Needing advice

Okay. One month and one day to go. I'm getting more nervous as the time gets closer.  I keep telling myself it's not going to get any better without the WLS.  I know I'm doing the right thing.  But all the e-mails and blogs I read of how difficult the recovery is and the pain and the never ending nausea...I wonder "what the h... am I doing?"  There's this constant argument going on in my head.   And now I have a question I never considered before.  My husband likes "curvy" women.  He loves the way I am.  What if he doesn't like what I become? Any advice? - Laura

I am exactly one week from today.  In fact this time (exact time) next week I am probably going to be wheeling back to surgery. I have been having all of those "what am I doing" terrified of post op feelings too!  I am terrified.  I know that it will get better. I know if we can handle the first few months it will be awesome.  We can get through 6 months!  Look how long we have suffered with illnesses and being fat!  We can do ANYTHING for 6 months!  After that, the road become SO much better!  Often its only 4 months that their are issues.  Most of the issues come when people try to push themselves because of cravings etc.  Nausea is often just lack of water.  I know that if we really educate ourselves and stick with good programs we can avoid a lot of the problems we read about.  Others happen no matter what you do, but we can handle them! As far as your husband goes, I mean this in a loving way, its about you honey.  Not about your husband, my husband, what they think or how they feel.  IT truly is about us.  You husband won't even realize how much the new you will turn him on...it will...just wait.  He is just scared and nervous.  What if you leave him?  What if other men look and flirt with you?  These are all things going through his head whether he shares them or not.  Move forward.  A happy wife, means a happy life!  Hugs! Lyns

Lyns

Best wishes on your upcoming surgery.  It is perfectly normal to be nervous and anxious.  All will be fine and you will be on your way soon. 

~Becky

P.S I have a thread for June surgery dates!  You should post yours there! Lyns

My husband just loves me anyway that I am except *****y!  He wants me to be healthy and totally supports the surgery that I've chosen, and I love him even more for it.  It's the same way that I love him.  If he lost a limb or was mangled in a fire, would I love him less?  I think I just love him. He's loved me fat, he'll love me thin, because I believe that he loves the woman that I am.

Thank you Lyns.  I really appreciate what you said.  My husband isn't as superficial as I made him sound.  All he wants is for me to be healthy.  This isn't his worry, it's mine.  It's hard to believe he loves the me I've become. But he does and I need to trust in that.  My anxiety is over drive.  Thank you again. - Laura

I am one month and 12 days to go.. I am right behind you.. I am having a little anxiety as well.. However mine is something is going to happen where I wont be able to have the surgery.. I have this little doubt in me that last minute it will be rescheduled or something..LOL 

I understand.  I'm still waiting for them to call and say there's been a change of plans too.  Then when my doctors coordinator left the office I really got concerned.  SO I called them.  The office understood and told me things were right on schedule.  Give your doctors aoffice a call.  I'm sure you wouldn't be the first to confirm everything.  It's going to go fine.  

Laura, You're just worried and looking for a logical reason to be worried.  Give it up, girlfriend!  You are scared about the surgery and your husband has nothing to do with it.  Be calm... I was "normal" sized when my husband & I met, & for 8 years before we got married.  Then I got pregnant & gained 100+ pounds.  I couldn't lose that weight without surgery and yet I was worried that my marriage of 15+ years would fall apart when I lost weight...yeah, I was being neurotic!   Now, nearly 3 years post-op and at goal for over a year, things are great.  My honey loves me as much as ever...not more, not less, just as much!   Good luck, Dj

Hi there Laura, I'm exactly one month RNY post-op yesterday. Just to give another side to the story, I only had nausea twice, and that was within a week after surgery. The pain was really not much and quite manageable. I was off all pain meds within a few days. The gas after surgery was the worst part, but I asked for pain meds whenever I needed them, and was taken care of promptly. My only regret was that I did not do this sooner!  Yes, it is a big change, but you will not be fighting the same fight after surgery as you did before because your body will be much changed. I have had a couple uncomfortable post-meal times, but that was because I did not follow the diet. Lessons learned. Good luck.