Normal regret?

I am 7 weeks post op. I am nowhere near the positive outlook that everyone seems to have post-op. I ask myself daily what did I do? I am mad at myself for feeling this way - I know I should be thankful and positive, but it is hard. I have dropped 52 lbs since my RNY surgery on 6/28/05 - so I know this works. I am just not happy. I MISS MY FOOD!!!!! This will pass, right? Thanks for listening.

Debra, It does get easier, hang in there!! I promise. It is hard to get back into the swing of things. I am 6 months out and feel great. I struggled for a bit, but now I feel pretty normal. I can eat out, and have very little problems. I miss food sometimes too, but when you start seeing the difference in your body, food won't matter as much! You are doing great, if you need any kind of support, please email me. [email protected] Take Care! Laura Chritopher

Thank you for the response Laura. I was feeling so low this morning when I wrote that message. I am truly looking forward to the changes that will start happening with my weight loss - its just so darn hard right now. I do appreciate your encouragement. Take care!

Very normal feelings. I was full of regret for the first 2 months or so. I did have a stricture that took forever to correct but I was still miserable and missed food very much. Once you get to the stage of eating more normally, you will feel better about it. And once you really start to see the results.

Thank you for responding. Can I ask, what is a stricture? I dont mean to be personal, but is it WLS related? Its a weird feeling not wanting to eat - its as if the surgery took away all my hunger. I know that my desire to eat will return, but for now I am amused that I dont want to eat - certainly not the way Ive been the past 46 years! LOL Take care.

Strictures are where scar tissue blocks one of the passageways where the intestines were re-attached. They usually happen during the first few months out and lead to lots of vomiting and not being able to keep anything down but liquids. It's cured by going in with an endoscopy in a simple proceedure to open the scarred area back up. A certain percentage of wls patients get them early on (I did too). You'll figure it out if you're getting a stricture. But I think her point was that the early depression is even worse when you can't keep anything down at all. What you're going through is absolutely normal. I can't stress it enough. I don't know anyone that didn't have some level of depression early on. One of the theories is that the fat cells also hold lots of hormones, which are being dudmmped along with the residuals of the fat being burned, into your blood stream en mass. The sadness over loss of food does diminish, especially as you're able to introduce a lot of the beloved old foods back into your diet as time goes on. I felt exactly as you do at a couple months out, but now (16 months out), look at people eating "normally" and get almost repulsed at the quantities they're shoving in! I never thought I'd say this, but I can be perfectly satisfied now with way less. Your perspective definitely changes. On the way from a size 26 to a size 8, a whole lot changes. Trust me. You're gonna be amazed. The honeymoon phase kicks in soon and you'll be on top of the world for a bunch of months. Just keep your chin up till then. - Stephanie J

You nailed it on the head Stephanie. Especially the part about looking at other people in restaurants and seeing how much food people eat. It's amazing. I too am very glad to be eating so little these days. I can eat just about anything at this stage (9 months out) but in just really small portions. I really only have problems with ham. The regret will go away.

I feel your pain!!!! I am 11 months out from my surgery and still go thru bouts of ...not really regret...but I miss food. I miss eating whatever I want whenever I want and how much I want. Going to restaurants isn't fun anymore, rather a burden. But I wouldn't trade having the surgery for anything. YOu are still only 7 wks out and it does get better. The first 60 days are the WORST!!! It will all pass. Just keep thinking about all the cute new clothes you will be able to buy!!! Take care, Rachael.

52 pounds is phenomenal. I only lost 13 my first month. I never questioned my surgery because of my diabetes and cholesterol, but I really missed food and was angry because I've lost more weight in one week on a crash diet. I have evolved the lack/love of food into almost a voyeuristic thing. I love the smell and look of food even more. I have learned to gain pleasure from watching others enjoy food. I know that is bizarre. I love food though. I loved it so much that at the 7/8 week mark I went through a phase where I ate anyway. This also equated to throwing up...anyway. From everyone I talk to you begin to deal with this post-surgery life in ways that eventually make you a better person. Food was my "rock". I could always count on it. It made me feel good. Being able to finally identify what I actually was looking for (comfort) was liberating. As everyone says, when you begin to see the "new you" it will ease the anxiety of not being able to eat. It hasn't made it go away for me though. By the way, I'm 4 years out. I had the surgery 8-16-01. Take your vitamins, keep up the protein, and try to distract yourself with things that feel good. I became obsessive with self-help books and lurking through chat rooms to see if I was the only one who missed food that much. I believe someone described it as a mourning phase. You know you have forever lost a friend. Eventually I understood that you didn't really lose the friend, you just can't be with them as much. Hope this helps. Jen

Debra, You are doing GREAT! Have you checked with your psy. about your feelings? It took me a kick in the pants to get me to go and talk. But that was the best thing I did for me. Find a new obsession. Mine is shopping. I don't always buy anything, but I love the getting out and walk and enjoying the world. Which was near impossibled before surgery. Take care of YOU!