Going to Mexico?

(deactivated member)
on 11/30/09 10:45 pm - Phx, AZ
There are numerous things to REALLY consider before taking on a surgery in Mexico...read on.  DISCLAIMER: Please note that these are merely speculations, ideas, and the result of months of boredom due to medical leave, a busy mind and imagination, and drugs... and do not necessarily reflect the views of ANY person on this site from this or any country/planet. 

"MEXICAN DOCTORS AND WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY"
by Lizzie G of AZ...a former anonymous author now seeking recognition

Weightloss surgery in the 21st Century has been the surgery of choice for many of the overweight population.  Unfortunately, many of the overweight find themselves in a particular quandry as to what route to take when they find that they are either a) uninsured, b) overinsured, or 3) unsure-insured (what does their plan cover and why did I not make a call to the plan to ask before venturing those 5 hours to the south across a dry, barren desert while dodging stray bullets and wandering donkeys?).  Many fat Americans tend to stick close to home when seeking a surgeon to perform invasive surgical procedures, hence a good 0-75% of them find American doctors to perform a variety of operations which will hopefully give them new reason to live and steer clear of fat-laden foods. 

However, there are those who choose otherwise.  Of the remaining small percentage of these folks, their choice is to leave the country for their surgical care.  And the country of Mexico is no stranger to these bands of border-crossers.  Why they do it is anyone's guess, but a very minute number of the one(s) asked gave reasons such as these: 1) "Taco Bell was my favorite fast food dining establishment, and I wanted to remain loyal in one last stand and show my allegiance to the makers of my favorite quisine", 2) "I have always found the Hispanic population a very attractive people, hence it was my desire to date a Mexican but could find no one, so I opted to go there and pay for the privilege of having one operate on my insides--it's a fantasy-thing", and 3) "I did it for the music".  Our research team could find no one to further explain #3, however after a wee-morning venture across the border ourselves for a few hours of merrymaking, we figured it out for ourselves.  Music nothing.  They did it for the tequila!

How is a weight-loss surgical procedure in Mexico different from one in the USA?  Well, let's begin with the trip.  There are mainly two options for travel to Mexico: 1) Automobile or 2) Aeroplane.  (We could mention walking, however this mode of travel is most usually chosen by people entering the USA, not leaving it.)  Driving to Mexico is delightful, and full of many sight(ings) of people and men in SUVs with flashing lights on top.  If your doctor of choice is in Tijuana, leave a few days early to catch the fantastic shopping deals.  Purses, blankets, and pinatas are a great souvenir, and might be able to be used to barter for partial payment for your surgical procedure.  Remember too, the more purses you buy, the more nurses you will have available for your after-care.  And too, if you load a pinata with pints of tequila, your anesthesia costs may be either reduced or eliminated entirely.  One note about tequila: consuming a worm may supply a need for further antibiotics prior to surgery, so caution is needed here.  

Passing through Customs is quite easy going into Mexico.  They accept all sorts of people, so just smile and wave.  Remember, after surgery, this may be the last time you may smile for a time, so get it all in here--at the border.  And, if your reason for Mexican surgery was because of the attractive Mexican people, take special note of the darkly tanned, white-toothy grins of the border agents.  Just like Erik Estrada.  It is a sight that may make your drifting off under anesthesia more momentous for you. 

Accommodations are tricky.  You have to know your comfort zone.  Do you require a hotel with a 5-star rating or are you comfortable in a tent with a port-a-potty?  Not only is this imperative for comfort, but for those whose funds are limited, this may be a deal maker or breaker.  There are plenty of RV parks on the highways and byways of Mexico as well, which may be an option for you.  Remember that an experienced driver in this instance is key...one who is notoriously finding potholes may not be the driver for you, especially if your surgeon has opted to perform an open surgical procedure due to a sudden complication.  Also, prepare for any additional nights' stay for your family/friends if your medical condition requires further out-patient care immediately following surgery.  A 5-star hotel bill may make you wish you'd stayed in Deluth. 

