help!!!

I had my appointment today with the surgeon and I took my boyfriend as my support person.  This turns out to be a big mistake.  My boyfriend is straight up getto and curses every other word on a regular.  And he doesn't know when to turn it off.  But anyway,  I was hoping the surgeon could help me make a decision one way or the other.  Lapband or RNY.  While the MD was describing the procedures and the risks so on and so forth my boyfriend starts to act up (getto) and starting trying to make my decision for me saying I am having the lap band because they don't have to cut into my stomach and it is safer.  When I was trying to tell the surgeon that I am leaning more toward the RNY the man is not letting me talk and it just turned into a disaster.  The MD finally gave me both consent forms the Lapband and the RNY and told me to go home and think about it some more and call them back later.  I am so upset.  

My question to you all is how did you deal with everyone that was against your decision.  My family supports me but they all feel I should have the Lap Band not just my boyfriend but my whole family.  I am more confused now than ever.  I pretty much had my mind made up....I want to have the RNY but when I am listening to my family then it makes it hard.  I know this decision is for me to make only but it is hard.    

 

This surgery is for YOU!  Research and decide which surgery is best for you.
You won't be able to please everybody.

Sheena, I feel your pain.  BUT realize like Kim said, this surgery is for you.  You are the ONLY one who can make the decision that is best for you.

You are good, because I did my research by myself, made my decision by myself, etc.  When I had a date scheduled, that's when I told ONLY my mother and my than boyfriend.  To this day, some folks know and some folks don't.  I keep it that way because I don't want to hear the negative comments.

This is about you.  Personally, I would never have taken my boyfriend with me.  You apparently know how he is, so you really shouldn't be shocked that it turned out the way it did.

Just don't let anyone influence your decision.  No ONE.  If you do, you will regret it down the line.

I pray that you are able to find peace in this situation.

Kim

Thank you kim.  I have done the research I am going to contact the surgeon's office on Monday and inform them that I plan to go with the RNY but it is just hard to feel good about your decision when everyone says they support you but all are against the decision you make.

Do me a favor?  Grab a sheet of paper....right out your top five strengths and your five weaknesses. Meditate on them.  Then on the back of the paper draw a line....write RNY on one side and LapBand on the other.....write down the pros and cons of both surgeries....compare those to your strengths and weaknesses and YOU will determine which procedure is better for you LIFESTYLE!

Your doctor has given you the go ahead for both surgeries. So now it is up to YOU to decide which one he is to perform.

Thanks DeDee.  I will try this tonight when I get home.   like I said before I am pretty much going to have the RNY and let my fears go.  So many people that I know and here on this website have done well with little or no complications.  The only reason I even considered the Band is because it is less invasive and an easier surgery.  But I already know me and I don't think I will be as successful with the band as the RNY because there is less restriction.  But thank everyone for your support. 

It is important to focus on yourself.  A lot of times people are afraid of the unknown and can give you 5th hand stories from a distant cousin who got it from their best friend's mother.  It is important to realize this is for you. I learned early on I could not share my situation with everyone and found BAF to be the best place because everyone understood. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

You are so right.  Thank you.  Now I know what MY biggest mistake was....telling everyone!  now everybody want to give their opinions and thoughts.   My friends always told me I couldn't hold water...lol   I guess they were right.  I am making up my mind right now and that is to not care so much what other people think.  I know deep down RNY is the right choice for me because I know I will not be happy with the results of the Lap Band.  

Congratulations on taking another step along the path of change that you have chosen.  Deciding to have any surgery was one  big step, now declaring for yourself the kind you will have is another.   You absolutely do not want to go through the pain and trials of this process to get an unsatisfactory result -- do the very best that you can for yourself;  accept nothing less on your behalf but your best efforts.

Above all, feel good about being a strong woman who is making sound choices to take care of your body.  Underscore that -- YOUR BODY!  You are the owner and nobody gets to pin their opinions to it.

Peace and Blessings,

I had to come to the realization that hello!. . . . I didn't need to tell anyone cause it was none of their business! At first I felt obligated to tell my family because, well, I thought I was just supposed to. But then I realized that this was about me and I did not want anyone to influence my decision one way or another. You know people who love you are going to favor the band because they feel that it is "safer." I did not tell anyone except my boyfriend and select co workers. Not my mom, siblings, cousins, none of them. Because I knew that all I was going to hear was DEATH!!! Well, I got RNY on Dec 3rd, doing great, down 30 lbs and only those same people know! I made the decision solely on my own and could not be happier. P.S.- some boyfriends get a little fickle down the line after WLS, so make sure you do WHAT YOU WANT TO DO FOR YOURSELF! I hope you guys stay together forever but a lot of relationships change drastically after the surgery and you don't want to have made this decision for someone that flips the script on you!!!