My poor son...need men's input PLEASE

YaYa,
While I have never personally been in that position, all I can say is that, since the girl isn't going to give up the baby or terminate the pregnancy, he is going to have to get ready to have that child in his life.  The adult thing to do is going to be to "man up" and take care of his responsibility voluntarily.   I'm not sure about the child support laws there, so it would probably be best for him to do whatever it takes (another job, maybe going back to school, whatever...) to do this.  In the future, however, he is going to have to learn to put a bag on that soldier and not ever rely on her (or whomever) for contraception. 

I hope everything works out, though, and that he DOES, indeed, do the right thing by that child if the girl does decide to give birth. 

Thank you...I didn't give you all the info...he is going back to school and exploring other career opportunities.

He has always had the speech about protecting HIM...in fact, he knows he is a product of failed birth control..so that was not an issue....BUT I can't put the damn condom on him when he's getting ready to get some SO this is his hard lesson learned...PERIOD.

Still...he IS MY SON and I hate to see him like this and I'm trying to talk to him....just having a hard time and wanted some male input. In the end...he will do everything to support his child...I know that.

WOW.

Will I've never been in this situation, but you say she plans on having the baby, which is a good thing, but does she plan on raising the baby with your son? How serious of a relationship are they in?

Not to sound like an azz, but it happens....but how sure is he that he's the father? Just a question.  I can only suggest that he have a real talk with her so they can plan the best option for the care of the child.  If she retains care of that child, then now it falls on your son to go out and grind to make sure the baby have it's needs met.  Try not to fall in the trap of having you, your husband and her parents do all of the work.  Some young parents think they can chill after having a child because the grandparents take over.

I know first hand. My mother had me 6 days after her 16th birthday and to this day, I consider my grandparents my Parents.  So all in all, they has to do what's best for the child when he/she arrives.

THANK YOU JUICE

That was a real HEARTFELT response...and I appreciate it...from the male point of view!

REAL TALK
They will most likely NOT make it...and he knows that I CAN'T help him and he has to take care of this child PERIOD. My son is very family oreinted and owns up to his responsibility...he knows he ****** up...he knows he has to deal with it...and he damn sure knows what he needs to do in the future (even tho he already "knew" before this) to prevent this from happening again!

REAL TALK
I was 15 when I had my son...got pregnant while taking oral contraceptives...his father and I had another child (my daughter) together but ultimately didn't stay together. WE were a rare case...never had a child support issue...we just took care of the children collectively. WE RAISED OUR KIDS...we worked our asses off...we finished high school...we finished college...we always had our own places and shared custody of the children...NO COURTS EVER. We were an exception to the rule...he thinks it will be like that for him and her...I'm thinking NO!!!

REAL TALK
My daughter had my G-baby at 17 graduated from high school with honors...started college and had a 3.5...now she's ******G UP and I have my G-baby with the help of other family members we're raising him till she snapps the **** out of it BUT I TOLD BOTH OF THEM.....I just can't do it again...NO MORE KIDS....it's taking all I have to hold this family together and their father is there sharing the responsibility as well...and he's hurting just as much as I am...maybe more becasue he's more emotional than I am.

I know...I know...you didn't ask for all this BUT your response was one of true intention to advise me and I appreciate it. My son and I have a connection that is STRONG and I feel his pain...and yet I'm a woman and understand her struggle emotionally too. NOBODY could have told me to end my pregnancies....OMG do you see where I'm torn???

YaYa,

All I can say is, if you are a praying person, get down on your knees mom. 

Praying for you, your son and this situation.

Thank you and beieve me that's probably the ONLY reason I'm still standing

I found myself in a very similar situation...

I was messing around with a woman having unprotected sex........................and she comes up pregnant.

After the shock wore off...I finally came to the realization that I was going to be a "father"...and I must now "man up".  A child was coming into the world, not through any fault of it's own...but because of "my" actions....

I took responsibility as a man...and handled my business...with my Father in Heaven's help...

That child that I loved, cherished, paddled, feed, sheltered and protected...with my Father in Heaven's help...is now off getting her PhD...and I still love to hear her when she calls and says, just as she did as a child..."Hi Daddy"!!!

 Doug, please dont do this again to me in the middle of the day and I am alright emotional to. 

ETA: Bout to call my dad right now.

Thank you Doug  

I'm in tears right now...if you read a little above where I responded to Juice...you will get a little more history on me and my family. I know in my heart that my son will "man up"...it's just hard to see that grown man cry 

I know his father will be coming in to talk to him and guide him...he just needs to gather his thoughts and make the right approach...they and VERY close. Thank you again

T...ain't nothing wrong with a grown man crying!!!  (If it was...I'd be a straight up punk)