What will your accompanying family/friends eat or drink while you are in the hospital?  If you are required to stay additional nights, what will they do to keep themselves occupied?  For these questions, we refer you to your local travel agent for entertainment not bordering on sleazy night-club establishments, which may otherwise result in additional costs for bail and/or intervention by the US Consulate.  This is why choosing a hospital in a good-sized city is in your best interests.  If you drive to Mexico, take very few clothes.  The remainder of automobile space should be used up by packing a crateload of drinking water.  If you have never drank the water in Mexico, be assured of one thing: You won't want to do it again.  This author made the mistake of travelling to Guaymas, Mexico, and partook in the flavors of homemade popsicles.  Thirty minutes' travel time back to one's accommodations can seem like a lifetime if you partake in homemade Mexican popsicles.  They are made with Mexican water.  Do not drink it.  Do not eat it.  Bring your own.  Make sure your family/friends love Mexican food.  In Mexico they serve Mexican food.  If your people like Italian, go to Rome for your surgery.  Or leave them home.

Your surgeon will want you to be "cleaned out" as it were, prior to surgery.  Many US surgeons will prescribe an intestinal cleanser for your to consume which should do the trick.  However, you have chosen to go to Mexico.  You evidently cannot afford yet another co-pay for a prescription.  Therefore, our recommendation is: Arrive at your Mexican destination 3 days prior to surgery.  Two days prior to surgery, drink the water.  For approximately 1.5 days it is a sure thing that your bowels will receive a much better cleansing than any prescribed medication would do.  After your surgery, continue on your bottled water regimen. 

Upon arrival at the hospital, please inform the admitting personnel that you do not speak Spanish.  How you do this is just as important as why you do this.  When they ask for your credit card, immediately respond: "NO ESPANIOL!!!"  This will then do one of two things: 1) The admitting clerk will summon a translator, or 2) The admitting clerk will again ask, in her perfect English (and perhaps with a southern drawl) for your credit card.  It's all a ploy, you see.  Either way they get their money.

When you are escorted (hopefully not by armed men) back to the surgical waiting room, you will be asked to remove your clothes.  Do not do this if these armed men are asking.  You should wait for a properly trained medical staff member to do so.  Once you are in a gown, you will be weighed and measured, poked and prodded, scrubbed and slapped.  You will be given a saline solution via I.V.  You should begin to pray now that this is not Mexican saline solution...hence more bathroom trips.  Your family/friends will then be allowed to sit with you until they wheel you into the operation theater.  

The operation theater is not a theater at all.  It is a small 8' x 10' room with no windows.  If you are fortunate, the janitor's closet will have its own entry in the hall.  You will notice the table of surgical implements lying next to you.  Do not look at these.  It is easier.  You should however take note of any boiling pot(s) of water (yes, Mexican water is OK, because it is being boiled) in which these surgical implements have been sanitized in.  If there is no boiling water, look for a dishwasher.  Either sanitizes.  When you notice one of these two essential elements of the Mexican operation room, you may quietly go to sleep.

Soon enough, surgery will be over.  How will you know you have pulled through?  Do you hear barking chihuahuas and loud Latina music playing?  If so, know that your surgery was a success and your doctor is now entertaining his large family and other relatives in the next room with deep fried chimichangas and tomatillos--all the foods you LOVE yet have chosen to avoid from now until eternity.  This is the final phase of your surgical procedure.  It is one the Mexican surgeon calls La Temptra Gringo, or loosely translated: Let's Tempt the Gringo.  If you suddenly feel the urge to vomit, you have passed this test and may be released as early as tomorrow. 

Your choice of chosing a Mexican surgeon has been a success.  Hopefully you will not require any further visits for complications because it is a long tedious drive back to Mexico for each occurrence, and the Mexican border patrol may begin to wonder what in the world you are transporting into their country to require so many return trips.  This could prove to be a hinderance for you in getting the follow-up care you so desperately require, such as in the case of having your JP Drain removed.  And that is why flying to your surgical destination is the preferred choice for travel to Mexico.  Quick check-in, flight boarding, and voila! you are there in no time.  (A SIDE NOTE: If you cannot afford more trips to Mexico to have your JP Drain removed, you have options in the USA, the easiest and quickest involves an aggressive attack dog and the aroma of bacon sprayed ONLY on your tubing.)  

Hopefully this article has aided in giving further discussion as to chosing a Mexican surgeon for your weight loss surgery or not.  In hindsight, if my surgeon looked anything like Erik Estrada, I may have chosen Mexico as an option, rather than the doctor I did have, resembling an unkempt Dr. House.  Additionally, it is my belief that if my parents would have waited an additional week or two before consumating their marriage, I might have been born the skinny child, with no health issues, and certainly not mentally deranged as I have grown accustomed to being.  Therefore, in the words of my surgeon, "It is NOT your fault"...
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