How did you tell people about surgery?

Skylark
on 11/4/08 2:51 am - Tucson, AZ

I'm having a problem deciding how to tell people that I'm having a gastric bypass soon.  I work with a bunch of thin people and have overheard them discuss how only "weak" people have this surgery  and that it's "the easy way out".  Even my parents and siblings are critical of it.  They will die when they find out I'm doing this. I know I shouldn't worry what other people think, but I'd rather keep it private. What did you do?

ginau
on 11/4/08 3:43 am - mesa, AZ
fisrt only tell people you can trust  to Love and  that will support your decission.  the rest - well....   I  would  tell them your having gallbladder surgery. 

It's your decission... no one else's  & you dont need stress 

GinaU aka Jeanna 
 RNY revised  to Extended RNY 5/2008
Total loss 181 and counting 
 
-

Carol C.
on 11/4/08 4:57 am - North Hollywood, CA
I am just vague when I don't want people to know.  Say its abdominal, then if they push, tell them it was laproscopic and that usually ends the questions.  If they keep pushing say you would rather not talk about it and change the subject by asking a question about them.  To be honest though, most people I just blurt out the truth to.  If they are silly enough to criticise me, well I have a whole lecture planned on how obesity is a disease lol.  So far everyone has been supportive, whether they know which surgery I had or not.

Carol
merryterry
on 11/4/08 11:11 am - AZ
I'm wondering how much I want to say. I told my mom, my siblings, my DH, of course and my pastor I'm having gastric banding. I've told one class of students I'll have to miss some days for surgery. One kid, who just has his tonsils out asked me what kind of surgery and I said "None of your business sugery." Maybe he just wanted to compare notes. I told my principal when I expect to be gone, just saying I was having surgery and it wasn't serious. MY co-workers don't need to know-it they figure it out, fine. Even my mom is a little-well-condensending. "Well, some people just have to do that." I want to say, "Well, mom, you were skinny once and I never was. You're the one who taught me comfort eating and to make cakes, and I learned well." but I won't because I love her and even though she's struggled with weight for years after babies were born, she probably doesn't completely understand my issues. But, I do this for ME!
FLGail
on 11/5/08 10:27 am - Sun City, AZ
Most people are just jealous anyway when they see how good you start to look. Goo d Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gail
(deactivated member)
on 11/6/08 4:40 pm - AZ
I am very vague about my WLS. I have not told my family back in Michigan. Everyone in my family are very critical about WLS. It is none of anyones business but mine. My family back home only think very weak people get WLS. They just think I am on another diet. The first time I had my original weight loss surgery my family just made fun of me.
Skylark
on 11/6/08 11:53 pm - Tucson, AZ

Thanks for all of your responses.  I have decided to be secretive too.  I told my mom (she lives 2 blocks away) and that was a mistake.  She has never had a weight problem and she is a BIG part of mine.  I blew it  because I asked her to keep it a secret.  I'm sure all her friends know now.  She has spent the past two weeks trying to talk me out of it--bringing up all kinds of horible outcomes (probably less than 1% of all surgeries.  I wish I had only told my closest friends! I have an appointment today with my boss to tell him about my upcoming surgery and I think I will tell them I'm having "repairs done".  I've already had my gallbladder, appendix and uterus out while I've been employed in my present position--I've run out of spare parts to use as excuses! LOL I do feel empowered when I think that I am the one in control. My immediate family are being very supportive.  Let this be a lesson to all who are reading--tell only those people who will be supportive and can keep their mouths shut.

JRinAZ
on 11/7/08 12:14 am - Layton, UT
Bummer about your Mom!  Mine was a bit over the top as well.  I finally told her that my health was very important to me, my hubby and my kids and that I had to eliminate toxic people and situations and gravitate towards positive.  I asked her which category she was going to choose.  She gasped and then has been trying hard to work on it.  .....  I occasionally have to do the "talk to the hand" kind of thing and just choose NOT to engage.  A few dry spells of time away has emphasized my conviction!  ....You CAN walk away!  ...... You CAN focus on your good health.

BEEEEEE  Positive!  BEEEEEE  Strong!  Anyone else wants to know then tell them you've dropped a lot of weight while preparing for this years Boston Marathon!!!  ...Seriously!  I told people that I was on a high protein/low carb plan and that it has been the perfect solution for me!
Joyce 
Rny 2/11/03-> ERny 12/26/07-> Duodenal Switch 5/12/2010   
     www.dsfacts.com , www.dssurgery.com , & www.duodenalswitch.com

                  

Skylark
on 11/8/08 1:05 am - Tucson, AZ

Told my boss about my upcoming surgery for "somach problems".  Told him I would be out 3-6 weeks.  He was great!  Told me not to worry about work--that the office would manage.  Whew!  Big hurdle over!  So that will be my story, cause boy do I have stmach problems--my stomach sticks out too far!  I hope to be as forthright with my mom as you are, Joyce.
Question:  are you a very small woman?  After reading several wesites, I seem to be seeing a trend between small women and revision surgery. "On a good day" I'm 5'2".  I am 100 pounds overweight--I got there with ww--a 1200 cal diet.  Rarely eat fast food or dessert.  I'm wondering if our caloric needs are so low, that our bodies just "adjust" to far less food.  I am also menopausal.  Last year, a doctor told me that I have the caloric needs of a two year old, so I figure that RNY will work for me.  I admit that after reading "your story" on your profile page, if RNY is going to work for me in the long term.  I guess it's way too early to worry about revision surgery yet, but I am really counting on this first surgery, compliance to doctor's orders and hard exercise to work for me.  Joyce, you sound quite experienced.  Is your story rare?

 

JRinAZ
on 11/8/08 1:54 pm - Layton, UT
Hey there friend!
I am 5'4" and below goal weight so some may consider me a small woman but my brain has a good laugh over the very idea of "small"!  I still see myself as large! 

Anyway, you wondered if my story is rare?  Sure it is!  All of us have  a unique story to tell but we have oodles in common!  ........... No worries for you!  You are going to be a model post-op and be healthy and happy at 100 or more pounds lighter!!!! 

Joyce 
Rny 2/11/03-> ERny 12/26/07-> Duodenal Switch 5/12/2010   
     www.dsfacts.com , www.dssurgery.com , & www.duodenalswitch.com

                  

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