Have a question and don't mean to offend.....just asking

OK guys I'm usually just a lurker and I think you guys are great but I've got a question for you.  I'm pre-op and have so many conversations as to why I should not have this surgery.  I'm gotten stronger with dealing with the negative people but one comment has bothered me a bit.  A lot of people say that the surgery ages you and makes you look sickly (yes this question is totally vanity inspired) I can't help it I'm only 30 and still want to look good I've been fat for so long I'm ready for a little bit of dime piece attention.  So I've seen and met people you have had the surgery and I'd say it's about a 50/50 split some people do look bad and others don't.  How can I make my upcoming weight loss successful in the looks department I know what I should do health wise ( whatever my doctor says) but what about the other stuff.  I feel a little silly writing this because it does seem a bit trivial but it's real I can make no apologies for my thought process.  Thanks for your input

I don't know how improving your health ages you but if anything it made me younger.   I had so many medical problems it was crazy.  My doctor told me I had the health of a 73 year old woman.  I was taking 154 pills a week because I had so many health problems.  You name it i had it.

Having said all that I will say.  I have bags under my eyes now that I did not have before surgery but the bags under my eyes were a great trade off for better health.

If you are tired of hearing the negative stuff you should stop telling people because they are going to say negative stuff cause they don't want you to get thin and cute.  God Forbid.

I have viewed sooo many profiles and can honesty say that in African American women that they either look the same or a little younger...With white women, nothing against race, I see a 50/50...I have yet to see one black female on here that I though looked older after surgery or that I thought should have not had the surgery..You are 30 and I would imagine that you snap back fine..I am not sure what you look like now but you should be fine..Exercise and drink plenty of water..I am now 285 and when I was 208 about 2 years ago I looked very young... I used to get 18 and 19 but I look young now and even before losing weight.. FYI- I lost weight on my own before and gained is ALL back...Good luck..To be honesty I would rather look older and slim than look young and be big.

Ummm - keep looking through profiles of the ladies of BAF - I ain't vain or nothing but er ummm uhhhh

IMMA HOT MOFO THESE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

386 to current 186..... 200lbs down and FIONE than a mofo!!!! I don't look sick at all (you gotta get to know me to know I am sick in the head..... LOL!!!)

It CAN be done!!!!  IF you work the right plan.......

I guess this is one of those moments where you have to decide if youre more concerned with the overall health of your body or the possibility of excess skin and other people's perception of you.  I have to agree with what most of the women on here are saying...as far as the black females I've come across they actually look younger, healthier, and of course happier. Everyone's body is shaped differently. I've accepted that I'm going to have to have some cosmetic surgery in the future but for now I'm content and happy. I've posted recently a picture of myself after just a 40lb loss. Take a look...I think personally that I look WAAAYYY better ;)

I've noticed some excess skin but it hasnt even been 2months my body needs a chance to grasp on to the changes. I'm planning on having a breast reduction and tummy tuck in 2 years but other than that I'll appreciate every wrinkly and saggy skin if it means that I'm healthy and happier. :)

WELL IN YOUR DEFENSE WE ALL THINK ABOUT AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER UPON HAVING THE SURGERY, BUT WHEN I "DECIDED" TO HAVE THE SURGERY I DID IT MAINLY(90%) FOR HEALTH REASONS CAUSE I FELT AS LONG AS I FEEL GOOD, I WAS O.K. I ALSO FELT THAT IF I LOOKED DECENT BIGGER THAT I WOULD LOOK O.K. SMALLER. BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER ANYWAY SOO WITH THAT BEING SAID YOUR HEALTH SHOULD BE MORE OF A PRIORITY THAT YOUR LOOKS CAUSE THERE IS SOMEBODY FOR EVERYBODY. ALSO LIKE MM SAID I THINK I AM A LOT YOUNGER LOOKING AND HOT AS HELL!!! LOL!

Okay...

I have to agree with Mack Mama... I LOOKED fine then at 338 but NOW I'M HAWT AND I KNOW IT AND I AIN'T TO PROUD TO SHOW IT...  CAUSE I.... Sorry sis... I got caught up in a song... LOL... At any rate... On the serious tip... To me... It wasn't all about what the hell I looked like because I always felt that if you love me now... you love me STILL... So damn what I look like to anybody... Vonda got tired of taking all that medication that was only killing me...  Vonda is going to Disney World in 7 mo days with her family and I want to get on a ride and enjoy my family... I didn't want to not get on a ride with my of my children on to get on it and they couldn't close the safety device because I was to big... Or get on a ride that says... "If you have HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE do not RIDE"...

If you focus on LOOKS you will FELL!!! Worry about the health first sis...

Much love,
Vonda

P.S... Remember this is BAF... we gone say what we wanna say... Positive or Negative... WE BLACK FOLK...  LOL

Vonda,

Let me tell you about going to an amusement park after losing weight.

IT WAS FREAKIN AWESOME.

I went to Six Flaggs over TX back in Sept and acted like was 8 years old and just tall enough to ride the big boy rides.  I rode every thing that i was too big to fit in a year ago, and wanted to ride more and couldnt cause they had to go and close the damn park.  Who do they think they are, talking about they was tired and wanted to go home

I am a lurker lately myself.  Since I'm home I thought I'd respond, lol!!

I'm a very real person so I will say that I had surgery for vanity reasons. I didn't have any co-morbidites. I wasn't on pills, I didn't have high blood pressure, diabetes..etc. I just got tired of hearing "you have such a pretty face." I'm just being real!! I guess whether your skin sags or not depends on the elasticity in your skin and on your genes. Fortunately, everyone's testimony isn't the same. Just because one person sagged doesn't mean the other one will and vice versa. You just have to go for yours and hopefully, you will get the results you want. I've lost 200lbs and I'm feeling kinda fly.....as I listen to Beyonce sing Ego, lol


Go Well,
Lena

I had WLS to relieve myself of several health problems, but it has taken YEARS off of me.  Granted, I'm only 29 but before surgery I looked old!  Now, I swear I get carded everytime at the liquor store.  I look younger than my nieces lol.