Want to Rant

I want to rant about something...better to write it than to reply to the person who said this and ruin a relationship, eh?

Some of you know...I'm 3 mo out from a revision.  So, as such, I am dealing with intestinal/toilet issues...and will for a time until my body adjusts.  I have come to terms with it. 

Rant #1: I have a sister-in-law who had her RNY done in Columbia (her doc).  She CONSTANTLY tells me that me getting my RNY done in the US was dumb, and that only docs in the US leave drain tubes, because they are not as proficient as foreign docs.  Last night she tells me, "Oh, you and my cousin (also had RNY in the US) are ALWAYS sick any more...because of the US surgery..." (Might I add that having surgery in another country has given her NO follow-up care, nor does she care to attend support groups or get labs done...it's been 3+ years).

Rant #2:  Same S-I-L.... Yes, she may be down to a size 6/8... BUT this woman EATS CHOCOLATE BY THE BAGFUL!!!  When she called me last night, I could hear her unwrapping pieces of chocolate.  She says it does not bother her, but in the next sentence says, "Oh I'll be down and out for the next few hours because of it....."  Also, she drinks 2+ POTS of coffee a day... her diet basically is Coffee and Chocolate.  Friday my dad had heart surgery...we all took our own food to the hospital for the day to avoid the cafeteria...  She pulls out TWO bags of chocolates...and proceeded to eat most of it herself!!!!!)  UG UG UG!!!!!  My brother also says that she vomits regularly... either voluntarily or in-voluntarily.  UG again!

Rant #3:  Same S-I-L..... SHE IS SEVERELY ANEMIC with a blood count of EIGHT (yes, people... 8!!!!!) because she REFUSES TO TAKE HER VITAMINS AND IRON!!!!!  I have been on her for over a year to take the iron...she chews ice and drives all of us nuts because we have to sit there and listen to the chomping.  OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Her new PCP, actually a PA) recently did labs and told her that she WILL die without iron, and the next step is hospitalization. 

Rant #4:  Same S-I-L.....  I guess my biggest rant w/her is how she constantly criticizes me for being intestinally-challanged... she CONTINUALLY (and I mean every 5 minutes at times---is this due to her anemia and hence forgetfulness???) asks: Do you want chocolate? as she is pushing a bag of chocolate toward me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am sick and tired of telling her "I can't have that" or feeling as if I have to explain why not or whatever.................... 

I am tired today, and don't want to ruin family ties.....  But I am just irritated with someone who has HAD the surgery, yet belittles those of us who try to eat well by trying to keep up with their protein and vitamins...  I will admit..... I DO like chocolate..... but I try to have self control.... in the evenings I do have a 1" square or two, letting it melt in my mouth.  But, to me, it's something I enjoy and in moderation. 

Thanks for letting me blow off this steam.

Lizzie

Sorry I missed seeing you yesterday at group!  I would give you a BIG HUG - cuz you don't need the stres of your Sis in law !!

My only suggestion is ..... Can you two just agree to disagree and move on.  You made the best choice for you ! and you dont need her stress.

Hope Dad is doing better.

Thanks a bunch!  Yes, Dad is doing better... he went in for his heart... had 3 stents on the L side a month ago.  Friday he was supposed to get a couple more on the R, but they ended up doing 5 more.  He is relaxing for 3 days, then Mom will have to yell at him when he wants to chop more wood (they live in Prescott).  ha ha. 

As for support.....  I am ever-thankful for my hubby...   he is always reminding me to eat right.  And he never complains when I changed the way I cooked since the revision... I rarely make him anything w/carbs (tempting for me) like potatoes or rice (VERY rarely).  We have been having a lot of protein w/steamed veggies or else spinach salads w/fruit/veggies, topped with either chicken or salmon... tonight will be steak strips on the salad.  (I'm getting hungry just typing this!)  And yes, I am thankful for the support of you all... It was a difficult choice (for me personally), this revision, and I must admit I went in with my eyes closed, because of my own restricted understanding of the physical process of the revision.  But in the long-run it will have been a good decision.   Just waiting for that Long-Run to get here. 

Thanks for your thoughts!

Hi Lizzie,

I remember seeing you at the meeting. Let me state my 2 cents to your nightmare sister-in-law. I am glad I live in AZ and both my sisters are back in Michigan. I don't  have to say anymore about them because they are very hypercritical of me. Sounds like your sister-in-law is jealous of you because your doing what your suppose to being with your tool. I would try to avoid her at all cost. You don't need people like that in your life. I hope I get to meet at the next support meeting.

Dawn

Yep.....  I know...It is insane to misuse our tool, and then want to offer to sabotage others as well.

I wanted to stick around at the mtg but had some "intestinal issues" that hit 1/2way thru the mtg...and got home just in the nick of time...  Ug.  I am anxiously awaiting the time when this Revision Madness subsides... it is getting to me.

Refer said "know it all" SIL to boards with people having problems who have also refused to take their vitamins, irons, etc.  Is she stupid?  I mean seriously!!!!  Who would hear those lab numbers and sanely refuse treatment?  Perhaps her B12 is also in the toilet and she's not mentally with it enough to make normal decisions!  I'd consider gathering the family for an intervention?

As for you and your verbage with her....just be dismissive and throw a couple of big words her way to let her chew on.  While you have issues completely different than hers; you are actively pursuing the treatment and are aggressively taking supplements to improve your quality of life and make your Revision a great answer for YOU!

Chocolate as a treat is NOT the same as chocolate as a source of nutrition!  Gheesh!  I think she's seriously got some mental issues!

As for your recent p.m. you sent.  Give me some research time, K?  I have company and am having a hard time stealing some computer time and even some work time.  They fly home later today!  Glad to see them come ....glad to see them land safely in their own neck of the woods:-)

Joycie:

I did happen to find SOME info on digestive time... but it was for NORMAL (I'm not normal?????)  So, I have opted to conduct a test... since tomatoes seem to be less digested... I'll not eat any for several days, then I will and make a note of when I did.  When I do SEE the results of my labors (ha ha ho ho), I shall then know the answer to that one.  I figure, if I cannot find written information as to what I need to know, I'll just be a guinea pig, so to speak.  ha ha

As to the SIL problem... I have vented here on this site regarding it, this following repeated attempts to appeal to her sense of urgency.  So, what more can I do?  I don't want it to come to this, but should she not survive these depleted nutrients..... I can with a clean conscience say "I told you so".  Sounds a bit cold, but it's reality.

Thanks for your response! :)