Friend won't speak to me, Think she is jealous!

I have a long time friend, She is almost like a mother to me. She had the surgery back in the 80's, From what she said she was sick all the time, and it just didn't work for her! I told her a month ago that I was thinking of having this surgery done, and all she could say was Ohhh my god Tara, why? She said that she was scard for me, and tried all kinds of ways to talk me out of it. Then weeks after she appologized about what she had said to me, and said that she was just worried! She then tells me that she was thinking of having it done again! I just feel like, she has not supported me at all, we used to stay intouch, not now! I don't know if she is jealous.. or just busy with her family! i just hurts that she is not there for me, she has not bothered to call to see what has been going on, i feel like I don't owe her a thing or any information. if she wants to know.. she knows how to get ahold of me! My surgery is on the Sept 22.. Yippee, im really scared though! Best wishes to all! Tara

Hi Tara! I have had the same reaction from a friend. She didn't have the surgery but she had another kind of problem that called for her colon to be shortened and it had the same effect as weight loss surgery. She tries to talk me out of it all the time. I think that some people get scared that your getting better means that their position in your life will be jepordized or somehow changed. Just continue to show your joy - even to her - and let her catch up to the program. Hugs! Sheryl

That's really good advice, Sheryl! I thought one of my friendships was down the tubes due to jealousy issues over my metamorphosis, but hung in there and let her know that I still cared for her by simply keeping up the calling, etc., from my side. Things are better now and I'm glad I still have the friend. - Stephanie

Thanks Stephanie! See now that's two of us that say it works! SHeryl

Tara, How about inviting her to go to a support group meeting with you? This might show her the wonderful things that can happen thru the surgery and help her to make a good decision for her. Keep in contact with her. She may be the one needing the extra support. Maybe she hasn't looked into all she can about the surgery and is afraid to ask where to go for information. Clara

Thank you all so much for the replys, everything you said makes perfect sense! I have actually talked to her since i put this post up. She said that she is not jealouse, that she has just been shutting many people out, she is going through something! but everything is fine! I wold hate to lose her as a friend! Thanks again.. Best wishes all! Tara

Sounds like she has some issues going on with her - like weight, her family or work or something. Don't automatically assume it's you. I do that too. Could just be that she is distracted right now on herself right now. Especially if she was against it then for it and now thinking about doing it herself. Hang in there. Don't call the friendship kaput yet. Friendships as all relationships have highs and lows, peaks and valleys. Hang in there. Congrats on your surgery date!! That's LESS than a month away! Wow! How exciting! Trisha -95 lbs