R U a surgery snob??!!

While getting my pedicure this morning in my regular little friendly place.....A very thing lady came in.  The entire shop was gushing over her and how skinny she looked and asking how much weight she'd lost.  My antennae went right up and so I checked her out.  She was familiar and i remembered seeing her as a pre-op at one of the groups I had been at.

I intended on drilling her but she was in the front getting a mani and I was in the back with my pedi.  I heard someone ask her how she lost it.  She said it was a lot of hard work!!!!  Well yeah, BUT.......

That's when I decided that she didn't want me to "out" her and probably didn't want me to "make nice" with her.  I have to say that it bugged me a little.  She has done VERY VERY well.  I'd guess she is below a normal goal weight for her height.

So what do y'all think?

Is it anyone's business how we "really" lost our weight?
Should be tell strangers everything?
If she remembered me, should she have engaged in conversation?
Is surgery just a means to an end that you move on from or does it become part of your life forever?
Was she a surgery snob?

I honestly had to ask myself some soul searching questions and I decided that "at times" I am definitely a surgery snob!   ....  I have told some people that I lost the weight on a high protein diet with lots of exercise (lots of truth to that but not the whole picture)!

....wondering how others feel?????

I am very out there about how I lost the weight.  I tell everyone that I had gastric bypass.  I don't see any reason to hide it.  But that's just me and my own situation, I can very well understand that some people might want to keep everything private.

Robin

I tell people the truth...I'm not a "good" liar and I think back to the "Starr Jones" fiasco where she pretended that it was just her 'willpower" for so long till she finally came clean.

it's a personal decision but if I were in your situation at the salon, I would have gone up to her and just said "Hello" knowing full well that she knew that I knew.. she was busted. lol

xo nancy

I've never hidden my surgery status, even now that I'm meeting so many new people that didn't know me before.  They look at me with a  surprised look, you know they're thinking that I'm still fat.  I explain that not every surgery is a successful as we'd like, but I'm so much healthier now. 
But that's me-- I love to talk!

I can understand the lady not wanting to discuss the details of her surgery, particularly in a salon.  However, that's not  justification for ignoring you Joyce.  First, it was extremely rude and I hate bad manners.  Secondly, she is going to need support particularly after her "honeymoon" phase is over.  By denying her surgery and avoiding her peers, she's going to find maintenance extremely hard. 

I hope her snobbery doesn't lead to long term failure!

Michele

YES I AM A SURGERY SNOB!!!!  I have not even told my mother that I had the surgery.  I have thought many times what would happen if I ran into someone from support group and they brough up my surgery when I was with someone who doesn't know.

I don't want this to define me and I don't want to hear anyones' comments negative or positive about surgery.  I lost the weight from portion control, and exercise.  This is the truth!  The only omission is that I have a tool that helps me with my portion control (at one setting)  However, I could eat all day long if I wanted to, eat liquids, sugar, etc. and my "tool" wouldn't make any difference.  I don't have any malabsorption (which still doesn't make any difference)  and really feel that I am not lying about saying portion control and exercise! 

It is a personal decision.  I had my gallbladder out years ago, female procedures done, etc. and not one person has ever asked me, nor do I feel the need to bring it up anytime I see someone - I know it is not exactly the same, but it still is not something that if I don't "discuss" I am not being honest.  It is nobody's business.  Just like people don't ask how much money do you make, they shouldn't ask if you had surgery or not. 

Nothing is more defeating than hearing "oh you took the easy way out"  I don't personally think it is the easy way - it is a more helpful way, but nonetheless it doesn't make any difference - the bottom line plain and simple  is: "I didn't take the easy way out, I the only way out of obesity for me!"

Ok, stepping down off my soap box. 

Great discussion item Joyce!  I hope we all remember that when we do see someone from our groups and they are with other people to remember that perhaps not everyone has told their family and friends and we should be somewhat discreet (similar to AA meetings :) 

I think it is a personal option.  I decide who I want to tell and who I don't.  On the other hand, if someone comes up and ask me I will tell them.  At first I didn't want to tell everyone but my husband told people that I would not have.  I do talk about it to my friends on Facebook, but I am careful about what I say.  It is no one's business except when I make it that way.

Joyce if I saw you in a public place I would probably talk to you but quietly.   I don't feel strangers only need to know about my past if I chose to tell them so.

With that said I have to come out and say that I have gained 10 pounds.  I can only blame it on more carbs than normal and not being able to exercise much since I have had a bacterial infection on my foot.  I can't wait until 11 Sep when I get the foot taken care of surgically.

Hey Joycie:

I say you tell 'em you lost all that weight running from the Law when you did your ex- in.  ha ha.  Flight plan? 

Lizzie.

ha ha ha

I'm all over the board on this one.  For me, the journey started 10 years ago. I learned very quickly some things are better left unsaid.  The people I thought would be supportive were the worst ones telling me they heard someone died from this surgery bla, bla, bla, why would you do something like this.....bla, bla, bla..and the one friend I expected to be the most negative was the most supportive. Even last year,  I told some one I had had the WLS surgery and she freaked out .
.
I found out who my real friends were right away. I lost most of my heavy friends because I just did not fit in.  Food was no longer our common bond. I became very selective who I told. I have worked with some people who had bypasses who approached me and asked if I had a bypass because they were familiar with how and what  I ate. 

I  think it is a personal choice and there are still a few people I would never tell.  A few of my close friends made the decision and had a bypass and I was happy to answer any question they had. 

Every one is different some people can let others opinions and negativity just roll off them and others can't.  I believe unless you have walked in our shoes you will never really understand the journey we have been on.

Not sure if that makes me a WLS snob

WOW..... I don't know how to answer this one.......

I guess my answer would be, I can be if the cir****tances dictate the necessity. Example: If you were critical of me for any reason while I struggled with weight loss and had a dogmental attitude, after surgery you most definately will get a cold shoulder. On the other hand, if you were helpful and supportive then yes I would discuss my experiences with you. And sometimes I think you should not know (like co-workers) but in order to keep the record straight about why I was off, then yes I would let you know because when I come back from short-term disability, I dont want to have to deal with rumors about me being fired, I quit, I was suspended etc. In short, it depends on the situation.

Edited to fix grammar error.