It's been a year already......lil long

 

One year ago tomorrow my life changed in a lot of ways.   Be patient with me family. Wake up call day:  picture it, September 2006, Atlanta, Georgia, we’re at war.   The entire bosom crew is outside some cute little restaurant, we stop and take a picture (isn’t it always a picture?) felt pretty daggum cute until presented with the evidence. Lamont-self say hey isn’t at least one out every 4 women obese? Fred-self say yeah, so? Lamont-self say, c’mere, look at this pic one mo gain. Fred-self say okay dummy, what am I lookin for? Lamont-self sighs loudly then say, keep lookin, count em up, there’s you, mudda, doob and nike……lamont-self taps foot impatiently. Fred-self say oh lawd, it’s me, I’M the fat girl in the crew??? Fred-self puts head down: d’oh! I’m the fat girl in the crew.  ELIZABETH!!! I’m comin ELIZABETH!!    

Up until then I’d actually had the nerve to walk around thinking of both selves as a size medium (use your air quotes here).    Remember when you saw that will smith movie where there’s nobody and nothing else alive on the planet, but then you see his car?  his freshly washed, polished, buffed, detailed car and your lamont self whispers:  um, if errybody dead, who runnin the car wash and more importantly, why?  Yeah, thas what my brain did when it came to acknowledging my size, just skipped over the logical part. 
Thankfully I had no co-morbids but that only made it easier to struggle over justifying surgery. B why are you so lazy? you can knock this out if you just rebuke some cheesecake and move your azz.     Anybody remember cabbage soup? phen-fen? grapefruit diets? 2 for 1 gym memberships in January? Yeah me too. didn’t wanna fight anymore Jeebus, I just needed it to be over for good.  So a year ago today I was on a plane to San Antonio, Texas, knowing I’d return a changed person.   I have changed since then:
1.       The ocd hasn’t actually gotten better, i still dig lists and hoard stuff. 
2.       I turned 40 last july and unless you get a look at the bingo arms and don’t stare too hard on the right side in direct sunlight, you’d never know it. 
3.       I poot more often (and more toxically).
4.       Started showin up to the school plays dressed like a whoo-er.
5.       My *other* chin vanished
6.       I got a tattoo of a queen bee wearing a crown and holding a scepter (b’s my first initial) only i think my artist was from a country where bumble bees are a different color cuz mine is black and ORANGE .  
7.       While I was recovering I fought my parents for custody of my only child and baybeeee, <-- up until this moment rightchere I loved surprises okay? (like to call this the thrilla in manila cuz even when ya throw 2 bad asses in the ring, there’s still only ONE champ, quit playin).  8.       I’ve met so many people here with such kind and genuine words of support and humor and flat out palms up, open hearts. You all have made me feel that I’m not in this and many other struggles alone and together and individually we’re stronger than we know (insert mclurkin music here).   I just wanted to send a quick thank you and tell that even if you don’t see me, I see you. 9.       Last but not least due to limited attention span I’m notorious for abandoning a post (sorry) don’t say anything time sensitive okay? 
10.   Have a joyous and merry Hanuchristmakwaaanzaka! Nice to re-meetcha.  p.s. as the shameless mother of a 9 year old brownie I’m obligated to mention that “we" are hawking cookies @ 3.50 a box. Hit me on the b/l if you’d like to help support my girl scout.   b

Girl, I had to take my time and read all that.  LOL!  Geesh!  You are a MESS!  But a beautiful heep of mess nevertheless!!

Happy 1st surgiversary.  And I am just appeasing you because I know you didn't have WLS! 

Lying arse!

at a lack for words i ain't. 

y'uh huh!!    

thankya m'luv.  p.s. santa's baby?  it works gurl, hope you get whatcha want unda that tree ;) 

Congrats "Queen B" on your one year mile stone... Keep doin' your thang, makin it do what it do!
E~

  E!   thank you for the well wishes darln!  whatcha think bout officially changing Christmas colors to pink and green??  LOL!!

Hey Girlie!!!!
That get's my vote... My christmas tree is decorated with all pink and green things (a few white/green/pink pieces), but the theme is AKA... 

Merry AKA Christmas 

E~ 

Happy surgiversary and thanks for the good reading so early in the morning

Karen

karen thank you sweetie!  if i don't see ya again, happy holidays!!

Marlo, there are only a few folks on here that I actually read the long ones for....you are one of them cause you always have me on the floor laughing. You have such a way with words 

I can soooo relate to your 'Fred/Lamont moment' regarding  the pic.  ***how the hell did I think I was cute back then?????

Anyway, you have done an awesome job working your tool.  You are such a beautiful person...it comes through in your words!

Congrats on your journey!

BTW - you are soooo wrong for the shameless cookie sales... on BAF no less. 

kimmie!!!  hi gurl!  look, i'm trying to take it down a notch (the bf calls it puppy dog enthusiasm) anteeeehooo    

thank you m'darl, you have made this easy for real, gigglin at ya'll gotta be good for a gang o calories erry day.

chile i wish i could say i was ashamed and embarrassed but it's mothalove, don't knock a baby's hustle!  (shyt i wish i would go door to door in some dayum 20 degree weather)