Anyone else in the why bother mentality?

I admire your strength and the beauty of your marriage which is a rarity in today's world.  I think it's somewhat easier for people that married or been with the same person since they were young.  They haven't experienced the freedom and irresponsibility of not having to deal with anyone. 

It makes us selfish and uncompromising because we learn to be okay single and alone.

^5 to that Taw!  I have been solo so long - I don't really know HOW to adjust to another mofo!  And my mama ain't NO help - that heffa been single since she found out she was preggo with me!!!!

Ok I am single and know exactly what you mean. I have a very full and busy life.  I have great friends and a large family that keeps me so busy.  As far as getting married I am ok if I do ok if I don't. It doesn't rule my existance. Which I think is a good thing.  I had a really really bad relationship a few years back that almost killed me. Literally. It took me a long long long time to get over it. I still have bad dreams sometimes because of it. Anywho... I came out of that situation and I have vowed to never go back.  So now if a man is not willing to step up to the plate and do right by me. I say NEXT and keep it moving. I am comfortable and secure enough with myself to be by myself. But I also know my worth and I know I will be an excellent girlfriend or wife to the right man. And I owe it to whoever that future person will be to stop damaging myself with toxic, not going anywhere, dysfunctional relationships.  

I feel you too on this.  I've been married to my son's father and we are just now filing for divorce after a 4 year separation.  But I have a live in boy friend now for a little over a year.  And I thought I had to have a man to be happy but the truth is I definately was not happy in my marriage.  I think I only married him because he was my son's father and he probably only married me to stop the child support.  And as far as the current relationship goes, depends on the day.  Sometimes I love him but most times lately I can't stand him.  But I am at the point now too that I ask myself why bother.  I truly believe it is only for the dina-ling!  But I was much happier when I had friends that came by when I wanted them to.  I was tricking myself into thinking I would be happier in a relationship. 

Sheena, you know there's life on the other side, right? If you can't stand him then don't dawlin!  Life is too short, too hard, too much and too blessed all at the same time to put up with someone who stresses you.  Just think about it.

Shay,  you are so right and all my home girls here tell me the same thing.  problem is I've been trying to get him to leave peacefully.  I am working on it though.

I am so glad I didn't get married until I was "36", and my son was grown and out the house... I was a homeowner BEFORE I got married, and this allowed me PLENTY of ME time... I am OH so thankful my hubby son is grown so NO BABY MAMA DRAMA.............. I am also "O SO GLAD" I didn't met my hubby until I was about a year post-op before that time BABEEEEEEE I was a "HO' in the works..... There are those days I sit there and say "Why in the hell" did I get married BUT the good TOTALLY outweigh the bad, BUT I must include how the dating scene has changed within the last few years and I really feel that if I was to divorce or become a widower I will be single for the REST of my life....No time for the drama, and dating a brotha and realizing later he is SO FULL OF SH***.... 

Taw,

If this is a desire of the heart and you've prayed on it then God will deliver it. Trust that!!!!!!

The drama and things in a marriage are all common its not easy but if it is the right man it will be worth it.

The right man won't smother you he'll allow you to do you and won't let you get lost in the hustle and bustle of the world.

Just like loving your son comes w/ work so will loving the man God has for you will come w/ work as well.

If "if" was a fifth we'd all be drunk!!

I'm cool w/ where I am right now; I'm thankful that i'm here to fight the good fight and for all my bruises bumps and scrapes. I look forward to being a father and a husband and her best friend!

ELB WHAT IT DO SHAWTYYYYYY

 You just made some of the ladies on this board swoon!  LOL

You are something else.

Hey did you get my email I haven't heard from ya?

Is swooning a good thing or bad thing?

I think the smiley says it all right?????

lolololololoooolllooollol.......

I didn't get ya e'mail though!