OT...First date advice...how to not go into sex (talk or act)

Amen to that!  Plus there is something to be said about the anticipation of actually getting to it. When you take your time and allow the anticipation to build the sex can be BETTER actually because you will be connected on both a mental and physical level.

Thats where I am KT.  I like the anticipation build up and then BAM!!!!  Unfortunately after the bam all of the meaningful talks and walks are out the window.

D,

You bring up a good point and I am glad you responded.  I honestly went through the I don't give a damn I just want to have a good time thing.  But I have been separated for 8 months now and I want something more serious.

I don't want to jump into sex too soon.  Don't want to act like I don't like it, don't want to act like i am not feeling it if I do,, but also don't want that to be the connecting factor.

Men will give you what you ask for. If you put out that vibe...then they will happily give you sex and little more.  If you want more then you have to show some respect for youself and carry yourself and act like the lady or serious prospect that you wish to be considered because if you don't why should they bother?

There will be some that walk away and quit calling because all they want is sex...let them go unless that's what you want because if that is all they are looking to you for...you can't change it.

Good point Miz D.  I do feel that I carry myself with respect, and I bring a lot to the table.  But it seems that once the sex door is opened, thats all that people want to do or talk about.  I really want to know how to avoid that????

How is it that you can go on several dates with a dude, he calls all the time, talks about all kinds of things, but after sex thats all he want to talk about?  I would like to say it was something wrong with him, but its happened more than once.
 

 AND  

I think you first need to see where his head is at. If he is looking for something serious or just looking for sex buddy. If he is just looking for a sex buddy not talking about it will not change him into wanting more. If he is at the point in his life that he is looking for more than talking about it won't change his outlook either. IMO. I do think that its important to not have sex too soon with a man you are interested in. Then you run the chance that he will lose respect for you and put you in the "friend" category. What I say when I am waiting is just that. I am waiting are you ok with this? Its either a yes or a no.

Understood.  Thanks for the reply KT

Good Advice MIZ D......

D - ok that depends on the situation of the marriage and all the cards that go into play as far as a relationship after a failed marriage that is NOT always the case! you don't know what has caused the marriage to fail AND how long the marriage was failing...many times a marriage failed wayyy before you actually divorced and you know that in your mind

Brenda.....I would communicate these feelings to mr man....let him know what you want out of this and tell him you are NOT looking for the SEX partner kinda thing unless that is what you want now D was right on on that!

Kelly,
The only reason I said going into a long-term, for keeps relationship soon after a failed marraige is because of a possible rebound factor.   From my own experience (and those of others I've spoken to/with), sometimes if one finds that "Things I Missed At Home" factor, sometimes we tend to gravitate toward that and "fall" for it. 

For me, the months after my failed marraige were a biotch.