Im FAT *sigh*

Ok, so Ive always lived in denial... I know im not skinny, Im overweight.... but Ive never "seen" myself as obese, or really fat. I wear a size 24-26, but it seems I have the oposite problem of some... I look in the mirror and dont see myself as been that fat. Ive always been semi happy with myself..... Last year, Mother's day we did a secret makeover of my Mother in laws bedroom, and we filmed ourselves doing it for her to watch later. When we watched the video, I saw myself... and was shocked--- did I really look that awful?? After seeing that video, we started dieting, did great for 6 months, lost 52lbs... but eventually gained 70lbs or so back. Yesterday was it. Ive been debating whether or not I even need the surgery...... but Saturday was my sister in laws wedding (She has WLS in Feb--- looked absolutely gorgeous).... anyway last night we got together for dinner, they opened their wedding presents and we watched a DVD of pictures... and there in the family photo's was a big fat faced woman..... not the person I see in the mirror. I was so upset, I cried the whole way home. Do I really look like that????? Im done..... I WILL be having surgery next year, despite the fear...... there is no doubt now (Assuming insurance is ok of course).

now.....you are ready...go for it! hugs, Sally

Darlene, We have all been there sweetie. At some point, we all look in the mirror and honestly see what is physically there. We don't see our "spirit" or the true self that our families and friends see when they look at us. I have been in total denial for years about my weight problems. Like you, I have always tried to take care of everyone else and their needs--that's me! Now, it's MY time...it feels good to be doing something for myself...and in turn...doing this for my family so I can be around longer to bug them to death I have a feeling you are gonna be very happy with your decision. This is such an emotional roller-coaster ride for all of us!! Hang on..it will get better!! Virginia (surgery Nov. 23rd!!!!!yeah!!!!)

Darlene ~ We have all seen ourselves differently. Sometimes with kind eyes and sometimes with our harsh ones. It's like how I look at my grey streaked hair and think, "Wow, people would kill for these BLOND streaks!" And then I see a picture and go, "OMG! I'm GREY!!!!" and cannot even kindly say 'silver' to myself. You have beautiful features but I bet you didn't focus on that when you saw the pictures. You saw the bigger picture. Your decision to make the change is going to reverse your outlook totally. You'll see. But once a babe -- always a babe -- and you already have that going for you! Hugs! SHeryl