OT: I've turned into such an a$$hole...need advice

Tell me why I've turned into such an a$$ since my WLS. I had a perfectly good man and got caught slippin with another one. My man did the cell phone check and found some texts from someone else. Of course he is pissed to say the least and left my house with the never want to see you again goodbye. I never would have tried to juggle before I lost weight now it seems that it's so hard to ignore the new attention. Although I just went on a couple dates with the other guy, he is texting me like he's really with me on a serious level. I know that if the same was done to me I'd react the same way my guy did but anyone have any advice on how to smooth that one over? I messed up and need to show him that I am sorry and won't do it again. Has anyone else had trouble turning down all the new attention?

Nope, b/c attention was not NEW to me....I had not been obese all my life and even when I was obese, I still got hit on by all types of men.....

Chances are, if you had a good, faithful, trustworthy, man, it really is over ~sigh~

I think  people make this mistake b/c they don't give themselves attention....I have always been the type of biotch to look in the mirror and say, "Dayum Dee looking mighty fly!" So when I stepped in the club, a male saying that to me and trying to buy me a drink did not IMPRESS me....it was more like "Thank you, Handsome, now let me BUY YOU a drink!"

I never let attention go to my head.


ETA: Some may say this is a form of addiction transfer linked to WLS....some may say ~I hate this dayum word~ it's called unleashing your inner-*****~Did I say I hate that word~.  I simply think this happens because of SELF-NEGLECT!

Thanks Dee, I think I definitely let the attention take over. I got attention before but it was for the wrong reasons. I'm finaally able to look in the mirror without being disgusted so maybe I wil try to tell myself how much I love me.

and I love you toooooooo ~smooches~

He deserves to be upset, give him a minute.  When/if he's willing to listen, sit him down and explain it all.  The newfound confidence, attention....you just let it get to your head and temporarily cloud your judgement. 

Hmmmm.....which is greater?  The need to smooth things over with your current man or the need to go out, have fun and casually date?

Decisions, decisions....yes, the new attention can be overwhelming and enticing but if what you already have is important to you then you'll be focused on that when other attention comes your way.

Two things:  One, what would you do if the shoe were on the other foot?  I know u said you'd leave, too, but would you take him back if he tried to smooth things over?  Second, he has to be willing to want to smooth things over with you. 

As you know, once the trust is gone, its very difficult to regain it.  Especially if he may have had some insecurity about your weight loss anyway. 

Ultimately, its up to him whether he wants to come back or not; all the smoothing it out in the world won't help if he doesn't think he can trust you.  

I also want to say, he has insecurity issues anyway cause his asse had no business in her celly ~just saying~

Seek and ye shall find

I agree.....

Don't look for it let it find you!!!!

That's true too!

Ahhh....    Some women always say a way of justifying what they did if their man is the one catching them out there.  But if a woman caught her man that way, no one would say a word about that female doing the initial checking.