My usual as the end for 2008
on 12/31/08 1:42 pm
Just got home from a disastrous first date. On the advice of Juanita/WonkaD I updated an on-line dating profile, changed up some pics, didn't come across as quite so serious. When the hell will I learn, dating is not one of those things I do well. When will I learn to pick up on those red flags presented to me. My first clue should have been when he mentioned he was parked in a handicapped spot...silly me, I thought it would be so it would be easier to find him. But no, maybe it was because he has a VERY pronounced limp, one that even I, the Queen of Bluntness couldn't even ask about. Ummm, did he forget to mention this little tid bit in our LONG phone converstions? Then brother man scarfed the food down off his plate like it was going to run from him. Did I mention he used his fingers. And no disrespect to my brothers and sisters in Christ, but he prayed before the salad and the entree at the Olive Garden..
When will l accept that not everyone out there has a soul mate. Maybe I am one of those people meant to remain single. All of my horrible first dates are starting to lose their humorous aspects and are just plain ole sad.
on 12/31/08 2:07 pm
Girl that sounds like one of my dates and I'm like you...I don't see the humor anymore. I keep telling myself I have to kiss abunch of toads to get my prince but damn my lips are chapped. I'm on break from dating for now. I'll just continue to work on me so I can be able to burn that first red flag.
Angie
on 12/31/08 2:23 pm
i took a good 6 months off from dating, and tonight I am left wondering why i didn't let the hiatus run a little longer.
on 12/31/08 2:18 pm
(It's a New Year--I'm contemplating--should I take off the kid gloves and let you have it? Or "cojelo suave"?)
It's no matter.
Sorry about your disastrous first date.
FIRST date.
(They're never called "LAST" dates, because you're SUPPOSED to have more than one.)
Let's put things in their proper perspective.
Were you TRULY looking to meet your soul mate on your first date?
Think about it.
I'm sure you deserve ALL it is that you want and are looking for, but Michelle--you have to go through the SAME trials and tribulations we ALL have when it comes to finding that special someone.
So--think about it--the chances of your date for the evening being your soul mate werent really in your favor. It really doesn't matter WHO the person was.
If I may make a suggestion;
Just......"cojelo suave"......take it easy.
Chances are, if you go on every date looking for your soul mate, you'll either scare off potential candidates, or attract the ones you REALLY don't want.
Please don't give up.
and.....if you honestly feel and start to believe that you ARE "...one of those people meant to remain single..." it JUST. MIGHT. HAPPEN.
(it won't--trust me. the minute you give up o your search, you'll be TRIPPING over them--BELIEVE ME. Just......cojelo suave.
And your date for the evening gave you a glimpse of what you DON'T want.
(Maybe.)
He parked in a handicap space...
had a limp...
scarfed down his food (using his fingers)
and prayed before the entree.
and you're going to give up? C'mon!!
(and believe what i said--you'll look back on this one day and see that you've run into FAR WORSE!!)
So...
....ask yourself what you want and keep in mind that it'll take time. No "soul mate searching" on the FIRST date.
(or the second, third or fourth!)
Have fun.
Happy New Year.
(And for what it's worth--I feel you on the "witholding information"--call it cruel, but **** I'd like to know too!!)
1.) The BACKLINES have backlines. Watch what you say and more importantly WHO YOU SAY IT TO!! 2.) There are NO secrets on BAF. DON'T BE FOOLED!!
3.) The person who says: "I'm going to tell you something, but you can't tell anyone." has already TOLD 50 other people!
No--this isn't from experience--well, not MINE anyway!
on 12/31/08 2:34 pm
First off, I am a nurse and he knew this info-if you have a handicap or disability why hide that information?
Secondly, he mentioned how he had met women that he couldn't take places, that they had no manners, call me crazy for being slightly offended watching you eat food not meant to be a finger food with your hands.
Third, (remember lengthy phone calls) he was aware that I am not what you would call a bible thumper. As I recall I mentioned going through a "spiritual crisis" we talked about this in great detail. I guess I understand giving grace prior to partaking of a meal, but each course?
No I don't think each first date will lead to meeting "The One" but I do expect that I meet the person I had a conversation with.
Now believe me there was more, but in my slightly drunken stupor (yes I drank a bottle of wine by myself after getting home) has slightly furred the edges and these were the high points I could remember at the time, and I am hoping the alcohol will help to burn the more offensive images from my memory by the time I wake.
Have yourself a happy New Year as well.
No need for the tough skin--I was kidding. Not my style.
I hear you wholeheartedly on the whole conversation/expectation aspect--we've been there before!
Your feelings on the way the evening went were definetely warranted.
--Just don't want you to throw in the towel just yet, that's all.
My sincere apologies if I managed to offend in any way--again--not my style. Take care.
1.) The BACKLINES have backlines. Watch what you say and more importantly WHO YOU SAY IT TO!! 2.) There are NO secrets on BAF. DON'T BE FOOLED!!
3.) The person who says: "I'm going to tell you something, but you can't tell anyone." has already TOLD 50 other people!
No--this isn't from experience--well, not MINE anyway!
Stop looking for the "one" and find someone you can talk to and maybe hangout with, friendship seems to be underrated. Stop all this talk of soul mates and all; I know we aren't gettin any younger and all that but running around with our hopes and dreams on our shoulders makes us easy marks.
I had this whole other post because the "limp" got me; but it went bye bye. Think of from his point of view, your career choice has nothing at all to do with his disability. I know from watching and living with my sister; that is something really hard to lay out there and rejection hurts and maybe more if you already feel cheated by life.
Okay here is my soapbox dismount....put down the wine (or most certainly don't pick up another bottle) and try to go with the flow. This was just a date, a chance to get to know someone in the physical realm instead of cyberspace or by phone. What it was NOT was your last shot at happiness. And Apple that goes for you too...lol, I know some of the families of the men you might be dating, all you can do is shake your head and laugh. It'll make you feel better.
on 12/31/08 3:47 pm
Angie
