Deeply Hurt...........

Dont give him that much control. You make the decision on whether or not you want this type of shallow person in your life. Nothing is going to be the same anyway....If he comes back and say "ok I can deal with it".....can you deal with him without second guessing yourself everytime you get intimate? Come on...... you know you are WAAAAAAAY better than that.........Make the decision and let him know before he has a chance to inform you of his.

I'm with the others, follow your heart.  As soon as I read your post I thought, what if they were married and she had never had problems with weight but after having a baby she developed a panni...would he stay or would she be too "soft" for him???  Just think about stuff like that.  If you get the tightness right for him what else will he have a problem with and need you to "fix"?  I know we are told that there is a male shortage in the world but really think about what you really want from a man and are willing to accept from one.  Unconditional love is loving someone you don't need to fix and you should start with loving you unconditionally.  Everything I'm saying to you, I'm also saying to myself.

I wish you the best girl...you deserve it.

OK, so I just read your posts and the majority of the comments in response to your situation. I say the majority because I could not finish because I am MAD AD HELL???!!! I normally try to be diplomatic but in this case I REFUSE to be.
Sweetie, you are ABSOLUTELY B E A U T I F U L.... tell him to kizz yo azz!!!! If he finds a problem with your "softness" then what the hell is his problem? Is he on the DL....the men I have known intimately have always cherished my softness and the smoothness of my skin. What man wants a total "hard body" except a gay one? The pic of you on your page with your lingerie shows that he should consider himself lucky that you would see him as special enough to give the most intimate parts of you. 
Don't fall for his BULLSHYT because it is there somewhere. He is giving himself the excuse to exit at a later time while trying to keep you caught up. Most of my friends are male and they say I think like one...whatever that means...brotha man either has some other things in the works as well but does not want to lose you while he "figures out what he is doing or how he feels"  Take away his options....you are a Queen and do not allow him or anyone else to make you feel less than that!
I am no where near as small as you are and although my sagging is not like a lot that I have seen, I could stand to be a bit more toned. All that exercise does not take care of will not get done for me. My personal choice. Any man that I am with especially intimately has to except every big, beautiful, saggy, flabby, spectacular inch of me. (it's really not that bad but you get my point) Life holds no guarantees...I was once morbidly obese; I am not anymore; however if I should become so, would you stop loving me because I do not look like Beyonce' or Halle'....you do not deserve a superficial type of love baby; and that seems to be what he is offering....if he all of a sudden became impotent or if his willy is not as large as you normally like it; how would he feel if you said that same bull**** to him?   THE HELL WITH HIM! 

Well Damn, I guess that's my answer....I'm just destined to be alone I guess. I'm not happy with that, but I do deserve better but the mold I need I guess has been BROKEN. Thank you all for your words of encouragement.....Although I really am feeling more DISCOURAGED than ever............And it's not your fault the truth JUST HURTS.......................




Thanks Everyone,,,,,,
Keisha  Je'Nae

No baby, you are not destined to be alone.  It's just that you deserve better!  Trust, if you attracted this guy, the right one will come along.  It took nearly 39 years (and I whined about that!) to find my soulmate, and believe me, he was definitely worth the wait.

In the meantime, do you!  Do everything you want to do because once you get married you may not have the opportunity to do all the things you wanted to do (because there's someone else to consider, life changes, children may come along, etc.).  Have fun, let go, and don't take any schitt from anyone, including any man!

Have a great day and a wonderful, fulfilling 2009!

Keisha, what God has for you, is for you, and you alone. No one else can claim it; nor can they take it away...just remember that it is in His timing, not ours. In the meantime, enjoy yourself and your accomplishment. I am sure the appreciative stares that you get as you are flaunting your stuff will soon make you forget about Mr."while I decide." Remember that every connection does not have to be a love connection, sometimes you just need that appreciative stare that a man can give you when he is looking like he can sop you up with a biscuit....go get your ego fed....you earned it. Have some fun...also take this time to discover who Keisha is now; because she is not the same as she used to be. When the time is right it will come

My husband and I had this conversation just the other day.  Many times women overlook the "good" man in search of the right man. Just because a brotha is handsome, articulate, professional, and communicates well doesn't mean he's the one for you.  Its amazing how one views takes on a  different dimension after a few words are spoken.

Too many of my friends have either been married and/or involved with a guy they are trying to convince / persuade they are the right cup of tea for him but forget to inform themselves they deserve so much more and should require a mofo to rise to their standards.  One of my dearest relative/friend has been involved with a n***a for nearly 18 yrs ( not to mention, has a 9 yr old daughter with him) and still wonders what can she do to convince him that they would have a wonderful life together as a married couple - my comment, N***A  PLEAZ!!! If had any intentions of doing right, he would have looooong time ago!

I've been there where I felt time was running out and I had to make this thing work before Father Time over ruled.  And because of that mindset, I settled and subjected myself to a lot of
unnecessary bullshiot!  A real man is going to love you regardless and will support you weither "thick" or thin. 

So after you punched him in the mouth, what did he say? LOL

Girl, drop him. He's probably gay, and has a little thingy. LOL

Hello, sweet heart you are not destined to be alone. Hold that head up because you are destined for greatness. If he can't see how pretty you are inside and out he's blind. Don't stop you will get what you want. The mold is not broke it's just getting polished.