want to throw away because I remember how it was growing up doing without. Anyway came across this ad from this lady from northern VA who due to falling on hard times, was looking for someone who have some clothes to give her.  Now my first thought was a weightloss patient. I have some clothes in my trunk of my car that have not make it to the donation bins.  I emailed her and told her that I wasn't sure what size she was looking for but I had some clothes.  I told her to let me know what size she was looking for and if I have any then we could arrange to meet in a public place some where close to where I work or live. I told her that I lived in Greenbelt MD but worked in Arlington VA. She emailed me back and told me "

"i gained alot of weight and ive really started running out of things that i can wear during the day. i actually worked for the state and i had business clothes to wear but i got laid off so now i don't really have any casual wear.   I wear size 9 in jeans and large or XL in shirts.. large in sweats and i like hooded sweatshirts i like large or XL in those... Im not picky on asking for specific thing because i need lots of stuff. and with the fact that i don't work anymore the money that i mage to come up with and the money my boyfriend makes all goes to bils so there is nothing left over. and i cant ask my family for money for clothes or anything because their all going though the same thing plus all the girls in my family are a quite a bit smaller then i am so ive pretty much been wearing nice clothes around the house or the sweats i have so yeah."   Sounds like someone who would be really appreciative, I mean I can understand gaining weight and not having clothes to wear, a lot of us on this board been there, so I emailed her back and said, that she sound like she was about the same size as me, I really have more clothes than I will ever wear, if she give me some times to go through my closet, I am sure I will have some things that she can have.   Then I get a reply saying "if you could maybe tomorrow meet me at springfield mall. i would greatly appreciate it. i know thats far form MD but i really don't like to drive up north.   Hello...1.  I said give me time, and time is not the next day and 2.  I told you where I live and work..Springfield Mall is 30 miles from where I live, so you don't like to drive up north, but I who is doing you a favor should go out my way???   I am just venting because it seem that lately all my good deeds end up biting me in the azz and I end up just mad at my self all over again.   If you got this far, thanks for reading.      

 

I feel you on this one.  My new prayer for 2009 is not for a man or money or a new fabulous job but for discernment but it seems mugs can see me comin at a thousand paces.  Take a deep breath and thank the Lord that he showed you that this helpful act may not be for you.

Shay

Shay, you are right, I was just amazed, I guess all don't think like me, because if someone was giving me something free, I will bend over backwards to be available when they need me and would not have the nerves to try to pick a place that is convenient to me.  I took a deep breath and deleted the email.

LaVerne vent away. I understand completely. We have to learn to care from afar. It is not your job to go out of your way for this person. You were being generous and she is being demanding. I wouldn't contact her anymore because she is selfish.

I went through this Christmas with my niece. She is a big girl and always said that she wasn't a size 26 like I was but she was always wider than I was. She always dressed to the nines but she has fallen on hard times and don't you know she asked me for my old clothes. I told her that I had a few left because I sold some at a yard sale. She has called me twice about these clothes, she's never called me before.  I told her that when I can get the clothes and shoes together and put them in a box I will mail them.

Unfortunately I have learned the hard way..........
No GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.

Sorry

WOW!! Ungrateful, unappreciative, narcissistic, ewwwww..... she might not need or want the clothes.... good thing you saw that one coming.... I have a pet peeve about people expecting other people to do for them, instead of appreciating IF someone is kind enough to do something nice.... nah, you can let her figure it out on her own....

Well some of us you help are very appreciative!

"I really don't like to drive up north." LOL

Wow, heaven forbid that should would have to put in an extra effort to get clothes that would be well over the cost of gas.  I don't understand some folks.



I'm not giving of myself as much as I did last year. If the definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior and expecting different results that I have the answer.

STOP REPEATING THE SAME BEHAVIOR

My motto for 2009

More me....less you!! Yep, I'm gonna put my wants and needs first...what a concept


Miracles & Blessings,
Lena

give some people a ride and they want to drive.....this girl just does not get it does she.......
I started to type,
LaVerne, You bet not go to that mall she is requesting.....
But I don't know you well enough to say that you.  
So I will just say, thanks for venting.
God will bless your efforts even when your kindness is mistaken for weakness.  Some people are so inappreciative! (sp?)